Yet, When, If

hi cherie! I loved your thoughtfully-written poem; here for a short review in which I probably don't offer much but anyways:
Loved<3<3:
- The structure, specifically the indentations going back and forth. I feel like it better mimics the speaker's flow of thought and the listing of different pieces of imagery.
- the alliteration: Ok so maybe I'm kinda over-exaggerating this, and I know you technically need 3 words for it to qualify as allierations buttttt: 'chattering' and 'children', 'during' and 'dull', 'pinch' and 'pulses'. Even if it wasn't intentional, I enjoyed it
- the imagery !!! Surely this is the best part, as my fellow reviewers mentioned! The TV commercials, kids in a mini-van, the passion of a saint (hmmm I'm not sure if this one is imagery or something else)---it all painted vivid pictures in the reader's mind!
- the diction, strong word choice! I especially loved the words "untamed" and "pulses" and how great they were in the specific contexts. Particularly "untamed," as I felt that's such an accurate, all-encompassing way to describe young children, and how they roam free physically and mentally without judging and worrying about societal standards/expectations as much as we often do when we grow up.

Honestly, don't have any tips, except that I feel like a comma at the end of certain lines would be fitting, like if you added one at the end of the first line, and at the end of the second-to-last line, to name a few places. However, that may also just be the style of writing you use to convey your message, which is of course fine and unique

keep writing & God bless!

Hey there, JMBM back with a mini-review.

So, your poem, the way I understand it, is about your desire for pregnancy with the accompanying fear that surfaces on that last stanza. The structure is particularly telling in this work. In the first paragraph there are lots of phrases connoting passion: 'more than I ... should'; 'chattering'; 'untamed'. This gives us a sense of excess? Like an overflow of this intense feeling of desire. Then it segues into the religious reference, how it's a spiritual holy wanting. But you still haven't told us what 'it' is - talking about yearning without saying what you're talking about reflecting how you're both obsessing over it and afraid of it.

Assonance creates rhythm in the penultimate stanza, emphasising how constant and throbbing the wish is.

Repeatedly starting the lines with 'no', for a different meaning the third time round, is a nice twist where we see the complexity that was underlying all along

Here's what got me on the second read: the title doesn't seem to fit with most of the work; I guess 'it hits me' is referring to the realisation that you are afraid of getting your wish?

Anyhow. That's it for tonight, have a good one!

I’m just gonna immediately say I’m in no position to write a review (relating to my, probably not so good, talents for writing) but regardless I feel like it, and it gives me points or whatever I’ve always preferred the style of poetry that does not limit itself to rhymes. Maybe less impact but I think it’s more genuine in some way. You’ve utilized imagery which tells me a conflicting story. I like it. And the way you’ve separated the stanzas is cool. Not much of a review this really but your writing is nice either way. Well done

it really does hit