Ah, have you too heard that knell?
When upon realization,
you found yourself sinking
into the hell of shadows.
When for once, your eyes
could not find the light.
You cry, “It's late, I suppose!”
…
You flicker a last wish to oppose
to end the deepening plight.
You remember the gorgeous skies,
and bless even your foes.
Its when you see them winking,
you get to know their optimization
when they had said, “All is Well”!
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Hey there, how's it going?
I hope you don't mind if I drop in real quick. I'm not one to review poetry that often, so apologies if my interpretation is off or I say anything horribly wrong. I'm only reviewing what I see. :p
Okay. So. This poem seems to be focusing on the last thoughts of a dying person. Said person thinks happy thoughts, blesses his foes, and then proceeds to see his foes! I do like how it ended on that, I'll admit. Suddenly, the speaker realizes what his foes meant when they said all was well, and unfortunately for him, he'll be spending an eternity with them. Ha. I love it.
A few things in this did puzzle me, however.
I liked how the first stanza read, but I thought the last line seemed a bit... off? A reviewer below me mentioned it and I have to agree I'm not entirely sure what it means. Late in life? Like, he's supposing that's why he's dying? Eeek. The "I suppose" part sounded a little funny to me. Is there another way the speaker can say this without sounding so casual?
It might just be me, but I thought this was a bit of a handful to read, due to the two to's.
Question: why only the gorgeous skies? There are many beautiful things and events in life, so why does the speaker only think fondly of gorgeous skies?
I like how the speaker blesses his foes, but I'm a bit confused as to why the "your" is italicized. Was he blessing other peoples foes, as well?
----
I do believe that is all I have for now. :]
Best of luck in all your writings!
~rosette <3
Wow! Is this E D G A R A L L E N P O E?? There is literally only one little tiny nit picky thing that I would change and that would be the line where you said,
"and bless even your foes."
Personally, I would italicize foes instead of your, but otherwise this poem rocks!
Thanx for your review!
Glad that you like it and I won't be clearing the confusion regarding the italicised 'you' as it tells me that I am somewhere lacking in providing my thoughts and will notify you when I am through updating this work.
Once again thanx and apologies for replying so late.
No problem!
HEYO!!! I am Liz!!! I am here for a short review!
"You cry, 'It's late, I suppose!'" -This part, I dont understand the meaning of this..... But hey, pretty much other than this, I think that your poem was great...
My favorite part is the following, because it puts an image inside my head, and it makes me smile, because it is a good picture, in my point of view...
"You flicker a last wish to oppose
to end the deepening plight.
You remember the gorgeous skies,
and bless even your foes.
Its when you see them winking,
you get to know their optimization
when they had said, 'All is Well'!"