Sapphire And The Gigantic Magical Blizzard!!!!!

Hi there! Here's a review for your (friend's) short story.
So I really liked the concept of this story, about how there's a huge deadly blizzard wiping out populations, and how a town protects itself from this blizzard but not others from it, and the main character does not like this force field. I also liked the part about the "hamster genie," that was really funny.
But one thing that I noticed about this story is that it was really rushed.

After that I stared at all the other shops, and decided what I should probably get some Tiger Wasp venom, a dragon claw, and ohh! Sleeping dust! I had a plan!

So this part I thought was kind of rushed because the protagonist looked at the shops and suddenly thought of some things they should buy for a plan for doing something that the narrator did not tell us what was for. The character also did not explain what kind of shop it was that they bought these things from, as all of them seem to be magical ingredients, so they must have bought it from a magical store.
The next paragraph was also rushed.

First things first... I ran into a taxi. "Take me to town hall!" I yelled and we zoomed to the building. I raced inside and got to the mayor's office. Someone walked in with his tea, so I grabbed it and poured the dust into the cup. "What-" said the mayor, because he noticed me! He grabbed his tea, and then he drank from it, before falling right asleep.

Wait, what? First of all, why was no one watching the character in the mayor's office in case she stole something or poisoned the mayor, since he is a very important person? Second of all, was the mayor in the room? What did he notice about the character? That she was there, or that she was pouring tranquilizer into his cup? And also, why did the mayor just drink his cup of tea and not ask or say anything after he saw her?
Lastly, I thought it was interesting how the main character didn't want the force field to be there, but they never explained why they thought that. I was also confused at this part:

"Let's build a gigantic force field so the blizzard doesn't wipe US out!!!" But, let's just say that's unfair.

I was kind of confused on why the character said, "But let's just say that's unfair" because it seemed like they were just trying to avoid why they thought it was unfair to make a force field over the town. I also found it strange that the character didn't like the forcefield even though they said at the beginning,

I hate the giant blizzard. It is very unfair.

So if they don't like the blizzard, then why would they open the forcefield and let it in?
Sorry this was such a long review, you probably can't change this because your friend wrote this and not you, but that's okay. Hope this was helpful and happy writing!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a pretty interesting little tale. Given how short it is, there are some parts which inevitably end up a little bit more rushed than perhaps they should be but overall I think its a pretty interesting story, one with quite the little message there about our character.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I hate the giant blizzard. It is very unfair. Okay, so let me explain:

I live in a giant city in sunshineland. Well, it was Sunshineland until about 25 years ago. Then, there was a gigantic blizzard. It was wiping everyone out, so the mayor said: "Let's build a gigantic force field so the blizzard doesn't wipe US out!!!" But, let's just say that's unfair. For example: Turkey Land doesn't even have any turkeys anymore, so why is it even called that?!

I always feel like the force field should not even exist........

I was at the market right by the force field and trying to figure out a way to get rid of it. I wondered how to do that, when I found a very fancy lamp!

"I will take this, please." I said and paid 25 moneys for it. After that I stared at all the other shops, and decided what I should probably get some Tiger Wasp venom, a dragon claw, and ohh! Sleeping dust!

Okayy...that was a bit of a quick explanation on the blizzard. I feel like maybe that needs a wee bit more explanation there. Things happens a little too fast there. It feels like the explanation wasn't completed there especially when it cuts to that lamp so fast. The lamp scene though is a fun one. I think its a good way to generally introduce the area. That blizzard section just needs a cleaner transition between scenes.

I had a plan!

First things first... I ran into a taxi. "Take me to town hall!" I yelled and we zoomed to the building. I raced inside and got to the mayor's office. Someone walked in with his tea, so I grabbed it and poured the dust into the cup.

"What-" said the mayor, because he noticed me! He grabbed his tea, and then he drank from it, before falling right asleep.

Next step. I got right to the edge of the force field, but how would I get up? Aha! Idea! I ran to the appliances store, and bought two plungers. I used them to climb up the force field, and got the Tiger Wasp venom out. I poured it on the force field and then stabbed it with the dragon claw... would it work?

Okayy..well that explains a lot more suddenly. It seems we're in the midst of some sort of plan there to actually go ahead and take down this force field. Well, this is suddenly taking off quite powerfully here. We'll see where we're headed then.

The force field crackled and fizzed, but did not go out. Outside of it, the cold blizzard was whipping into it. Darn it! Suddenly, my lamp was glowing. I looked into it, and out came a hamster genie wearing glittery jewelry!!!

"What is your wish?" she asked. "I have already done two, so you only have one left."

Yes! This was my chance, I decided. "I need you to destroy this force field!" I cried.

"Really? You will regret it..." said the hamster genie.

"yes!" I cried. The genie sighed and snapped her fingers. The force field disappeared! Finally!

Two years later...

It is s cold! The blizzard came into our city, and is wiping all of us out. Bad idea!

Well that was a quick ending. I honestly just laughed a little towards the end cause of quite how deadpan that final bit was but it definitely seems to be a bit more geared towards something of a sad ending, and well it definitely seems that way. I think its an interesting little bit of moral implications there too. It definitely does leave you thinking a bit once you get over the deadpan delivery there.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think a pretty solid story. It definitely has a lot of room for some expansion just for this pretty interesting sounding world to get a little bit more explanations and details in there but as just as short story its punchy and I think it works for the most part quite well.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate