This is Kaos here, jumping in for a review!
At first I thought that this was a crossover with Star Wars and Percy Jackson and I found out that it was just a Percy Jackson fanfiction soon enough. Jumping straight into this chapter, it's quite short which is something that I don't mind. We see that this is mostly dialogue between the characters and that it's more of a calmer chapter and the aftermath rather than having some action scene. I enjoyed that about it and it does well at being a calmer chapter though I didn't really feel that too much of the plot progressed throughout the chapter.
The pacing of this chapter is something that I disliked as we go from Hades to them already getting back to the camp and the pacing did feel fast in that way. I would have liked to see more from when they actually got back to the camp, or perhaps that goes on in the next chapter. The Hades scene also felt a little abrupt in that we don't really get anything outside of the dialogue.
I suggest adding in descriptions and imagery that are atmospheric and describe the surroundings. I would also suggest adding more than just dialogue tags and making your characters more than just talking heads which is something that you start to do but I would like to note that body language is a big part of communication and it's more than just verbal communication. The dialogue isn't something that I really minded and it fits that it's Percy Jackson fanfiction (I've read the books, not the most fond of them ever), it's light like it should be though.
I hope I helped and have a great day!
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
Donate