Young Writers Society

Hey there! Plume here, with a review!!

Oh man. This poem was absolutely heart wrenching and gorgeous. That continued metaphor of the whale was absolutely lovely, especially with the way you twisted it at the end. That combined effect of that and the lovely descriptions throughout really made this poem so emotional and touching. Really nice work.

One thing I adored about this was the patterns of the first lines. I'm a sucker for those kinds of repeated structures in poetry, and I think the way you conveyed the shifts in topic throughout the poem using those first sentences was absolutely immaculate. I loved the change from "in my dreams, I saw a whale" to "in my nightmares, I saw a whale." It really made it that kind of broken circular ending that makes the topic all the more heartbreaking. As someone who loves exploring the idea of parenthood in my writing, this poem was especially insightful and moving to read, and the patterns of those first sentences really solidified that impact.

I also want to commend you on your storytelling through this. I think with poems that are meant to convey a story, it can be all too easy to fall into a more prose-like way of telling it, but yours is just understated enough to conjure up those images of an expecting parent preparing and then greeting their child so touchingly before having said child ripped from their arms too soon. Your powerful imagery throughout and similes and just overall lovely figurative language really added so much power and just enough detail to your storytelling. I especially loved the line in the last stanza where you said "I latched onto her scent. I became a parasite, hoarding her memory." I think that that just did a phenomenal job of achieving the parent's form of grief and how they were so afraid to let their child go. That isn't the only example, but if I pulled out every one, we'd be here a while. It was just so wonderfully crafted.

Overall: spectacular job. This poem was teeming with emotion and detail, and was so well done. You should be proud. I hope to read more of your work on here soon! Until next time!!

Such a sad and emotional poem to read.I can’t imagine how upset and devastated the mother must have felt to leave her child and knowing that she’ll never see her kid again.I’m sorry.This poem..it was well-written and lovely to read.I liked the poem.I hope everything gets better.I hope you have a nice day/night.

That was sad but beautiful. It definitely hope you write more like this.

Such an incredible poem. I'm sorry.