REDACTED

Hello, rhia here to review.

I'll focus on nitpicks, grammar, and sentence correction first, as I read through this.

She buried her face in his chest, smelling his sweet nerdy sent.

At that very second the boat was fully submerged, sinking into the vast ocean just at that second.

“Don’t cry darling you have no need to cry. You’re safe here now.” He said kissing the top of your head.

She had long dark blonde hair that went down to her shoulders, a t-shirt that was soaked and slightly opaque and she had black skinny jeans on.

He fumbled around and found a torch and then picked up the bag full of supplies containing;

two blankets, one bottle of water, 8 ration packs, two glow sticks as well as a flare gun.

“I like you a lot more than a sister.” He said sounding flustered.

Sarah shrieked and fell back into Ali. He grinned and pulled Sarah onto his lap, holding her tightly. She screamed and melted into his arms, holding him.

They said had been getting rougher

This part was absolutely has great detailing!!
''She felt the water rush around her body as the boat sunk in to the jaws of the South Pacific Ocean." Pictured it so well in my head.
The plot is crazy, very dramatic and omg depressing.
Your story is full dialogue and I disagree it needs all that, sorry. I believe showing than dialogue is more important.

I think there can be more detailing on the scene of this incident:
"Before Jack could reply there was a huge tremor and an explosion. "
What exactly is a nerdy scent?

1. sent-should be scent
2. He said kissing the top of {your} head.- it should be {her} head.
3. I thought they were on a boat, not a plane. That part seems to be unclear. Because their on boat and than it explodes and its falling apart and when she wakes up they tell her it was a plane crash?

Omg Jack's a fucking whore! lol omg he kissed Ali to make her stay and than Sarah forgives him? Oh no Sarah, were going to have some problems. I bet Jack does that often!
When I read that part I got so angry, she's so gullible and naïve and she's like every teen. Inlove and dumb.
Great dramatic plot, I was intrigued.

Hey, Huda here for a review.
I'm making pointers so that it may be easy to understand. The story, in general, was good but there are a few errors I would like to highlight:
1) In the first paragraph's line 5, there should be a comma after after shut.
2) 'Ali nodded and Sarah grabbed the one he was holding, he through one over to Ali'. This is what you've written. Here, you've written wrong word, it must me threw not through.
3) They are many punctuation errors in your writing.
4) I really wonder why you've made too many paragraphs. If we take a closer look, we find that you have written merely two or three sentences as a paragraph and then again you've started a new one. This breaks the flow a lot, consider fixing it.
4) Instead of describing a person in sex,age and appearance order, try to write anything special about them. Like you can describe that the girl had a pointy nose or whatsoever, instead of penning down her whole physical appearance.
5) In my view, you have confused your readers in an attempt of twisting your plot.
6) The events in your story seem hushed. Take your time to describe every event appropriately so that the reader does not think that you're overloading the story with events without giving them a proper space in story.
Lastly, I would appreciate your attempt. I mean it was much better than mine's. The words you've used are good and enhance the beauty of this piece of writing. This story shows that you do have skills to write and a very good grasp on words, all you need is a bit of polishing before you shine. I hope that my review helps you. Don't get disappointed because unless you are not aware of where you lack, you cannot achieve success. Keep writing! I'l surely be reading your next stories.