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12+ Mature Content

The Monster I have Become

by frogforest


Sometimes it’s hard to look at who I’ve become

Surely that couldn’t be me

Impossible that I have become

Such a vicious

Ruthless

Teeth baring

Blood hungry

Monster

---

All of my own invention

Laughing behind backs

Unironically rude through innocent faces

Lying for the reward of attention

Walking upon others by

Stepping up the stairs of social status

---

And to cover my tracks,

Fountains of excuses present:

I didn’t know what I was saying

I never understood

I thought that’s what you wanted

That was in the past

I’ve changed

I’m different now

---

Oh, no

I’m exactly the same

No, that’s not right

I’m worse

---

Sometimes it’s hard to look at who I’ve become

Surely that couldn’t be me

Impossible that I have become

Such a self hating

Violent

Graphic

Machine of destruction

Running purely off of my

Unquenchable

Hatred

---

Flinching when a memory surfaces

Screaming at the reflection in the mirror

An inanimate object, yet all me

---

Self depreciation can take many forms

For me, it was, is, physical

---

So strange, to see the person I have become

---

To know that the little girl

Who ran freely through

Acres of dead leaves and fallen trees

Without any care beyond that of the present

Would become

The girl who smiles a little too hard in public

Pushes the pins into her skin

A little too hard in private

---

The girl who once fainted at the sight of blood

Craves it all hours of the day

Wishing to see it run from her body

In copious amounts

But is much too coward to finish the job

---

Sometimes it’s hard to accept the person I have become


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10 Reviews

Points: 79
Reviews: 10

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Thu Mar 11, 2021 4:25 pm
vanillavelvet13 wrote a review...



Hey-o, frogforest! I immediately clicked onto your poem after I saw the trigger warning! I thought it'd be nice to leave a review!

Sometimes it’s hard to look at who I’ve become

Surely that couldn’t be me

Impossible that I have become

Such a vicious


These lines often show people how much they've changed over time and how they think they shouldn't be like this and expect to change again yet they don't know that this change is needed, that it's their own character development. No matter how wrong or how right it is. I really relate to this up to this day, I'd look in the mirror or tell my closest friends how much I miss my old self before, and they'd always say that this is for the best because it isn't wrong, nothing ever is.

All of my own invention


I didn't understand this line. Yet I think that invention means someone's actions, things that they did? The more that I read, that's how I came up with that!

Laughing behind backs

Unironically rude through innocent faces

Lying for the reward of attention

Walking upon others by

Stepping up the stairs of social status


This is where I really made up the intention of the hidden meaning of the word "intention" in your poem. How people judge your actions behind your backs really sucks. The way they would do anything just to be popular. The demands they take and everything they do.

Fountains of excuses present:

I didn’t know what I was saying

I never understood

I thought that’s what you wanted

That was in the past

I’ve changed

I’m different now


THIS IS WHERE I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS POEM. THE LAST THREE LINES OF THIS PARAGRAPH TOOK ME! How someone changes and realizes everything people did to them and how they know how to stop them now is real character development. I absolutely adore this.

I’m exactly the same

No, that’s not right

I’m worse


Idk why, but now I think this is the most relatable poem I have ever read... ;-; oh my god.

The girl who once fainted at the sight of blood

Craves it all hours of the day

Wishing to see it run from her body

In copious amounts

But is much too coward to finish the job


This is the most vulnerable paragraph in the poem in my opinion. It really shows how someone can be so weak in private and yet try her best to be strong outside and be cool with everything that they do.

The last line is the dessert of this poem. I love how you ended it with that line. It completes and made me feel. Thank you for this gorgeous poem, it really made my day honestly.

Keep writing!! I'll be reading! <333




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118 Reviews

Points: 7737
Reviews: 118

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Tue Mar 09, 2021 5:41 pm
Coffeeboyjay wrote a review...



first i would say i love this poem because its like a little story about mental health. I really didn't like when you were trying to compare yourself to a monster. I didn't really like the last part when you said


"The girl who once fainted at the sight of blood" I think you could of replaced that with something else.


But my favorite part was when you went on to talk about your reflection in the mirror.when you said

" linching when a memory surfaces

Screaming at the reflection in the mirror

An inanimate object, yet all me"

Some parts wasn't as clear to me as others also.

But other than that it was a really good poem.


Great job-Jason20




EsmerayaRose says...


I didn't find anything wrong with her poem I think she did perfectly fine.
She does give you a warning at the beginning saying all this was going to be in this poem



frogforest says...


Thanks both of you guys!



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46 Reviews

Points: 94
Reviews: 46

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Tue Mar 09, 2021 5:25 pm
EsmerayaRose wrote a review...



I really did like this it kind of reminded me of I can't Escape(you should go check it out)
It's a series I'm thinking about doing it's going to be about mental health and how important it is. But I really love the part when you said "The girl who smiles a little too hard in public

Pushes the pins into her skin

A little too hard in private"

That part was really interesting. I also think this is relatable in certain parts. I'm personally can relate to this poem. Most of it some of it I'm trying not to become. We all at a certain point become something we don't like physically and mentally. That's why I came to read this poem because of your title i. I liked how it was describing how she didn't like it and how she used to be happy and how she was scared to finish the job.


Keep up the good work-BrokenHeartAri🖤




frogforest says...


Thanksss




So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install a lovely bookcase on the wall.
— Roald Dahl