Thank you, my dear,
I appreciate it, my dear,
Oh please, my dear,
It is all lies.
I am not another pretty face,
And words still hurt me.
There is sorrow,
There is pain,
And, yes, my dear,
There is suffering.
Thank you, my dear,
For telling me.
I had noticed.
But you had not.
What is the world to you, my dear?
Let’s escape away,
My dear,
There is no need to stay.
What holds us here, my dear?
Leave with me.
Thank you, my dear,
For the stab in the back,
And the long incision
Where the knife belongs.
I knew already, my dear,
Don’t feel remorse.
I don’t blame you,
There is no need.
A time ago, I might have turned
And pretended not to see.
But my eyes opened, my dear,
And I burn inside,
A secret wish,
To close them off again.
What has happened, my dear?
Where have you gone?
Thank you, my dear,
For the secret roses
Left in the dark
On a moonless night.
No one gave me flowers before.
I noticed, my dear,
I must have repulsed you,
I noticed, my dear,
That you did not attend.
What is Poe’s “Tell-Tale Heart” to you,
Is that what I am?
A thump in your mind,
To drive you insane,
Like me?
The roses are beautiful, my dear,
Black,
Like you,
Against the gray granite.
It is cold, my dear,
But I do not fear.
Thank you, my dear,
But I ask you again,
What is the world to you?
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139,398 Literary Works • 672,547 Reviews
Amazing! I love the flow and how it's choppy ( in a good way.) It symbolizes the strife and insanity, confusion and pain that you further describe in your work. Be careful though, to not contradict yourself in the poem. I don't think it does but review it to make sure, there was a time or two through the first read that made me stop and question. Also, being REALLY nit picky....(meaning you did amazing and there isn't much to critique) is this:
"It is all lies."
this is grammatically wrong, as 'lies' is plural and 'is' supports singular. You can put "It is all A lie" or "they're all lies". Other then that, it's very moving. Great Poe reference. I'm a fan
It is a good piece.... I liked what you wanted to tell through your poem...
Imagery was good but could have been more better... Try to improve it...
To many repetitions... Try avoiding so many of "My Dear" if you read it loud it does not sound good...
All in all it was a good one...
Keep up the good work...
PM me for anything...
Well, since I am still new, my reviews stink, or at least in terms of correcting grammar and spelling, or else your just that good.
, I like this poem a lot, the imagery could've been a little stronger. The most vivid things I was unable to not imagine would be the knife, so it is up to you if you wish to improve the imagery, I don't know if there is something specific you want us to pick up on, but that part is strongest in my mind. Great poem, keep up the good work. Very deep.
I might suggest not capitalizing every letter at the beginning of each line, as you do often use punctuation.
It is something I do as well,
but, here I refrain.
Imprfect this line,
unlike your poem.
Very nice, felt I had to do the above
--ShadowKnight155