You are in the lion's den
Sent by the king
Committed to faith
Where is the King?
The odyssey of theodicy
I am in the lion's den
Sent by a king as well
I eat faith at meal time
Who is this King you speak of?
Surviving because I am the king
We don't choose life
Life chooses us
You are not eating
I am the starving one
I haven't devoured you yet
Our encounters feed me more
What is this Dream, nay, nightmare
When will it end
You can see the Writing on the Wall
You are Daniel
I am the lion
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I thought it was really cleverly written.
'you can see the writing on the wall, you are daniel, I am the lion'
I thought that was an amazing line as well as an amazing metaphor.
(Note: I'm not usually one to do this, but I just thought I'd mention my favorite line from the poem)
Overall, it had a lot of meaning behind it, and that's something poetry readers love. Like all good poetry, it took a bit of thinking to decipher the message of this poem, and that's something I liked. It was a really cleverly written, well thought out, interesting love poem with a twist.
~Kristen~
P.S. Keep writing!
When I saw the title and description, I automatically thought, this has something to do with Daniel. I actually didn't realize who the narrator was until the last line, but I realize, obviously, it was the of-this-earth king who sent him down there as well.
Otherwise, I saw nothing at all technically wrong with this poem. It's really clever and well thought out. Keep up the fantastic work!
I like how there are allusions to multiple kinds of kings: The King of the entire universe Himself; the human king who sent Daniel to the lion's den; and of course, the proverbial king of the jungle, the lion.
Now, I saw one word that I'm not sure why it's capitalized, and that is "Dream" in the line " What is this Dream, nay, nightmare ". I think I know why you capitalized King in another instance.
Hey!
First thing i'd like to say is that i really like this poem, but i don't really know if i would have gotten the metaphor if you hadn't mentiones it before in the plot box. Unfortuently, i don't have any particular insight in how to make it more obvious but once i got that then i really enjoyed it.
My main criticism would be that the word King is repeated a lot, and because there are not clear stanzas it makes it slightly clunky to read. And i'm not really sure it is the best thing to choose, like when you say 'Surviving because i am the king' I feel as though maybe warrior or something like that would be a more suitable work choice.
Though i must say that your ending, is sublime. I love the whole tieing together and summarizing. I think they are quite powerful, and when understood in the metaphor in the poem are really excellent.
Hope this helps!
Thanks for a good read!
Retro