Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
I am not a novelty.
It's sad that we grab
Bright, thoughtful
Women with opinions
and drop them
in this category
called novel
What's new about them?
I am not a novelty.
Stop telling me you like me Boy,
because you're flirting
with the idea of Me
Of my resume, my profile, my features
Not qualities but
Aspects floating in the world of presentation.
I am not a novelty.
Boys sporting the feminist t-shirts:
Tell me how you really feel
Keep your fish eyes away
I am not a shiny watch
But you're wasting my time
I try things; to keep and open mind.
Why can't you do the same?
I am not a novelty.
All product descriptions
come with a warning:
I'm stubborn, impatient
An angry woman waiting
Optimistic but disappointed.
You're feeding the fire.
But you knew that, didn't you?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hi! I'm Xanthia and I've decided that this will be the first piece I'll review
Good job on the poem! I'll be sure to read more of your works.
I adore your first line. It goes straight to the point with a sort of...stern tone, I believe. It's like you were just stating a fact, rather than defending yourself.
"Tell me how you really feel
Keep your fish eyes away."
I read the above lines with an almost taunting voice, like when you're daring someone to do something, just so you can retaliate.
I liked the repetition of the line "I am not a novelty" because it emphasized the topic of the poem really well.
Things to improve on:
I think it'd be a good idea to read over the poem an correct any punctuation and capitalization errors. I understand that some of the caps were intentional, but others I didn't think fit too well.
That's all I had to say
-X
Hi! I'm alive and I'm here to review your poem
I noticed that some of the lines are capitalized and some are not, even some within the same sentences.
I think you should have a period after "keep your fish eyes away" and "but you're wasting my time"
Overall I like the poem because it is exactly how I feel sometimes. And I like how you ended with "but you knew that didn't you?" It seems like the perfect ending to the poem.
Good job!
~Alice
Well I forgot to click the review button, so this will show up as a comment, but I hope you still see it!
I really liked this poem! Just a few quick notes:
I did notice only one major grammar error, and it was in line 22. Also, did you mean to capitalize "boy"? Whether or not it was intentional, I suggest that you make it lowercase, merely because it distracts the reader from the poem. However, that all being said and done, I really loved the overall theme of the poem and the flow. I encourage you to continue writing, and I appreciate the general feminine rage-against-society feel. Women should not be categorized, even if the label is meant to be flattering.
Keep up the hard work, beccaliious94!
Sincerely,
Smanske15