I am dancing on your grave
twirling a ribbon over cold corpse
Tears fall from others eyes
I smile and laugh
Why cry when you are happy?
You left the struggles and worries of people
In to a bliss full sleep
I laugh and wave bye to the sky
bye to you.
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141,944 Literary Works • 676,125 Reviews
Beautiful poem. Blissful Goodbye. Love it! =D
One thing I really liked about this poem is that it can be taken from different perspectives. First of all: it could be interpreted as a deep hatred of the one who has died -
Or it could be interpreted as someone you love possibly. Or the freedom of the death of the person form the struggles and worries of this life -
I have a few things to pick about it myself. Firstly:
of people spacing is wrong, just one space needed.
The sentence feels a little short
I also think it would be nice to have the lines rhyme but that is just down to personal taste
She is happy for the person who died that he gets to be free
Hello, dasiamari! Jash here to review this morning (it's midnight. =) )
okaaay, comments in pinkish font.
I don't really understand if the narrator's happy about the death, or he or she is happy for the dead who died, or I just don't understand 'cause it's midnight, but there seems to be something that is missing. Sorry if I can't point that out. Though I hope I helped, Keep writing!
This is gruesome. But in a good way. The speaker of the poem has a strong hate for someone, obviously. I wish there was more. Why do you hate this person? How did they die, why are the gone? Don't leave the reader with too many questions, just a couple is good. There is so much more that you could add to this.