"No matter what you do, don't let your guard down. That's the number one way to lose." Her mother warned Leia. Leia nodded earnestly and just opened her mouth when Annabeth lunged.
Soon she found herself on the floor, her mother staring down at her. "What did I say?" she chided, helping Leia up. Leia gritted her teeth and grabbed her sword from the ground, which had been knocked out of her hands.
"The second thing you should do is look. Examine your opponent, looking for their weaknesses and strong points. This is important. But no matter what, keep your weapon ready."
As her mother talked, Leia followed her instructions. Annabeth makes hand movements while she talks, Leia thought. She decided to use that to her advantage.
She quickly attacked, trying to make some type of wound. However, her mother was quicker. She brought her sword up under Leia's and blocked it. Leia pushed, but to no avail. Beads of sweat trickled down the sides of her face.
Then, suddenly, Annabeth dropped her sword. Leia stumbled forward, in shock. "That wasn't fair!" she cried, regaining her footing.
"Do you think your enemy will play fair? Do you think they'll just go easy on you? No, Leia. They'll try all sorts of tricks to win. You have to be prepared for them--they'll be analyzing your weak points, too, and if you're not prepared for gambits like that, it's not going to be much of a contest." Her mother's eyes were hard and Leia immediately pushed all thoughts of fairness out of her mind. Clenching her sword, she took a deep breath. She had to be ready for the quest.
Annabeth slashed at Leia's leg, and Leia instinctively rolled to the side. She jumped up and swiped towards her mother's shoulder. Clang! The unnaturally white sword her mother owned hit Leia's Celestial bronze blade, holding it in an X position. Leia held it there for a moment, then with all her strength pushed forward. Her mother stumbled backwards.
Holding her breath and hoping that this worked, Leia ducked under Annabeth's swing and whipped the flat of her blade against her mother's feet. The force brought her mother down and Leia smiled triumphantly, holding her sword tip against Annabeth's throat.
Her mother nodded. "Let's try again." Leia's heart sank. That battle already had her sweating. Would she have to do more?
She got her answer.
They worked on her technique and strategy, battle after battle while the sky darkened. Soon it was almost time for dinner, and Leia could barely stay on her feet. She staggered to a bench and sat there, trying to catch her breath. Her mother jogged over to her, grinning. Leia noticed with surprise that she wasn't even breathing hard.
"Tough, right?" Her mother teased. Leia rolled her eyes and pushed herself up.
"I'm gonna go take a shower," she called out as she slowly walked to the Poseidon cabin. The strict lesson that she had just taken... if she felt this tired already, how would she make the quest? Suddenly, she felt very weak and not at all ready to battle a bunch of monsters and save the world like her parents did. "Impossible task number one: complete the quest," she muttered to herself as she closed walked into the cabin. "There is absolutely no way I'm going to do this."
Then she noticed her father sitting on the edge of the bed, studying a thin object in his hands. He looked up, startled, his eyes like a deer's who was caught in headlights. He held the thing in his hands defensively. When he comprehended the situation, he slumped down onto the bed and resumed staring at the object. Was that a... pen? "Hey, dad, what are you holding?" Leia asked curiously.
Her father paused and looked up, forcing a smile. "Oh, it's my weapon." he explained. "A pen. Ballpoint, to be exact."
Leia stared, bewildered. "Wait... what?"
"Yeah, you heard me. A pen."
"How can THAT be your weapon?" Leia asked incredulously.
Now he grinned, a real one. "Let me show you." He uncapped the pen and Leia watched in awe as it expanded into a sword, just like her own weapon. Her father fingered the grip lovingly.
"You used that one when saving the world and whatnot?" she ventured. He nodded and touched the cap to the tip of the sword. Immediately, it shrunk back into pen form.
"Well, I'm going to go shower now. Um..." Leia's father nodded and hurried out of the room, leaving her by herself. She quickly took her shower and headed down to the mess hall. This time, she found Festus and all the rest of her friends, and she slid in next to them. She was famished from training, and she eagerly ate all of her food in record time.
"So... are you guys ready to go on a quest?" Sammy asked awkwardly, staring at his food. He didn't seem all that hungry, Leia noticed.
"Not entirely," Silena admitted. "I still feel like I'm going to fail."
"Agreed!" Piped Festus. "No way am I going to be as awesome as my dad!"
"... my mom went full out on training today. I'm still not sure if I'm ready or not, but I know I'm going to do my best." Leia said. All of her friends, even Bianca, nodded. She saw Uncle Jason smile as he stabbed a piece of steak.
Soon, dinner was over, without any of them saying much. She scurried to her cabin to get ready for bed, because she didn't want to sleep in. Then, after brushing her teeth and burying under her covers, she fell asleep.
And, as usual, dreams found her.
A hopeless quest, my dear. A strange voice resonated through the darkness. Leia found herself in some type of room, with no light. The voice seemed to be coming out of the walls. However, it was unusually warm.
Do you not know that your father were nearly defeated by me?
Leia started to panic. Whoever this guy was, he didn't sound good. She sprinted in a random direction and crashed into the wall. Stumbling away, her breath came in short gasps. Who was this?
You will find out soon enough. A deep laugh throbbed through the room. The sound of it made Leia feel sick. Soon.
She woke in a cold sweat, feeling like she was about to burst. That was just a dream, right? It didn't mean it had to be true. But it felt so real, so...
Leia tried hard not to think about it. Sunlight filtered in through the window shades. She threw off the covers and quickly changed. Another day of training. She groaned and grabbed her pen from under her pillow. How would she survive another day of it?
Suddenly, something rustled in the bunk above her. Startled, Leia uncapped her pen and waited as it grew a Celestial bronze blade. When she looked up, her father turned over and began snoring again.
Sighing, she transformed her sword back into a pen and stuck it in her pocket. Her nerves were on edge today. She quietly slid outside and closed the door behind her, then ran to the mess hall. She would need food to get her strength--there was no way she would get through the day without some.
Leia quickly grabbed a plate and a fork and passed some pancakes onto her plate. Then she walked over to Bianca and began to eat, stuffing pancakes in her mouth and guzzling orange juice. Midway through her meal, she remembered to scrape some food into the bronze brazier for the gods--wonder why they like the smell of burnt food, she thought, but she obliged. Then she quickly returned to her breakfast.
Once she was done, she discarded her plate and fork and charged to the arena. She had to train as much as she could for the next two days, in order to be ready for the quest. A few yards away, she spotted her mother giving a few experimental jabs with her sword. Leia sighed and reached the arena, uncapping her pen.
"Okay! Now, let's get to work on your defense..."
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Heya! I'll get straight to things you could improve, though there are not many.
Nice job, and keep writing!
She found that Annabeth usually made hand movements when she talked. Just when her mother had finished lecturing, Leia swung her weapon towards her mother's sword arm and tried to land a scratch.
I think she's too things are connected. Leia might realise that her mother's guard is down when she waves her hands about, so she takes advantage of that, etc. But the way you've written it, the two things don't seem connected. Because of this, the sentence about hand movements is a bit out of place. Try to reword it.
She scurried to her cabin to get ready for bed, because she didn't want to wake up late.
This is just a nitpick, but a better rewording would be: Because she didn't want to sleep in.
Do you not know that your father were nearly defeated by me?
Your father was nearly defeated by me.
Okay, now onto things which stood out to me.
My favourite thing was the way you transitioned from waking life to the dream world. And, as usual, dreams found her. This sentence was short and sweet, and clearly informed me that the next scene would take place in a dream.
Now he grinned, a real one. "Let me show you." He uncapped the pen and Leia watched in awe as it expanded into a sword, just like her own weapon. Her father fingered the grip lovingly. It was quite a surprise to find out that Leia didn't know about the pen-sword after all those years, but still understandable. It's good how you write scenes which refer back to specific elements of the original books.
The end of the chapter was also great. It seems like what could be the end of a television episode. Cue the end music.
Hey there, yizhongt here to leave a review. I really liked this chapter of your story, and even though I have not read the previous chapters, I can say you have a really good piece of work in your hand. I will definitely check out the other chapters when I have the time.
What I loved about this chapter is the interaction between mother and daughter as they trained. It was beautifully written and well described. I could vividly imagine the entire scene play in my head. I also love the fact that 'pens' are actually swords or rather can become swords. Really like that.
On another note, I'll definitely check any future chapters to find out who was the person in Leia's dream. It has piqued my interest
That's all for now. You have a good story on hand, there are no grammar or spelling mistakes and the interactions between the characters have been brilliantly written. Keep writing !