18+

The Myth of Artemis - FINALE

Warning: This work has been rated 18+.

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==Artemis 2026==

TW: 18+ | Descriptions of Violence | Mature Language

Terra Lorenz, 23 Years Old

Kill Simon Akir. It had been a long time since Terra took a life from someone. Though she’d vowed to never kill someone, she eventually let the power go to her head when she killed Beck Sampson. She remembered him as her very first enemy. The man who burnt down her village and caused her to escape to the Order of the Diamond Hearts.

She’d beaten him when she freed the first mutant camp. Like a plague, he returned. After Erica’s death at the hands of Amelia, she and her friends were captured by Jilaya. Terra was tortured at the hands of Beck, now fully under Jilaya’s control. She remembered the fury in his eyes. “I’ll kill you here. Then I’ll kill your friends. Your plan ends here.

She wasn’t sure if it was because he threatened her friends. That was what she liked to tell herself. Yet, something deep inside of her told her that wasn’t the reason why. “I wanted to kill him. I was so mad at him for everything he did. I can’t be as bad as him.” She told herself.

Terra woke up with a shriek. She’d been camping out in T.H.O.R.N headquarters. It was true they were a subsidiary of B.L.A.D.E, but they didn’t seem to have a clear “side” in the war. T.H.O.R.N was essentially the president’s personal group of lackeys.

Delta turned to her, concern present on her face. Terra was unsure if it was true concern or simply her being formal. “Someone didn’t sleep well. You were talking weird shit in your sleep all night!”

“Like what? Did I say anything weird?” Terra asked fearfully.

“Just babble. Besides, if you did say anything weird, I probably wouldn’t tell you anyway.” Delta had just finished getting dressed. She continued to pack on various equipment provided by T.H.O.R.N onto her person. Something that stood out the most was the pair of pistols that she seemed to have newly acquired. Terra imagined Artemis would be looking down on her with a scowl for daring to step down to human creations. “Hey, you said you have that date, right? There’s still plenty of fights that need to be stopped.”

“I know. Tempest and I plan on meeting tonight. Usually activity is low.”

As Terra woke up and began to suit up for the day, she felt those feelings bite at her again. Fear and regret. She’d been out of the fight so long due to her own hubris. Was it right to do this for herself when so many had likely died due to her absence?

“Ugh…I should be focusing on ending the war, though! Maybe I should call it off?”

For once, Delta’s facade was dropped. “You deserve a little break. We all do. The war will end even later if we burn ourselves out. Think about it, it’s also a perfect time to tell Temp about his past, isn’t it?”

“It’s not exactly the most appropriate time, though. I want to be closer to him before I drop something like that on him. Besides, I have no idea how he’ll react.”

New York had turned into a battlefield. Buildings had crumbled, streets cracked, and storefront windows were shattered. Similar to before Terra was taken out of the fight, it was a simple game of patrol. The group assigned by B.L.A.D.E would travel throughout the city and stop fights from happening. Atop a large building, a massive group of mutants camped out. It appeared the smoke from their fire led a ragtag group of humans all equipped with mechs. They were anti-mutant machines created by Kunai Industries. Fortified weapons of destruction that allowed humans to sit inside of a protective rib cage-like enclosure. Around them sat hulking arms and legs that even the stronger mutants had trouble tearing down.

The groups finally clashed, slinging derogatory language at each other. It only took a couple words before the groups clashed. Before Terra and Delta could do anything, themselves and the others' eyes turned to a helicopter flying in on the scene.

Tempest stood bravely as the sliding door to the helicopter opened in a flash. He was outfitted with new war-like attire, armor that covered his body tightly, akin to a samurai. He’d been outfitted with a large cape that fluttered in the wind with the helicopter blades. It was all gray, nearly matching his eyes. He had his trademark sword sitting at his side, sheathed. He rested his hand over the handle.

It was like a whirlwind. Maybe seconds, perhaps milliseconds. She watched him tear through the groups of humans first, as fast as her eyes could track him. His sword slashed like butter through the bulky legs of the humans’ armor. He was more delicate with the mutants, cutting them just enough to leave a mark, but not enough to kill them.

The action was killed at Tempest’s command. Mutants fell, writhing in fear and pain. Humans began to exit their mech suits and sneak away. “Mutants!” Tempest shouted, gaining the attention of all on the roof. “This sword is infected with a dangerous mutant gene that will destroy your body within forty-eight hours! Accept help from us, and we will treat you! If you don’t? You know the rest.”

As more helicopters began to fly in, all of them taking mutants with them, Terra watched in admiration as he helped the mutants aboard. Of course, there was discourse around whether or not it was fair for them to not have a choice in the matter, but this was considered the only way for them to simultaneously stay off the streets and keep them safe. Mutants were taken to a special facility hosted by B.L.A.D.E that kept them housed until the war was over. By this point in the war, humans were overwhelmingly seen as the aggressors. Prying eyes of other mutants outside of these facilities feared it would be just like the mutant camps ran by Jilaya all over again.

Delta leaned over to Terra as they began helping. “He sure missed you, never stopped asking how you were.”

Terra trotted over to Tempest with a shyness in her eyes. His eyes seemed to shine when he finally realized that she’d returned from her absence. “Did you still want to go on that date?” She asked timidly.

With a chuckle, he turned his full body towards her. “I thought you would have forgotten by now.”

“Of course not! You said you were coming back and you’re here now, so…”

“Yes, let’s go. Do you have any ideas?” He questioned.

Terra thought for a second. She was slightly embarrassed by the fact that she hadn’t come up with what their plan was going to be. “We could go sightseeing! I know it’s a war, but have you seen New York’s sky at night?”

“I have no idea what purpose that would serve me.” He responded bluntly.

“Well…We could go to eat…Or maybe we could-”

“No. I like your idea better. Let us meet up here tonight. I never imagined what it would be like to look up at the stars.”

________________________________________________________________________

At night, much of the conflicts died down. The streets had all the characteristics of a riot going down. Broken glass, spray paint, stepped on signs, burnt flags. It was eerie walking through the streets with no people, like the world was frozen in time.

Terra was dressed in casual clothes, hoping that Tempest would return the favor. She tied her hair back in a cute knot, letting her bangs hang.

With one great leap, she arrived at the top of the building they’d previously decided to meet up on. Tempest was waiting for her, looking down on New York.

“What made you want to go on a sightseeing tour during a war?” He immediately asked. Terra realized he dressed a little more formally than she did. Her worries were immediately washed away when his eyes locked onto her.

This wasn’t exactly the first time they’ve felt like this. Before the war started, she’d been on an operation with T.H.O.R.N which demanded she and Tempest attend a ball together. The two of them were doll’d up to the max. To Terra, it felt like her outfit was akin to dressing up a pig back then. Even still, Tempest’s eyes had the same shine to them that they did even four years ago.

“I wanted you to see the same beauty that I see when I look at this city. You’ve pretty much only seen it during war-times. Do you have any suggestions about where to go?”

________________________________________________________________________

Tempest held Terra in his arms, bridal-style. He’d tied a blindfold around her eyes. She felt the air whirl through her hair as he jumped them somewhere high.

“I didn’t expect you to take such an interest! Where next? Come on!” Terra giggled.

They stood in the palm of a gigantic statue of the hero Mr. Untouchable. He was the United States hero, the man who united everyone under one banner. After his untimely death, there was a huge statue built of him in his honor. While the statue of liberty looked over the water, Mr. Untouchable looked over the city. Tempest helped Terra with her blindfold. Revealing the city from the statue’s perspective. Like God looking over his children.

“I remember when the lights were so vibrant. It was beautiful whether you looked up or down.” Terra reflected.

“You told me something about looking up at the stars. All they did was make me wonder. We’re a small dot in an infinite cosmos. A grain of sand in the ocean of space.”

“Way to be cryptic. I don’t like to think about those things. It’s scary, Delta told me that she read somewhere about how the sun’s going to blow up someday. Apparently the Earth will cease to exist.”

Terra laid down next to a sitting Tempest to get a view of the stars.

“We’ll be long gone before the sun explodes. Humanity would’ve likely wiped itself out before then.”

“What?! Wiped ourselves out?” Terra exclaimed. “Jeez…I didn’t go to formal school, so I guess there’s lots of stuff I missed.

Tempest chuckled at her reaction. “It’s like I was born three years ago, and still…I have a vivid idea of all these concepts. I remember a life before I came out of that preservation tank. It’s like I had a childhood filled with learning, but the memories are…spotty.”

“Did you have a life before you came out?”

“That’s one thing I don’t like to think about. How about this? I will pull you out of your intellectual ditch, maybe you can help me out of my mental ditch.”

“Pff. Sounds like you just called me stupid.” Terra jeered.

“T-That’s not what I meant! I just meant you were more in tune with your emotions while I was…” Tempest began to fumble over his words as he desperately tried to explain himself, when Terra grabbed him by the shirt, sending the two tumbling onto one-another.

“I was just kidding.” Terra clarified, her face beet red.

There was the silence of the waves as they locked eyes. Their bodies seemed to do the rest as they locked lips over the city that never sleeps.

________________________________________________________________________

Terra and Millie got breakfast to-go. They ate over her apartment, which was still in great shape. This was their common wake-up routine. Eat breakfast over Millie’s balcony, where they could see the streets from above.

Over the years, Millie had entered a relationship with Amelia, who was out of town. She was happy with a partner and a sustainable (albeit stressful) job, a police detective in New York.

“The date went great! Remember what you told me about all those fake guys? He’s just all there on display, Y’know?” Terra explained.

“About being attracted to Tempest? No. He might be a good one for you, though. I think deep down he wants to help all of us, even if he has trouble showing it. You both have that ‘savior’ attitude about you.”

“Good segway. I lost so much time after I was attacked by that thing in the mask. I wish I could do so much more for this war, but I got sloppy.”

Millie seemed to ignore Terra’s comment. “No time to regret the past. I think you might have a chance to get back at that “Mask” guy. We tracked him back to Simon’s hideout, and our friends at T.H.O.R.N are planning an ambush right now.”

“Holy shit! Already?”

“We’re going to put a stop to this war.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Tempest traveled through the streets of New York. A new purpose present with every step. His phone finally rang for the fifth time today. It was Bordon. Tempest had been taking orders from T.H.O.R.N through Bordon, so he never directly interacted with him. Something about these calls was frantic. He had a lump in his chest whenever she imagined answering them.

So Bordon decided to come straight to him.

Tempest passed by a TV store, which became alit with Bordon’s face. He began calling out to Tempest, until he realized that he was speaking to him through the TV.

“There must be something urgent going on, master. What forced you to contact me like this?” He asked, keeping his cool.

Bordon was already huffy. “I have a personal mission for you Tempest.”

“Just for me?”

“Kill Terra Lorenz.” He spoke with clarity, like his word was the word of a messiah.

Tempest’s words seemed to crumble. It was embarrassing in front of his pseudo-father. “...Wait, what? Why would you want me to do something like that?”

Bordon’s words were cutting. “A question? That’s a first. It’s come to my attention that she’s allowed some sensitive information to be taken. Everything she touches she destroys. You’ll be next, so end her.”

“Well, I think-”

“I think you mean “I will”. Kill her. You knew this was coming. You are the only person who has the power to kill her. Don’t make me repeat myself once more. Don’t forget what I’ve done for you, son.” Bordon threatened before his face disappeared from the TV monitor.

________________________________________________________________________

Terra and Millie geared up. They were surrounded by agents that were supplied by T.H.O.R.N. Aside from them, they were accompanied by the rest of the original taskforce and Delta, all except for Tempest. Terra realized she’d been lost in thought imagining where he was. There was no time to think about Tempest when this mission was about to happen.

“Terra, Millie and I are going to get on the first truck out. You’re our extra firepower, so you’ll be trailing behind. Be light on those feet, alright?” Delta commanded.

She watched as her friends trailed in front of her. Terra was pushed back into the second truck. Where she sat in the back. It was a small, square-like box truck. She sat in the very middle, surrounded by agents on each side.

As they moved in silence, Terra felt increasingly uncomfortable. All the agents around her were seemingly silent. This wasn’t follow-the-mission silent, either. There was a butterfly in her stomach screaming that something was wrong.

“We are headed towards Simon’s encampment, right? I don’t think we’re quite following Millie’s truck.”

A soldier at the very edge of the cab spoke. He stood closest to the door, and when he stood up, his massive body blocked it.

“Terra Lorenz. We’ve been asked by the president to take you in. Come quietly and we’ll be sure to send reinforcements for your friends.”

“...Why not tell me before we got going? Is there a reason the president wants to see me so badly?”

“Who’d deny an invitation from President Bordon?” He faked.

“Someone who he was trying to kill.”

Before even jumping from her seat, Terra lobbed a haymaker punch at the floor of the fortified vehicle. It created a hefty thundercrack that sent them tumbling. The group was sent flying in a tailspin as the truck began to barrel roll down the road.

In an incredible display of brief martial arts, she knocked down the agents that were still standing. Her fist cracked through their fortified face-masks, sending glass and metal into the air. Any blow that the men delivered couldn’t hope to match a demi-god. With a brief turning kick, she sent the large agent from before out of the barn doors of the box-truck. He towered over the five-foot two Terra, bearing his muscles like a rabid dog bares its teeth.

He sent haymakers Terra’s way, only for her to redirect them. Quick outside blocks caused his armored body to snap off of Terra’s armor in an ear-splitting shockwave. With the next attack, he reached too far, trying to punch through Terra, who’d already side-stepped his blow. She grabbed a hold of his fat arm and delivered a sharp knee into his elbow. His scream at the sight of his shattered arm was more animalistic than anything. He let out a howl as he fell to the grass, beside the armored truck.

She climbed atop the man and ripped his mask off, revealing a middle-aged man who looked like he’d just seen the light of God. “Where were you taking me?! Is the president trying to kill me!? Give me answers before I start with your other arm!” She shouted.

“Bordon…He told us to separate you from the crowd. You know more information than he’s comfortable with. You are the source of it all. The source of this war. It would be so much easier if you’d just die!”

The man’s hateful words shook Terra, to her surprise. The reality she believed for so long was just confirmed for her. “Yes. This is all my fault.” She reeled her thoughts back. “That’s why I need to stop Simon.

Terra dropped the bitter man, opting to sprint back to where they’d just come from. This was where her knowledge of the New York streets came in handy. She remembered the map on the mission briefing, including the general area where Simon’s hangout was spotted.

But first, more armored trucks. They came in like a typhoon. Flooding the street that they were originally on. She counted almost ten armored trucks, all filled with Bordon’s personal agents.

________________________________________________________________________

Delta, Millie, and their group of agents were tearing through the humans equipped with armored mechs. Everytime they faced one-another, the mechs seemed to get stronger.

Tempest had wandered away from Bordon. He’d finally made it to Simon’s hideout. Simon Akir, the prejudiced leader of humans, had finally been backed into a corner. Tempest’s mind stirred with ways he’d butcher him. After all, he was partly responsible for Terra’s near-death due to his control over the mysterious man in a mask.

Simon’s hideout was essentially a large abandoned construction area. It seemed Delta and company had gone in the front entrance, while Tempest opted to cut his way in through the back entrance. He found himself in a large indoor campsite that Simon likely called his quarters.

I’ve gotta be close.” He told himself as he slunk around a corner.

Bang!

A gunshot rang out, nearly deafening Tempest all in one shot. It seemed the bullet had just barely missed his face due to his skillful reaction.

This was the bastard.

He was a tall, skinny man in an all black suit and tie. Covering his face was a mask of a crow. Equally all-black with beady red eyes. In a scuffle with Delta and Terra, he’d stabbed her in the neck. Terra would’ve easily died if Delta wasn’t there to help.

“You’re going to pay.”

He didn’t seem to have any semblance of a reaction. He shot the pistol in his hand directly into Tempest’s chestplate. Even the kickback of the revolver he’d shot him with was enough to send him flying back, as Tempest caught himself, he looked up to see The Mask had switched his equipment into a shotgun. All Tempest could do was jump for cover. As he hid behind a rickety old couch, he weighed his options among the sprays of gunfire.

Fuck. Do I really have to use it?” He asked himself as he pulled a syringe that he’d stashed inside of his armor. His armor was covering most of his body, and he needed the drug to work as fast as possible, so he plunged it into his neck.

Time seemed to slow to a near-stop. He stood up, blade drawn, and feeling slightly sluggish. He watched as the scattering case of ammo spattered from the shotgun in slow-motion.

As time sped back up to normal speed, Tempest plunged his sword through the back of The Mask. The amount of blood that spewed out seemed nearly nonexistent. When he collapsed to the ground, lifeless, that was when Tempest decided this creature may have been some semblance of human.

“That was quite the battle.” Simon’s arid voice rang through the air.

Tempest had nearly forgotten his face, which had grown quite unkempt. He had a patchy beard and blonde hair. The man looked tired, with bags hidden under his glasses. He wore a Hawaiian tee, as if he was on vacation during this standoff.

Tempest immediately turned to the man, preparing his blade, when his legs lost all their strength. The repercussions of the drug that he’d used on himself were taking affect, and Tempest laid, crumbled on the floor. Simon let out a chuckle.

“Look at that. The mutant lies crumpled on the floor directly in front of me. You are the President’s specimen. What a shame.” He teased.

“If you have any plans with me, get them over with now. I killed your pet. Are you going to do something about it?” Tempest shot back.

“I have live evidence of what you did to my bodyguard. Cameras inside caught it all!”

“You don’t even have anything to gain. This war has taken too many lives.”

“Of course I have something to gain.” Simon started. “Peace. Everything needs to go back to how it was. What happened to equality? I am going to put a stop to the mutants who are abusing their power! Everytime our reign is threatened, we always come out on top. Why do you think that is? It’s because mutants like you overexert yourself. This world should not have a species above humans. We must stay equal. Or we’ll kill each other. Humans bite back, hear me?!”

Crack!

Terra’s fist came rocketing across Simon’s face. His glasses were shattered, and her blow had already left a huge bruise on his cheek. When Terra pinned him down, kneeling on top of him, he began to laugh.

“It was all your fault! If you hadn’t meddled in human affairs, everything would’ve stayed as it was!” He spat into Terra’s frozen face. “Remember that General Gray fucker?! It all started when he took my wife from me!”

A voice in the back of Terra’s head began to scream. “Kill him now. This is all a game to him. He’s trying to win you over with flattery.

“All the superhumans have done is use me and hurt my friends, and it all started with you, Terra. At sixteen you began something you’ll never walk away from!”

He’s just talking because he’s afraid of dying.

Terra begged. “Please, Simon. Just agree to turn yourself in.”

“Pff. I’d rather you kill me than be charged with war crimes!” He admitted. It felt like a pitiful surrender. Or a bluff? Was it a bluff? “I’ve proven my point already. Humans fight back when they feel cornered. Look at your boy toy over there. He’s a pile of spaghetti now.”

Tempest? She turned her head to see Tempest, collapsed on the floor behind her. Her vision had already grown blurred, and her stomach had tied itself into a knot.

Now there was a ringing. A constant ringing, followed by blood. Heaps of blood. Terra felt it stabbed straight into her ear. Simon had stabbed a pencil straight into her ear while her head was turned away. He was running for the door. Terra raced for the Mask’s revolver that was left on the floor.

“Do it. I know you’d like to. Even if you do kill me, another man just like me will-”

Bang. Followed by bits of Simon’s brain squelching against the wall.

All she could do was cry.

Tempest, with all his strength, reached for her body, he firmly grasped her hand. Holding her as tightly as he could in her sorrow.

________________________________________________________________________

Terra sat in her (mostly) restored apartment. It had been a week since she last saw Tempest. A week since Simon’s death. The newswoman on her TV gave news about the war.

“The Human-Mutant Civil War is finally coming to an end after five long years. War has officially ceased. Regrettably, we will be revealing the official death toll. May God be with us all.”

Terra was frozen. Her face grew pale. That many people? She’d assisted in the deaths of that many people?

President Bordon was on the news with an official statement. “My hearts go out to the people who were affected by this. I hope everyone knows just as well as me that mutants are not done. They were let out much ahead of schedule. I planned to free them. But not like this. Over the next few years, we will be rounding them up, to stop this madness once and for all.”

Words could not describe the constant heartbreak that Terra felt when she was reminded of those numbers. “You are useless. How could you let this happen? I shouldn’t live. Not with this much blood on my hands.

There was a knock at her apartment door. Terra’s heart was slightly lifted when she realized it was Tempest at the door.

“What’s the new fancy knife for, Temp?” She asked.

“Oh, this?” He stumbled over his words as he hid it behind his back. “It’s actually a tanto. A dagger that the samurai used to carry on themselves.”

Terra, unaware of the situation, simply responded, “cool. You can come in.”

Tempest sat on Terra’s bed. He watched Terra head over to her kitchen and begin to fix a drink. “Do you want something to drink?”

“A bit early to drink, isn’t it?” He mumbled, knife at his side. He slowly began to stand up from Terra’s bed, uncovering the blade of the tanto.

Quickly, now.

“You’re going to need some alcohol early in the morning today. I need to talk to you about your past.” Terra turned back towards Tempest, who quickly resigned to his original position on the bed.

“My…Past? Do you know something?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was so caught up with the war.”

“It’s okay.” He responded softly, the tanto drifting away.

There was a silence between them as they both held their drinks.

“...Are you ready? It’s kind of heavy.” Terra half-whispered.

Tempest gave a nod.

“We found the laboratory you were created in called facility 23. I…Want you to see this video your mother left you. I think that you were supposed to see this when you first came out of your preservation tank, but things got in the way.”

Terra loaded up a video that had been stored inside of a USB drive. For the first time, Tempest saw his mother’s face. It was Jilaya. She smiled brightly at the camera.

“Hello from 2001, Theo! This is the first day I’ve placed you in your preservation tank. I’ll be waiting for you for years to come. I understand it must be confusing, coming into the world like this. My father and I strove to create the strongest mutant alive. Even when you come out, it’s likely your mutant abilities are dormant. I can help you unlock your gifts, little one. Your full name is Theodore Springer, and I’m so happy to meet you! Someday, we can look back at this video and laugh. I love you. Your mommy loves you.”

Tempest looked on at the video in befuddlement, even after it stopped. His eyes were stained. “Isn’t it funny what could’ve been?” He muttered.

“I’m sorry Tempest. I should take the blame for most of this. If it wasn’t for me, you might be able to-”

“Stop. None of this is your fault. How could you expect to have known this would be the outcome of each of our lives?”

“Well…I-”

“I love you.” The words came out faster than Tempest could think. “I love you because you do what you think is right. Even if things don’t work out, someone needs to have the courage and strength to step up. We’ll work together to make things right.”

The numbers she’d seen on the screen only added up in her mind. She wrapped her hands around Tempest, as the tears came.

________________________________________________________________________

"Her story rings on. Some of her tales are unspoken. Others written down in the annals of forgotten history. The fake scribe god of this multiverse chose her as his favorite. No matter the quality. There is a sentimentality tied to this woman. Thus her connection to all. Thus her branches reach far into the future, even after death."

End.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the jinxed S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - The mutants are put away again (whatever is going to happen to them?!), Terra reveals to Tempest that his mother is Jilaya, the world is literally ending, but at least Terra and Tempest have each other!

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.

Chocolate Bar - Wooahhh that was intense! I love how Simon’s argument for “equality” just doesn’t sound like true equality, but what his version of equality is. I also like that Tempest struggled to kill Terra and ultimately chose not to because he loves her and feels that it would be wrong. Another thing I’ve enjoyed was the happy ending, where Terra and Tempest embraced. It gives a sense of hope in a world that’s crumbling.

Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a fantastic finale! I think that it all came together nicely and so, I’ll be looking at your other stories to delve deeper into this world that you created! Terra’s legacy certainly lives on and so…

I wish you an amazing day/night! ^v^

Random avatar
Ravena
Review
Ravena wrote a review · Fri Jun 27, 2025 6:54 pm

Hello, My Friend!

It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review the next chapter in this great story, using my Familiar method! Let’s dive right in, shall we?

What The Black Eyes See
~ A full analysis and breakdown


Woo, what a finale!! The tension between Tempest and Terra was handled very well, and so was the hunt for Simon! And ending it the way you did...Oh man, that got me nervous for a second, but what a sweet note to leave Terra's story on! Let's get into the details though.

Plot and Pacing: Great! Nice pacing, tying up a lot of characters' stories, plus some added tension with the romance between Tempest and Terra—and Bordon's order to kill Terra (you had me worried with that one!! ToT). I love the angle you went with for the fight, with Tempest and the Mask sidelined, leaving only Terra and Simon. And the struggle was less about the physical fight, and more about Terra's will to kill a human. Especially with how sorrowful she is about the deathtoll, and her guilt...Ugh, so good!

Descriptions and Setting: Great! I love the setting you built up here. The abandoned construction site and riot-strewn husk of New York made for such a foreboding backdrop to the whole chapter. There's something inherently...maybe not liminal exactly, but definitely uncanny in imagining these famous/familiar urban strongholds as thrashed and near-empty ruins. I think it's half of what makes so many apocalyptic movies so effective and it works here just as well.

Action: Awesome! It was so cool seeing Tempest use his power to dismantle the human mechs AND mutants at the same time. And Terra seamlessly beating up all of Bordon's lackeys, a short demigod girl literally punching and kicking her way through armor? AWESOME!

Characterization: Man, the emotional rollercoaster Terra went on in this chapter...Figuring out where to go with Tempest, what to tell him about his past, gearing up to kill Simon, actually killing Simon, coping with the results of this war and the final deathtoll. The emotional breakdowns throughout felt very appropriate and it felt like more weight was put on Terra's actions each time.

Grammar and Wording: Overarchingly? Looks great!

Where The Dagger Points
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations


Not much to put here at all! Let’s break it down…

The groups finally clashed, slinging derogatory language at each other. It only took a couple words before the groups clashed.


It felt a bit odd to say "the groups clashed" twice here. Perhaps removing the first mention, starting with the derogatory language would help?

Tempest had been taking orders from T.H.O.R.N through Bordon, so he never directly interacted with him. Something about these calls was frantic. He had a lump in his chest whenever she imagined answering them.


Potential, minor typo toward the end of this bit here. It feels like that "she" was supposed to be "he" (unless I've been imagining Tempest wrong XD)

That’s all! Great writing job ~

Why The Grin Widened
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts


Whelp, it's the finale so I guess there's not much I can say for theories (and ngl, theory brain is fried because of my crazy review goal lol). However, I have plenty of highlights and reactions to share, no doubt about that!!

She wasn’t sure if it was because he threatened her friends. That was what she liked to tell herself. Yet, something deep inside of her told her that wasn’t the reason why. “I wanted to kill him. I was so mad at him for everything he did. I can’t be as bad as him.” She told herself.


I like how even in the beginning, we see Terra wrestling with the deaths she's already caused, and those she plans to—if possible. And what an interesting thing to tell herself, "I can't be as bad as him." Ah, I love when a hero explores philosophy like that, the "if I do this, I'm no better than they are" mentality!

“Ugh…I should be focusing on ending the war, though! Maybe I should call it off?”

For once, Delta’s facade was dropped. “You deserve a little break. We all do. The war will end even later if we burn ourselves out. Think about it, it’s also a perfect time to tell Temp about his past, isn’t it?”


Aw, what a sweet moment of genuineness from Delta. Still was a little suspicious, ngl, but I liked this moment. Plus, great bit of buildup as far as telling Tempest the truth goes!

“Mutants!” Tempest shouted, gaining the attention of all on the roof. “This sword is infected with a dangerous mutant gene that will destroy your body within forty-eight hours! Accept help from us, and we will treat you! If you don’t? You know the rest.”


OOO, this was a wild moment!! As if literally handicapping everyone in that fight wasn't enough, the blade is essentially poisonous?? Daaaang!

The two of them were doll’d up to the max. To Terra, it felt like her outfit was akin to dressing up a pig back then. Even still, Tempest’s eyes had the same shine to them that they did even four years ago.


Aw!! This was a cute little memory to include. Although, was a sad little moment of vulnerability from Terra, admitting that she felt like she was "dressing up a pig" back then. Poor girl, too relatable :(

They stood in the palm of a gigantic statue of the hero Mr. Untouchable. He was the United States hero, the man who united everyone under one banner. After his untimely death, there was a huge statue built of him in his honor. While the statue of liberty looked over the water, Mr. Untouchable looked over the city.


Ooo, this was a cool bit of lore on where superheroes came from!!

“You told me something about looking up at the stars. All they did was make me wonder. We’re a small dot in an infinite cosmos. A grain of sand in the ocean of space.”


**flashbacks to DRU chaos and the Desert of Sinkholes**

Tempest...especially in this universe, you are not wrong XD

“Kill Terra Lorenz.” He spoke with clarity, like his word was the word of a messiah.

Tempest’s words seemed to crumble. It was embarrassing in front of his pseudo-father. “...Wait, what? Why would you want me to do something like that?


OMGGG, this moment!!! That one blindsided me!! O.O

Millie seemed to ignore Terra’s comment. “No time to regret the past. I think you might have a chance to get back at that “Mask” guy. We tracked him back to Simon’s hideout, and our friends at T.H.O.R.N are planning an ambush right now.”


Ooo, that was fast! Likewise, I thought it was a cute detail that Millie and Amelia ended up together, that's so fitting!

Bang. Followed by bits of Simon’s brain squelching against the wall.

All she could do was cry.


Oof—that description and sound effect. A lovely bit of gore to accentuate the moment (I swear I'm not crazy, I'm just a horror fan XD). Likewise, LOVE the immediate response.

Words could not describe the constant heartbreak that Terra felt when she was reminded of those numbers. “You are useless. How could you let this happen? I shouldn’t live. Not with this much blood on my hands.”


THIS MOMENT. This really tugged at the heart here, the guilt Terra is showing for the results of this war. Ugh, and her going as far as to say "I shouldn't live" was brutal ToT

“A bit early to drink, isn’t it?” He mumbled, knife at his side. He slowly began to stand up from Terra’s bed, uncovering the blade of the tanto.


!!! You had me going with this for a moment there!! Great buildup, great tension, but JEEZ—talk about a brutal way to go after all of this!!

Terra loaded up a video that had been stored inside of a USB drive. For the first time, Tempest saw his mother’s face. It was Jilaya. She smiled brightly at the camera.


Wait, JILAYA was Tempest's mother?!?! That...explains a lot actually, but still!!

“I love you.” The words came out faster than Tempest could think. “I love you because you do what you think is right. Even if things don’t work out, someone needs to have the courage and strength to step up. We’ll work together to make things right.”


Aw!! So sweet, and what an inspirational thing for him to say!

"Her story rings on. Some of her tales are unspoken. Others written down in the annals of forgotten history. The fake scribe god of this multiverse chose her as his favorite. No matter the quality. There is a sentimentality tied to this woman. Thus her connection to all. Thus her branches reach far into the future, even after death."


Oh, what a cool way to end the story!! I love the mystery of it—I can just imagine what happened after all of this. Meeting Kara, Nox, and the others, joining the Sentinels, and what her untimely death would've looked like...

Our Mad Thoughts...


Overall, that was an amazing finale!! I am very curious if you have a new project in this world, and what it will look like...But in the meantime, I enjoyed this one! Nicely done! :D


Thus concludes my review. To leave off, here are some inspiring quotes, courtesy of your resident Poe freak ~

"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."

Thank you for the review! Like I kinda mentioned before, the story was sorta a greatest hits compilation from the time I wrote Terra in 2019; now ported into my current writing style.

Since youve been reading my stuff as it comes out (and thank you thank you THANK YOU for that!!!) I felt like this was important to drop while I was dropping things like Kara and Skys stories. Right now Im in the process of working on something more full-length that continues the story of this world. However, there is still more to come before that story ever sees the light of day!

You're very welcome, I love the world you're building here!! :D <3

And OMG, that sounds exciting!!



Writing is like love: the real thing is a lot less romantic
— dragonfphoenix