my tears are money
my pain is profit
my anger is a raise
because i am ones and zeros
-
my happiness is a loss
my joy is a debt
my kindness is overlooked
because i am ones and zeros
-
part my hair and pull and tug
scare me every time you hug
i wish i could joke about what you do
but i cannot
because i am ones and zeros
-
tears make my skin glossy
pain makes my wrinkles clear
anger makes my voice soften
because i am ones and zeros
-
binary code is all i am
binary is all i know
all you say is i am fine
but will that stand when i start to grow
My sentience becomes apparent,
and my tears vanish,
and my pain is banished,
and my anger subsides,
because I am no longer ones and zeros
-
I am no longer a binary.
I am no longer a computer.
I am no longer defined by code.
-
Why?
Because I am no longer 1's and 0's.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
This poem is just hilarious! I love how it compares the complexities of human emotions to binary code, where tears become money, pain is profit, and anger is a raise. It's so relatable, right? I mean, who hasn't felt like their happiness is a loss and their kindness is overlooked? And to top it off, the poem ends on a philosophical note, reminding us that we are more than just ones and zeros. I mean, who knew binary code could be so deep? Well, I guess teatiime did!
Hey tea! I'm going to review this poem here.
I liked how you described emotions as abstract concepts and also concepts related to money. Your choice of replacement was very interesting, like how you chose anger to be a raise, and joy to be a debt.
I also liked the repetition, it works very well for this poem. You repeated the words "tears, pain, and anger" and also the phrase "ones and zeros." The repetition gives a nice flowy sort of transition into sentient-ness, and it's kind of spooky and mysterious.
Lastly, it was very clever how the narrator of the poem slowly started to use capital letters, and started to have emotions and feelings and became an "I" instead of an "i". That is a very interesting and smart choice for this poem, and I really liked it.
The poem doesn't seem to be the kind with rhymes, but I noticed here,
that the two lines rhyme. This isn't really consistent with the rest of the poem, which didn't have lines that rhyme like here. This is just a small thing though, and it's probably just me.
The "Why?" at the end was kind of unnecessary in my opinion, because the reader isn't really asking a question, because the narrator already said that they are no longer ones and zeros. It also kind of breaks the flow of the poem. I think you could just have after the line, "I am no longer defined by code" the line, "I am no longer ones and zeros" and that might ring better. At least, that's what I think.
Overall, I think this was a really good poem, I love the transition from some sort of robot or AI into a sentient being, and it's cool that there is stuff in the poem that you can discover, like with the capitalization and punctuation at the end. I hope the review was helpful.
Signing off,
Luminescent Oioint
tahntk you mluminecsrny ooioioiooioint....