when we cry they die
ashamed of what they created...
but we cry an we fly
we fight and we die......
that's the way life turns we're all the same inside........
we are the children they created
left abandoned in these streets
they feed us these treats like we're dogs.......
branded with their poison
and left to be burned by the flames of darkness.......
those above us look at us like we are nuts
but they haven't seen the mirror recently.....
cause we're only stuck in the rut'z the created for us...
they pretend that they care
as we wear the fear an cry these tears
well it ain't fair
so fuck it this world of static I ain't a fanatic....
I'm estatic....
sitting in this attic as I panic wondering......
will I ever make a difference to the people they hurt.....
through these bars I see my city
and it's fallen apart....
they say I'm insane
out my brain I'm like a bullet train that can't be tamed...
I ain't ashamed I'll take the blame so what if I'm insane....
one more refill ain't gonna fix it...
mama what we feeding the children......
don't worry darling I'll get the trixen.....
mama I need another fixen...
wheres my other perscription...
I got three admitions....
so what if I'm pissed off
because I feel ripped off....
this world is a fake it's a druggers mistake....
(chorus) I'm gonna douse this world in gasoline..
strike a match I'm gonna watch it burn tonight..
.ash and flames ash and flames ash and flames....
I'm on top of the world tonight.... (end chorus)
how am I to save these kids?
am I alone in this mess?
so much distress...
please lay me to rest..
leave this world amiss...
I can't save it by myself...
I can't explain how many times I've died...
but I'll learn to fly ...
and when I do I swear I'll save a life...
(chorus)
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139,820 Literary Works • 672,772 Reviews
This sounds very depressing - wait don't go friend, I liked this and I'm not going to criticize it!! Don't get me wrong, I gravitate to these kinds of things. I remember my 7th grade math teacher called me a killjoy..ahh he was such an a-hole. But besides that, you managed to display these string feelings in either a rap or song or poem or however the best way to classify this is. I can totally see this as *makes vivid hand motions* somebody rapping this, like Eminem or Travis Scott or Wiz Khalifa. Except with more language. And slurs. And faster. Overall I find this intriguing and mind-bending. Like my mind is bent, ya know??
Oh mai gosh, okay Em you're just embarrassing yourself. Okay. *maintains composure* For the writing review, I saw this as children left to figure out the world and take care of their problems whilst their parents and family don't provide what's needed for the child/children. Strong and hardcore feelings were amalgamated with the final touch of this piece.
It sounds like the kids are left with anxiety (possibly) and depression and trust issues, like they don't know where to turn because they've got no one in this world to be there for 'em. Wow. You portrayed this in a beautiful work, and I hope my reviews don't sound biased but I rarely give out any bad reviews since I don't want to hurt someone's feelings or offend them with choice of words. I honestly was attracted to this piece and this is enrapturing. Hey, I used "rap" in that word!
Meanwhile you've done a pulchritudinous job of this. I love it, simply love it. Thank you so much for writing works such as these! I can't say how much I'm appreciative. Have a spectacularly evening!
~ E
Oh, and happy Father's Day!
I like these lyrics, they feel like they're written from the heart and are down-to-earth. I know the theme and lyrics are completely different, but I couldn't help but think of the song "Comet" by the Bouncing Souls, along with memories of Fight Club. I enjoyed reading these and I'd love to hear it being put to music sometime. Keep up the good work and don't stop writing!