--BONUS— (Part 6/5)
Two years had passed. One chilly afternoon in February, I was strolling through the city streets when I passed by a familiar alley. Immediately, I quickened my pace and looked away; I didn’t want to be anywhere near that place. Ever again.
And yet, my feet ended up dragging back towards that alley anyway.
A part of me wanted to know – to check if it was there again.
I’d never seen Laza’veya again after that fateful day. I tried to dismiss the idea that it might still be alive. No, surely after time unfroze, the barrier must’ve returned and destroyed Laza’veya, too – even if that hadn’t been the case before…
Laza’veya did seem more powerful than the shadow creatures, though, I’d pondered once. But the last few times I’d checked, it wasn’t in the alley anymore.
This time was no different. I stood alone, and the alley was as cold, quiet, and desolate as ever – and brought back too many memories. Gloomily, I rubbed my arms to fend off the aching cold.
I should leave, I thought, hoisting my backpack further up my shoulder. My parents were probably waiting at home.
I turned and walked away – yet after just a few steps, I froze.
The air suddenly felt tense, as if charged with electricity. Every hair on the back of my neck stood on end. My heart began to pound.
I-it can’t be. The only time I’d felt this before was when I’d sensed Laza’veya’s presence. And right now, I could sense it nearby.
I whirled around. Nobody. But if I paid closer attention, it felt like the presence had shifted and was moving away…
A mix of desperation and rage overwhelmed me. I dashed forward, right towards it-
“Ow!”
“What the-?!”
…And crashed into two human beings instead.
I jolted back, looking up in alarm, as the strangers seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
A girl with auburn hair tied back into a ponytail stood closest to me. She was only a few inches taller, with pearl earrings and a smatter of freckles across her nose. The girl glanced back at me, alarmed… Then she vanished.
“Al, what was that?” Suddenly, her voice came from the opposite end of the alley. I spun around, shocked, and there she was.
“Seriously, what was that?! How did you mess up?” She was face-palming, talking to the other person I’d crashed into – a shorter boy with dark hair. “You had only one job!”
I looked above her, and realized there were two others in the low window of the building. One appeared like a little child, sitting on the windowsill with her legs dangling in the air. The other was an older girl, standing back in the shadows. I didn’t remember seeing them there before.
The little girl frowned, playing with some metallic toy on her lap. However, her eyes didn’t follow her hands’ movements.
“Al. You really did screw up this time,” she agreed glumly.
My heart took a plunge. Who are these people? Now they were surrounding me, staring like I was the odd one out.
“No, wait,” The boy called “Al” argued. “She knew we were here.”
He eyed me with suspicion – which was ironic, since he was the one dressed uniquely. His clothes were baggy and dark from top to bottom. A black hat sat on top of his head, adding to his (short) height, and he wore a mask that covered half his face. He looked like a kid’s attempt at dressing up for Halloween.
He noticed me staring and raised an arm a little, as if to hide himself.
“Hey,” The boy muttered uncomfortably, his voice muffled by the mask. “Stop staring like that.”
“Oh… sorry.” I was about to look away, but just then, my eyes moved to what he was holding, and I gasped.
He was holding something like a birdcage in his right hand, but it was horribly damaged and disfigured. A floating blue light was inside – Laza’veya.
“You!” I blurted. Immediately, I felt the strangers’ eyes on me.
“Laza’veya, you know her?” the boy asked, giving the cage a tiny swing. The light flashed and glimmered angrily.
“Know.” It said monotonously. “Know. Know. Know…”
I could hear different voices inside it again, a wave of murmurs swelling. Finally, it settled on one voice to use.
“Yes, I know her.”
To my own surprise, a zap of anger ran through me, momentarily drowning my fears. I balled my hands into fists, resisting the urge to run at it, kick it – anything. That thing is the reason Lina’s dead.
I desperately hoped these people weren’t on Laza’veya’s side.
The first girl suddenly appeared in front of me again, next to “Al.” Teleportation, I realized. And for the boy, maybe his power was invisibility.
“I guess it’s possible,” the girl remarked with a shrug. “Considering how she can see us now, it’s likely that she met Laza’veya before, too.
“Maybe.” Her friend trailed off. He took an uneasy step back as if he’d briefly sensed my anger.
“Laza’veya is a stubborn one,” the teleport-girl continued, glaring in Laza’veya’s direction. “It survived the barrier, and it’s escaped from us multiple times.” She glanced at me. “I bet if we were any later to catch it, it would’ve broken out of the cage, too.”
That finally caught my attention. “You guys are catching Laza’veya? But who even are you?”
They fell into a brief silence, during which their eyes went to the eldest girl who hadn’t yet spoken.
“You can tell her,” she called out with a shrug.
“Well, my name’s Kiera,” the first girl answered hesitantly, her ponytail swishing as she moved around. “And this guy’s Allen, but you can call him Al.” She didn’t mention the other two in the building. “We’re only telling you this because you seem to be…in the same boat as us.”
“As in, you have powers,” Allen said warily. “That’s how you found us, right?”
“Well…” I frowned.
“Name. Age. Occupation. Power,” he demanded all at once. “And your reason for being here. Please.”
They paused, both awaiting my answers. Their eyes were dark with suspicion.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Oh man! Bonus content; I'm so in.

Hahaha those first few sentences rang so true to me as someone who has a bit of PTSD from an intersection where I got in a T-bone accident. Even now, 5 years later, when I go on the road I still feel slightly apprehensive about the whole thing. But you gotta push through!
This is a fun little addition. I assumed there were others out there, but it seems the powers aren't just related to time as I first expected. I think that this is your strongest piece when it comes to prose+dialogue all in one. It flows as smoothly as before, but you manage to get some more setting description in without bogging it down. You also managed to give enough personality to your characters to make me want to invest in them in the next part. I hope we get to learn more of why these bird cages are necessary for harnessing Laza-veya - I assumed when you said it was silver that there's an elemental or magical barrier created by it, so I guess we'll see.
On constructive notes, how Al and Kiera showed up was sort of confusing to follow. Obviously, it was also disorientating for Sarah lol but maybe adding some sound effects to their powers were help cue us in, such as wind rushing when she teleports. For Al, I didn't even realize we were supposed to get the he was invisible. Moving on to Bonus part 2
~Messy
Hiya! Orabella, here with a review.
More people with powers? Lina and Sara weren't the only ones? Well, I guess I probably could've predicted this, but I didn't even expect an extra story. What nice pleasant surprises!
I wonder who those other two are? Do they have powers just like the rest? Or maybe they're enemies working for Laza'veya. This is making me more and more excited for the last part.
Looks like Laza'veya has caused chaos with more than just Lina and Sara. I guess no one else knows what a sacrifice she made, as it's not like it was obvious when the world was coming to an end. Perhaps, though, these other kids know about it, as they have powers as well?
Why did Al and Kiera wait so long to get Laza'veya? If it's been two years, how come they didn't come and get it sooner?
Also, is Sara going to tell the truth? Al is demanding for information about her, and she almost seems reluctant to give them. Maybe she will freeze time so she can get away? And maybe when she does make time stop, the others will still be able to move somehow, maybe because they have powers, and so it won't work?
I'm so happy there's more. I love this story, and I'm so glad you're continuing it!
Keep writing!
Well well! It looks like we had the same thing in mind for that last bit from chapter 5. Of course a sequel or a redemption arch was in store. So I hope this is it! Once again, the alpaca has barged through your work sitting sad in the Green Room. Wohoo! I'm back to reviewing again after a few days. Man, school is something else...
The numbing pain of guilt and grief is something that many writers love to write about. This is a great way of showing how our protagonist still mourns her sister's death and feels guilty for having part in it.
For someone who hasn't used her powers in two years, her powers are still as sharp as an arrow!
Oh wait what how...ah?
Yup. Rage time. I wouldn't be able to control myself. Probably
I wonder how this would go! I want to seem them friends though since there's few people in that world with powers I believe. And I want to see them go on an adventure to stop these strange monsters once and for all.
Overall, I can't wait to see what happens next! Will they form a group of superheroes who will protect the universe from entities such as Laza'veya?
This is alpacaboss, signing off.