"Silena!" Leia cried, groping in the darkness for her friend's hand. "Bianca!"
As far as she could tell, she was alone. But that was impossible. She had been with her friends a minute before. And why wasn't anyone else panicking? What was happening? Leia shuddered in fear. This wasn't like anything else she'd imagined. Of course, her parents' friend Mr. Underwood had told her long ago that all rational creatures feared the dark. But this darkness was blacker than anything. If a squid had ejected a cloud of ink at midnight during a South Pole winter, it wouldn't have been as black as this.
In other words, it was dark.
Leia took a deep breath to calm herself. It was no use panicking over the loss of her friends. Sure, they could've magically disappeared. But chances were that they were all in the same situation. If she got rid of this darkness, they would come back.
But how?
Then she felt a rush of cold air beside her, and she somehow sensed a hand reaching for her arm. With a shriek, she leaped back and ducked, feeling a whoosh above where her head had just been. She would have to play smart in here to get out. After she did, maybe she could help her friends. Being the granddaughter of the wisdom goddess, this should come naturally to her.
So what battled darkness? Light. Leia had none available. The closest she could come to was fire, and only Festus had that. How could she reach him if they were all isolated? Hephaestus might've been Athena's somewhat half-brother, but it wasn't as if they were telepathic, was it?
Hi, said a voice inside her head.
Silena? thought Leia. How are you--
Bianca talked to me, Leia heard. I guess being the granddaughters of the primordial gods... we're stronger?
Sammy wouldn't like that, she noted. She felt a slight shaking in her head, as if Silena was laughing. Slowly, Leia began to feel more comfortable in the darkness. She felt as if she could see some of her friends standing there, but that couldn't have been possible.
Then, before she could warn Silena about Erebos trying to grab her, she heard a scream that was abruptly cut off. Her heart began to beat faster. That meant one of her friends was in trouble.. but why hadn't she heard them before? Perhaps the telepathy helped it?
Bianca! she yelled inside her mind. Immediately, she responded.
Yes? she asked, somehow staying calm.
Keep talking! Listen--Erebos is trying to grab us. He probably took Silena just then. Keep talking.
You said that, Bianca replied, but Leia thought it was just to keep the conversation going. Why can't we reach the others?
The same reason that we're able to move, Leia said. There was a small stretch of silence.
But we've got to help them! cried Bianca. Then, as if on cue, Leia instinctively ducked as a hand whisked by her shoulder. A growl of frustration, then silence. Leia thought she could see Bianca now.
Keep up a consistent chant, she told her friend. Like this: Bianca Bianca Bianca Bianca...
In a monotonous tone, Leia heard her name being repeated over and over. Slowly, the cavern lightened until she could see Festus and Sammy, still frozen.
Then the darkness faded away and Erebos appeared in front of them, holding Silena.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Greetings, oh lady Artemis. *bows*
Good job on another great chapter.
"Silena!" Leia cried, groping in the darkness for her friend's hand. "Bianca!"
Don't feel discouraged that I'm beginning this with a nitpick, I just like to mention things in the order they appear. Since both Silena and Bianca are mentioned, I think it would sound better if she groped for both their hands. So darkness for her friends' hands. Just because there's no reason for there being a higher chance of Silena's hand being there than Bianca's, when she's got no idea where either of them are. Does that make sense?
If a squid had ejected a cloud of ink at midnight during a South Pole winter, it wouldn't have been as black as this.
I love this bit- I love the whole paragraph, actually. It's beautifully descriptive and gives the reader a welcomed look into Leia's mind and also her past. What was even more welcomed was the way you followed the paragraph with a slightly 'sarcastic' sentence very typical of a Riordan story: In other words, it was dark..
The telepathic communication between Leia and Bianca was well done. It wasn't hard to differentiate between who was talking at which times.
You finished on a cliff-hanger again! Just like Uncle Rick.
the story was short but amazing. it left me in suspense . it had me wondering what would happen next?? even though i havent read the other chapters, this piece would of course make me go back and read every single piece that you have written in this novel. your characters are well put together and you can really understand why the act a certain way. this chapter is well put together which makes me love this story even more. i cant wait to read the continuation of how this story goes. i expect a fight to happen but you are so good at creating suspense in your stories that it has me wondering if it will play out the way i expect it to.