her journals are stacked on the windowsill
her trinkets on a shelf
her makeup on the stool
her drinks are on her desk
her voices are under her bed
her friends are in her mind
her skeletons on the floor
her life's in the closet
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she writes about hate
she lets her trinkets tell a story
she paints the makeup on her heart
she uses the drinks to forgive herself
she listens to the voices for comfort
she get's migraines from her friends
she carries the skeletons around
she wants to die in her closet
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139,864 Literary Works • 672,779 Reviews
And here we go again blah blah blah Review Day Team WHY? Kat
Wow this has to be one of the best things I have read today . People see this girl one way when she is really another, just a shell . I feel like this sometimes, it's hard . I thought it was interesting how instead of saying skeletons in her closet you said on her floor. Why did you do this instead of saying her life was on the floor and skeletons were in her closet ? It's a pretty sad yet realistic poem you have here . This time no punctuation nit picks, this one is fine . After reading this I toot the time to compare the first line of the second stanza with the first line of the first stanza and so on and I love hen I can do that in poems especially here when you realize that you can't take everything at face value. It's sad that people feel so overwhelmed by their friends and society and school and you write about some really deep but relate-able stuff. Really and truly, just wow.
~Kat
Hello!
Happy Review Day!
I'm ILoveBooks! Ready for Reviewing!
Okay wow. This is super depressing. I dont know if you are trying to dedicate this to someone else but this is a good one even though its super depressing. It tells the feelings really good. I like how you describe the girls life. I think this girl is an introvert person? Yep, Like that.
I think the girl is having a bad experience and is fighting depression and her life. Like she want to do suicidal. Or thinking of suicidal. There's a lot of meaning. It super touching and all stuff. I once experience this but I didn't think of dying. I just think of myself that people always taking advantage of me and I have to change myself to another person. It's like that. But whatever. Enough with my experience.
The first part of the poem is well descripted and the second was really super depressing and sad and touching. It's like she dont know where she gonna put herself into or who she's gonna listen to.
I want to suggest is write it in a narrative form. And always the first letter of the first word should be capitalized. I dont know if that's how you want to write but it just a suggestion.
Anyway overall I like it. Keep this up!
-ILoveBooks123
hi!Lylas!!!you are writing good works.it is really a thing which i should appreciate.the poem is medium size but it conveys all the important feelings in such a beautiful manner.it is best explained that "Her" life is in the closet and "She" dies in th closet.there is something in the closet which is so precious for "Her".
well eros likes your work .it is little touching.
Well, that was depressing. :p
hello! here's my review.
the starting line about journals says a lot about about her character. he poem as a whole describes emotions of an introverted girl who is fighting depression. the description of the room is meaningful as it tells about what stuff she considers important to her like her journals, and makeup.. and how she uses that stuff is explained beautifully. although the other half of the poem is truly sentimental and sad. seemed like the girl is seeking approval from others but shes not getting it. its relateable
Hey! This is pretty nice, although I would develop it more to give it more of a narrative feel
I like your writing style!