Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
In my dreams, I saw a whale.
I had seen whales before,
in the arms of their mother ocean.
Chubby little fins,
innocent cries.
The special signs told me,
that I was to have one of my own.
In my days, I felt her swim.
I was rounder than the Earth,
so vast and big.
Yet I felt her move,
small fins touching me from within.
I smiled as the doctors showed pictures.
I imagined her from the blurred photos.
Sweet and pure.
Beautiful and kind.
Small and fragile.
In my agony, I saw her arrive.
Pain can be good.
Most were terrified
of the moment
they arrive.
I embraced the misery.
For when she emerged,
leaping from the bottom of the sea,
I fell deep within her melody of tears.
My own fell when they placed her in my arms.
In my nights, I heeded her calls.
Whales are musicians.
They make symphonies for Poseidon
and oceans everywhere.
I awoke when the sky was still dark,
to find her crying in her crib.
The moment my waves caressed her skin,
she gazed up at me from the ocean blue
and giggled.
Her tiny fins reached up,
wrapping around my own.
I held her close to my bosom,
right where she belonged.
Forever.
In my love, I saw her leave.
She had washed up ashore.
I saw her stillness.
I felt the hot sun on her skin.
101…
I took her back to the ocean.
I cooled her down.
When she didn’t sing,
I screamed.
They had to drag me away,
as a blue blanket,
covered her little face.
In my nightmares, I saw a whale.
Nights were silent,
Empty without her music.
I latched onto her scent.
I became a parasite;
hoarding her memory.
They told me to get up from my bed,
but I forgot how to swim.
So when I dreamt of her,
I became a barnacle,
fusing myself to her ghost
as she sang the one lyric to her song.
mommy…
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,797 Reviews
Hey there! Plume here, with a review!!
Oh man. This poem was absolutely heart wrenching and gorgeous. That continued metaphor of the whale was absolutely lovely, especially with the way you twisted it at the end. That combined effect of that and the lovely descriptions throughout really made this poem so emotional and touching. Really nice work.
One thing I adored about this was the patterns of the first lines. I'm a sucker for those kinds of repeated structures in poetry, and I think the way you conveyed the shifts in topic throughout the poem using those first sentences was absolutely immaculate. I loved the change from "in my dreams, I saw a whale" to "in my nightmares, I saw a whale." It really made it that kind of broken circular ending that makes the topic all the more heartbreaking. As someone who loves exploring the idea of parenthood in my writing, this poem was especially insightful and moving to read, and the patterns of those first sentences really solidified that impact.
I also want to commend you on your storytelling through this. I think with poems that are meant to convey a story, it can be all too easy to fall into a more prose-like way of telling it, but yours is just understated enough to conjure up those images of an expecting parent preparing and then greeting their child so touchingly before having said child ripped from their arms too soon. Your powerful imagery throughout and similes and just overall lovely figurative language really added so much power and just enough detail to your storytelling. I especially loved the line in the last stanza where you said "I latched onto her scent. I became a parasite, hoarding her memory." I think that that just did a phenomenal job of achieving the parent's form of grief and how they were so afraid to let their child go. That isn't the only example, but if I pulled out every one, we'd be here a while. It was just so wonderfully crafted.
Overall: spectacular job. This poem was teeming with emotion and detail, and was so well done. You should be proud. I hope to read more of your work on here soon! Until next time!!
THANK YOU!!!!!! I'm glad you liked it.
Such a sad and emotional poem to read.I can’t imagine how upset and devastated the mother must have felt to leave her child and knowing that she’ll never see her kid again.I’m sorry.This poem..it was well-written and lovely to read.I liked the poem.I hope everything gets better.I hope you have a nice day/night.
That was sad but beautiful. It definitely hope you write more like this.
Such an incredible poem. I'm sorry.
Oh it%u2019s not based on me just someone I knew.