Clay

Hi! CATS here to leave a review! This poem caught my attention because of the title, it was short and made readers curious! Also, I LOVE the cover. It's really creative. Okay, let's start!

Clay

Trust starts as a soft piece of clay

Shapeless, not meaningful

Then somebody else with their piece of clay shows up

Their clay is shapeless and meaningless like yours

You two get to know each other

Growing closer, having longer conversations

One day, you notice something

Their clay and yours have begun to take shape

Shapes that perfectly fit each other

They know all about you

You know all about them

The clay becomes more intricate, developing finer details

You two grow ever closer

Until something unexplainable happens

They told others about your secrets

Their clay is sharp and misshapen now

No longer complementing yours

Your clay has returned to its original shape, meaningless

And you consider making it sharp and misshapen

Because finding someone new feels scary

Trusting somebody else feels impossible now

hi! It's ocean here to shoot you a quick review ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚

Romance is my fav <3

And i didn't break down each line like I usually do :[

Now shall we dive in?

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Love is like clay because when two people meet it's soft and really has no shape.
As they get to know each other they form together like two pieces of clay. Once the bond broken it becomes shapeless like clay. Just like clay trust has to be with care and consideration.
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Shortest ocean review ever but I hope it helps

Love,
ocean

hi ash! herb here to review your poem.

on first glance, this is a piece about love/falling out of love, and you make it akin to clay-- which i found interesting. the moldablity of it and the nature of clay itself -- i found it very engaging.

i think the shaping of clay is a very strong motion of this poem-- its very poignant and beautiful, so there's that.

however, i feel there's more. there's more you have to say about this but i just don't. have. the ending has more to say, but i want more. there needs to be bridges between these stanzas, making more.

you're brimming with oppritunity. i'm excited to see what you have in for the future.

best & sincerely,

herb

Hey!

This piece, at first, starts off sweet. Then it gets darker and painful. It describes a betrayal from someone once loved. I'm sure that's a pain most of us can correlate with. It's never a fun feeling, and you described it beautifully.

I love how you used a comparison here and all throughout the poem, and it fits well with the idea you're trying to form. It set an idea and an image in my mind, and that's probably because most of my poems come from broken thoughts. So, for reaching out and getting your point crossed to the reader, you did an amazing job.

I don't have any major suggestions here, but perhaps try closing off your rows or stanzas using comma's or periods. They'd make your lines feel less ongoing and would add to the emotion you're trying to portray, but that's mostly an opinion thing.

Other than that, I think this is a beautiful piece and you did an amazing job clarifying your main point and sticking to it! I wish you some happy writings!

~Taost