I'm not sure if this is any good. I just sort of sat down and tried to write. I felt like I had to. I can't cry anymore.
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First the lamp,
Into my arm.
Then the kick,
To cause more harm.
The days burn.
The nights freeze.
God, give me a way to get
Through this with ease.
And now it is coming,
The bomb not yet dropped.
The never-ending tragedy,
That cannot be stopped.
So my life is up in smoke.
My heart has been run-through.
I try so hard to fight,
But the tears still come true.
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,564 Reviews
Thanks for the reviews, guys.
This is a nice poem. Some rhymes felt effort less like the one in the 3rd stanza. But most of the other rhymes felt forced. I wasn't really sure what was going through out the whole poem, because at first you talk about being hit and then you don't really talk about that anymore. I hope I helped! I enjoyed reading it.
Keep writing!
Wow.... Im just speechless.
This was really beautiful, and terribly sad all at the same time. You have so much emotion in this it almost brought me to tears. Its so simply put and yet still very powerful.
I loved the intro, and at first was a little apprehensive that maybe it would just be a bunch of beating metaphors... but when I reached the end it just tugged at me...
Great poem, it was lovely! You get a gold star as well ^_^