Preying on the dreams of others
sucking her victims dry.
I love her
she hates me.
My siblings are confused.
I work for her, she screams and shouts
kills another hope.
A hope of love
of peace.
There is no hope with mother.
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139,876 Literary Works • 672,707 Reviews
Okay, so overall I actually really liked the poem! I would like elaboration on the "confused siblings" bit. They could be confused for a plethora of reasons - why mother hates them all, why mother hates the narrator, why the peas are in the mashed potatoes, how the leopard got its spots, etc. Mostly the first two, not to say they couldn't be confused by the other two, but the first two are the most relevant. As for your inspiration for the poem, that book is so sad. :/ Glad it's not personal experience, though.
Hope I helped!
>>Annie<<
This poem came from me reading a Child Called It
In my esteemed opinion fiction903 is full of beans. This poem was scary without talking of death. It was sad without talking of heartbreak. Wow.
Your poem is ok.I have a few suggestions for you...
I think you might want to say "my siblings are confused".
" I work for her as she screams and shouts".
It might sound better if you say "killing another hope of love and peace".
I think your piece belongs in dramatic poetry not other poetry.
I think you made a good start on a free verse poem.
Hopefully my revisions help. Have a great night. Fiction