Misunderstood,
as some fearsome creature.
A speedy monster.
A ruthless raptor.
A victim of false marketing.
I am not even that big.
They portrayed me all wrong.
I am small, cute and cuddly,
not a beast that runs around
and kills children.
Children are cool.
I just want to hug chickens.
Taste ketchup.
Hallucinate about snails.
Get a job.
Kick a Protoceratops.
Lick a balloon.
Date a baboon. What? No.
Eating excessive ketchup.
Ketchup is life.
Ketchup.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Awesome poem and I happen to love velociraptors! Also the ketchup part was funny I wasn't expecting that!
Wow. This......was........HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! I loved this so much, so much that I just want to go outside and scream this poem till I have not another breath inside of me!! It is so AMAZING, and FUNNY, and *slaps self* thanks, I needed that. It was an AWESOME poem. (I know I've said that a lot, but it is!!!) By the way.... Children are cool, and Ketchup most definetely is life. XD
Sorry I couldn't give you any helpful hints or anything, except for this- KEEP WRITING!!!
-SnazzyPencil
This was hilarious!
I loved the way you portrayed this so called 'monster' dinosaur to be just a misunderstood buddy!
And ketchup? Oh dear, you killed me.
That part was just SO FUNNY!
I enjoyed your style of writing!
The line-
"A victim of false marketing"
- was so apt!
"I am small, cute and cuddly,
not a beast that runs around
and kills children.
Children are cool."
Yeah...you succeeded, I definitely want a velociraptor best friend right now!
Only one thing, you could have maybe capitalized the first letters of your heading.
And whenever you are free, do read and review my new poem - Confessions of a Teenage Know-It-All
Keep writing!
That was great! I thought the part about ketchup was especially hilarious. Ketchup is life! Ketchup is life! I think I'll start worshiping ketchup.
Not exactly sure how I'm supposed to make a 1,000 wrd review for this but I'll give it a shot. From what I've read you have quite the imagination. A beast with strives to live a life of human wants and understandings. I have some wonderings. You call it small, cute and cuddly but have nothing to back that up. If this creature really wanted to be understood wouldn't you write something in this that would make the reader go for it? I also feel the bit about false marketing can be done without. Why does this creature find children to be cool? The last bit is just randomness that has no direction or sense. You really might have been able to make this a believeable bit of fiction had you taken it more seriously. Most of this reading is just going to have readers leaving and not posting a comment.
What type of job would this creature have?!?!?! Sorry is just baffles me that it could. If you'd really wanted this to be taken as a serious piece you should have done better to make it flow and keep the readers attention. Now I'm no poetry expert but I can spot a piece that the writers put their heart into and I don't get that from this. This piece didn't have any need to be steered in so many directions, it was just so completely unnessassry honestly. A name for this creature might make an impact but I can't promise that. My impression of poetry not so much your piece but poetry in general is that it's meant to reflect the emotions that beat in ones heart. I say work harder on your writing and perhaps I'll read more in the future.
Greetings ehte92!!
What the heck?! This is probably the most random poem I've ever read! It's so random it scary.
But, never mind that. It is time I get to the review.
Firstly, grammar. Yes, yes, I know this a free verse poem, and the verse lengths and whatnot don't have to be consistent, but PLEASE try and accumalate somr sense of rhythm. Rhythm just nakes a poem THAT much more interesting to read. The main culprit of rhythm ruining (alliteration baby!!) has to be your excessive desire to use multiple punctuation marks. Because of the fact that this is a poem, I would adise you to remove unneccesary fullstops and commas, as that is the way of mpst poems. Grammar mark: 1.5/3.
Vocabulary. Quite satisfactory to my liking. I'm not going to elaborate on why it is satisfactory, but well done. 2/3.
And now we get to the content. As I was reafing the first stanza, I thought "okay, this seems quite normal and interesting", but as I got to stanza two, the "normal" was replaced by weird.
But then I saw the final stanza, and replaced the "weird" with "crazy with a strange obession with ketchup".
Yet you made me enjoy the poem with your quirkiness. Content: 3.5/4
This was a interesting poem, and told me a lot about your personality. I therefore rte this poem 7 out of ten. Congratulations.
Sincerely (and a little bit freaked out),
The Wandering Wizard
P.S. Why on earth would you want to lick a balloon and then start to date it?
It said date a baboon, Wizard!
Sorry for this super random and late reply