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The Sunny Day

by anne27

I’m a sunny day

Bright and yellow as ever

I view the Earthlings

enjoying my presence.

But once in a while

a cloud comes by

and makes me look

at people who’ll rather

have a rainy day.

Then it passes, they’re stuck

with me- but I don’t mind

I know I’m important too!

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40 Reviews

Points: 852
Reviews: 40

Thu Oct 20, 2022 2:51 pm
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QueenMadrose wrote a review...

Hello rose here to drop off a review!

I hope you are having a great day/night.

I want to let you know that I never really reviewed poems this short but it's great to try new things. So let us get started!

I really like how your poem is short and simple. It's really straight to the point. I love how it has a positive outlook to it. It makes me feel like I'm reflecting on the world. My favourite line was most definitely

"they're stuck with me-but I don't mind

I know I'm important too!"

One thing I will probably recommend would be putting a comma after "they're".

And to explain why? Look at it this way:

"then it passes, they're stuck"

Putting a comma after they're will give the reader a chance to pause and think and absorb what they are reading.

so it will look like this

"Then it passes, they're, stuck".

Overall I really liked your thought process with this piece and the clarify of your poem.

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462 Reviews

Points: 121
Reviews: 462

Fri Oct 07, 2022 11:58 am
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

Haha! Cute poem. The sun knows that it’s an important source to bring joy. Who knows? Maybe it will, ”Brighten someone’s day!” I am one of those people who prefer the rain, but the sun is nice too.

However, there are a few words in the poem that start with a lowercase letter. Was that intentional?

Other than that, This was really nice to read! The sun shines even after a cloud comes by, no matter what!

I wish you a very sunny day and glimmering moon night.

anne27 says...

Thanks for the review! And yes, that was intentional!

“A good book isn't written, it's rewritten.”
— Phyllis A. Whitney, Guide to Fiction Writing