the angel

by ehte92

Published August 27, 2014

12+

In Drawings and sketches... ^_^

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Cold.
Everything is so cold.
I have never felt so cold before.
I don’t even remember feeling anything
for past few days.
Maybe my senses are back in order.
Maybe I might survive this world after all.
Maybe the angel has finally called upon me.

I feel someone lurking around
Rustling behind my back
Humming a sweet melody of another world
I can feel its breath on my neck,
even its breath is cold, my bones shivering

A peck of its darkness on my pale cheeks
A touch of its luminous essence giving me goosebumps
I have never wanted someone closer to me
Touching me like no one has ever done before
The cold providing the warmth that even the sun couldn't
And finally when I was about to sink into its dark embrace
It lets me go leaving me like I was no more wanted

I can’t feel anything anymore,
my body falls numb, unattractive, unresponsive.
Everything is shutting down.
I finally learn the meaning of death.
Its a beautiful thing.

In between all of this,
all I could think of are these words
“Death makes angels of us all
and gives us wings
where we had shoulders
smooth as raven's
claws”

Comments & reviews · 4
thePoeToaster43 wrote a review Review · Aug 31, 2014

Despite the fact that this is a beautiful thing to write about, I can't really see it as a poem.

I kind of see it as a nice, quick story.

Not that it's a bad piece, I just don't feel it. But that in no way means this is bad!!! I like it, I'm just not connecting well with it. It may even be a person preference issue.

Sorry, if I came off harsh. Again, it's probably just me. It may just be the fact that, this simply isn't my style of poetry.

But good job either way.

Good Luck To You.

Random avatar
Fatima
Comment
Fatima commented Comment · Aug 28, 2014

Heyy!!

This has been a true pleasure to read :3.

" I can’t feel anything anymore,
my body falls numb, unattractive, unresponsive.
Everything is shutting down.
I finally learn the meaning of death.
Its a beautiful thing. "

I love this paragraph. Seems really heartfelt. Suicidal much, ehte?? And great use of line separation. Hoping to read more from you soon xD.

User avatar
TheSybarite
Review
TheSybarite wrote a review Review · Aug 27, 2014

Hey...!
I absolutely loved it! It was amazing. You've got an amazing way with words. The poem spoke out to me, I could feel every thing you described in here, and as a writer I think it is a big accomplishment! So great work there. Your description of the poem is great- it really catches eye and makes one so interested that you just gotta read it! (It was the description that made me click on this piece, I almost scrolled past it otherwise!) All- in- all, great work!
Keep writing...(and keep listening to Jim Morrison!)
Cheers!

User avatar
brielle
Review
brielle wrote a review Review · Aug 27, 2014

This is pretty Good. "In between all of this,
all I could think of are these words
“Death makes angels of us all
and gives us wings
where we had shoulders
smooth as raven's
claws”...
I thought that was just amazing, i have the Chills going down my spine. Very Desricption in your poem and Very pretty words. One thing i have to ask Why is the tittle named ANGEL. I get the fact of the angel there and all. You should keep the name angel but add somthing else with Angel. Like Wings or Changing or something. but i realy like this just keep up the good work!



Excuse me I have never *lied* about a character I just don't tell the truth
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