There is so much she wished she could tell him; how she loved the way she felt when he hugged, how he saved her from her darkest time, how he made her laugh when she needed it most. There was nothing more she hoped for than for him to tell her he liked her too.
She gave him chances; second, third, tenth, fifteenth. Every time she was hurt she told him and he said he was sorry. Nothing changed. He still took advantage of her weakness to him. She needed the strength to tell him off and keep him away; she knew she would never get it from always forgiving him.
He told her he loved another girl. One older, prettier, better. She was hurt but acted like she didn’t mind. Then he kissed her. He knew it was her first kiss. Something she could never get back, and she gave it away to a guy that just threw her away like a flavorless piece of gum. She forgave him when he wrote something mean and blamed it on a friend yet again. She forgave him for everything but now when she wanted to forgive him the most… she could not. She could not stay friends with him knowing she would never have him. Never be his and he never being hers. She was ready to find her strength.
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139,679 Literary Works • 672,647 Reviews
WOW!
It is simple, short, yet full of emotion.
I loved that part!!
I think it ended too quickly. Maybe you should describe a little more of her feelings, now that she is hurt, the confusion in her head after he kissed her. You know, say something like: at the same time she is happy that he kissed her but angry because it wasn't the kiss she was wanting for... How she doesn't know if she loves him or hate him... Something like that.
I'm sure you will figure out what's missing.
Congratulations for your story. It's amazing.
Let us hear from you again soon
And sorry if something I said here sounded offensive.
Hi there!
So, as short as this may be, I am stunned by the emotions I feel by reading this. I don't really know where to start... I think the best way to describe it, is this story is so full and I didn't feel that a single word was out of place.
Also, this is very relate able, especially to teenage girls.
- I just loved this so much- the flavorless gum simile really added to the piece.
But my favourite part is the ending. It's fulfilling, how she finally decides to do anyway with him, and I was left with a smile on my face.
Once again, great story!
Keep Writing
-Briggsy