All right, this part is way longer than the preface so hopefully more entertaining. Let me know whenever you feel like it is moving too fast or the characters are unrealistic.
Happy Reading! 
______________________
Part One
Veronica
I moved quickly through the halls, my eyes targeted on something some twenty paces in front of me. Before my hand could even outstretch to touch the dial, someone intercepted me. “Veronica!” Grinding my teeth, I forced a smile, turning to face Monica. “Hey, girl!” she shouted enthusiastically in that go-team-cheerleader voice she seemed to expel from her mouth every chance she got. She was dressed in our yellow and white uniforms with the words Randal Yellow Jackets printed in a neat font across the front.
“Hey, Monica,” I intoned; she frowned immediately in concern. Spinning away from her, I hoped to hide my expression but it seemed nothing escaped Monica’s intuitive nature.
“What’s up, Nia, girl?” Her dark brown locks swung coyly on the top of her head, trapped within the hair binder.
“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.” Shoving my books into the locker with a bit of exaggerated force, I slammed the locker behind me.
Monica narrowed her eyes at me. “If this is about Mike—“
“No, please, don’t even mention his name,” I growled, his name stinging my eardrums like an outspoken curse.
Monica groaned in annoyance. “Seriously, next time I see that boy, I’m punching his lights out.” I had to laugh at this piece of information. Monica was barely five-feet-tall with scrawny arms and a none-existent waist. She didn’t stand a chance against six-foot-four basketball captain Mike Putnam. “He is such a jerk,” Monica voiced loudly, gathering the attention of a few freshmen.
“It’s all right, Moe, I handled it.”
“I’m sorry, Nia, but knowing you, taking care of it means you just completely ignored him.”
“What else was I suppose to do?” I asked, a hint of desperation entering my voice. I needed help, I needed answers, and Moe was the only one that I could think of who would help.
“Are you asking me for relationship advice?” Her eyebrow raised in a sly expression, making me smile.
“If you want to call it that, than yes.”
“Well, hon, first, you have to kick that boy to the curb. You’re too good for him.”
“This wasn’t the advice I wanted, Moe,” I mumbled under my breath, rolling my eyes.
“You mean, you still want to keep dating that idiot?”
“Yeah,” I mumbled, hurrying down the stairs in hopes to ditch Monica in all the crowds.
No such luck.
“Nia, please don’t stay with him. All he does is put you down all the time. What did he say today?”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” I said firmly, making a crease form between my friend’s eyes.
“What did he say?” she repeated, eyes like daggers. Though Monica was small in stature, she had a supernatural ability that allowed her to get anything out of anybody.
I caved pretty easily. “That I was looking a little chubby and that I should go on a diet.” As I spoke, I look self-consciously down at my waist, tugging on the waistband of my jeans.
Monica looked furious. “Where is this ass, Mike Putnam? Where is that little fu—“
“No! Please, Monica, keep this between the two of us. I’ll talk to Mike, I promise.”
Monica sighed. “All right. I gotta get to class. You stay out of trouble,” she teased, lightening the mood before sauntering off, skirt of her cheerleader uniform swaying around her sticks for legs.
Watching her leave, I spun back and headed up the stairs towards my fourth hour: Chemistry.
As I was walking in, I caught the eye of my Chem partner. He was seated at the edge of his seat, wiggling his foot anxiously. His eyes pierced me like those of a laser’s and, as normal, I quickly adverted my own. Something about those eyes made me think that he could read my thoughts, see all my secrets and desires. It made me slightly uncomfortable…
“Hey, Veronica!” he chimed like an eager five-year-old before a bowl of chocolate fudge ice cream.
“Hey, Will.”
William
Gosh, she was gorgeous. Entering the Chem class with her hair done in a low bun, loose tendrils curling around her defined face, she made my whole mind go completely blank for a moment. Her soft-golden orbs were lined in insanely long lashes coated in a thin layer of mascara, batting coyly at me, making my stomach flop uneasily inside of me.
But she looked sad. Too sad for someone so perfect to look. Her lids were drooping, her mouth weak when she smiled, her shoulders hunched. I could just guess who was behind it and it made me clench my hands into fists.
“Hey, Veronica!” But I put on a happy face for her, hoping that it will cheer her up.
“Hey, Will.” Her voice was nothing short of pathetic, sounding weak, even to me.
I sighed and looked at her closely. “What’s up?”
Her eyes shot to mine for only a second before looking back to her desk. Shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, she answered, “Nothing. Why?”
“I don’t know… You just seem sad.”
“Sad? No! Of course not!” She played it off with a laugh that sounded sickly to my ears. Deciding not to act on it, I changed the subject, moving on to class work. We were doing a lab on atoms and the different light spectrums each particle could create. We were at the hydrogen lamp and as the lights were shut off, she glided past me as if carried by an invisible wind.
Her scent was mingled with her perfume, making my heart patter weakly inside of me. “You want to measure?” she asks me, shaking me out of my fantasies.
“Umm, yeah, sure,” I mumbled, thankful that the lights were shut off as to hide the furious blush snaking up my neck. I caught myself glancing at her legs as she bent down to look at the light. They were hidden behind a pair of tight-fitted jeans that molded to her shape, showing off her toned thighs from hours of volleyball practice. “Hey, earth to Will!” she shouted over, smiling for real this time. “You wanna give me the measure?”
“Yeah, sorry,” I mumbled, running a hand through my unruly hair, feeling the blush deepen, spreading to my cheeks. Thank god that she couldn’t see. “Umm…45 centimeters.”
“Got it,” she reported scribbling down the data. I caught myself staring at her legs again and forced some sense into me. She has a boyfriend. She doesn’t think anything of me. I’m just a science geek!
Or, that’s what she thinks…
End of chapter
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139,447 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
JessicaB:
Well, there is more chapters, like five of them up top if you just click on them.
Otherwise, I'm glad you liked this so much!
Thanks for reading!
WOWOWOWOW!!!
Amazing.
PM whens theres more.
Writing for love is a pas:
Thanks!
I'm glad you liked it!
Love it. That's all I can say. I LOVE it.
AllyyyAlwayyys:
I'm glad you liked it!
Thanks, Ally
FreakyDoo12:
Umm, it's like the prologue of this story. It's up on top in related items if you want to look at it.
But thanks so much for reading
Wow, another brilliant story once again!!
Good job on describing your characters, I spotted something you said about a preface. Where is it?
Anyway, I don't really comment kindly since I go staright to the point but I have to say this is good.
Oh!
my gosh
this story is awesome
I love the charactors
they seem so well thought out
and as for Will
I have 5000000 ideas what i think he is
some of my ideas are kind of out there too
haha
but I'm off to read the next part
XD
Night Mistress:
Kind of but not really. You'll see what I mean in further installments
Thanks for reading!
jasmine12:
Yeah, you are being a lot of help, jazz!
Thanks so much!
I'll keep all that you said in mind
You kinda switched things around here. First she was all "Damn, here comes Moe" and now shes asking for advice? Either you want her to be two faced-esce or what? I got confused.
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*rolls eyes* typical jerk-face thing to do.
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I dont really see a need for the elipse.
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HAhahaha! this is funny!
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*melts again*
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This sentence is kind of awkward when read out loud. maybe you could reword it.
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I thought this was kind of weird. Of all things to look at, why her legs? Is it just because they are toned? I dont see how that could be....whats the word im looking for...erotic? Thats a weird thing to like if ya ask me. But feel free to ignore that.
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I like William. He seems sweet yet over protective of Veroncia.
Maybe you might want to throw in why Veronica stays with her boyfriend even if he says abusive things to her like "Your chubby" Like, why doesnt she just end it?
Hope i Could be some help.
On i read.
OH,
i like this. it's a cute pairing. a geek with a popular. is that what you are going for?
I like Will and veronica's character. you alll most feel like being them.
Veronica's boyfriend needs to take a hike somewhere esle.
off to check out the part two.
Angel of Death:
But I won't give it away until then.
Thanks!
Two chapters from now, you should officially figure out what Will is
Well, thanks again for taking the time to read this!
Hey Ash,
I read this yesterday on my phone because I wasn't home. This was great and William did kinda seem not human but now that you've confirmed that he wasn't, I'm going to be wondering what he is until you decide to tell us. I like the way this is written. Its in two different perspectives, and I like stories like that because it gives the reader the chance to know every character personally he he. I think its sweet that William cares for Veronica. And Mike or whatever her boyfriends name was is a jerk. I just don't like him and I do hope that Will tears him to shreds!
Can't wait for more. Great as always,
~Angel
endless_secrets:
But I won't tell you exactly what he is. You'll find out later...
Yeah, he isn't human
But yeah, I really am struggling with the male perspective so if anybody, including you, spots anything that sounds too girly, please just let me know!
And thanks, endless, for reading this!
I'm glad you liked it!
Great first chapter, i just wish it was longer. You have great use of characterization, and your characters most definately seem real. Great job with the male perspective, i could never go there. It is moving at a good pace. i enjoy how he adors her and she thinks nothing of him, but that he's a little off.
Please tell me he's not human!
Anyways great start once again, i hope you continue with this.
PM me please!
I'll let you know if I spot anything off in the future, but so far so good!
KJ
lol
I might just have to PM you
lucyy:
Thanks, luc!
You always give the nicest reviews!
tnme22:
I'm glad you liked this! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it. And the thing about the orbs, very true. I sometimes get so caught up in telling the story that I forget it's a guy...which is kind of bad
But yeah, thanks for reading this and I will PM you when I post more
Nice first paragraph! You introduce Monica well and I like the MC's voice.
What's a hair binder?
I feel really connected with Monica already. She is a very strong character and easy to associate with.
I really liked this first part. You write very well. I see no real major spelling or grammar errors and the tone and style of it is great.
I really like this a lot.
The characters are great and it is wonderfully written. I love your word choice and use of detail!
Please let me know if you update this!
-Carly
I managed to read this today - my homework is now not playing havoc on my conscience, so I can read this, yayy *dances* Anyway,..
) so please PM me when you post more,
I enjoyed this and William's character intrigues me hugely - I immediately want to know more about him, especially with that ending sentence. Why do you always have to leave me in suspense?? *sighs*
I really love how you've split the story into two character's perspectives - I've read a book like that before (Noughts & Crosses - awesome book) and I just love the layout and skill behind it, which you have definitely mastered!!
I couldn't see anything which you needed to improve on (you put my nit-picky reviews to shame d: ) as you're just such a damn good writer ashley (:
I can't wait for more of this (or Poisoned Roses - hint, hint
Lucyy xx
Mental note, KJ - get back to this. Ash, PM me if I forget?