I’m a sunny day
Bright and yellow as ever
I view the Earthlings
enjoying my presence.
But once in a while
a cloud comes by
and makes me look
at people who’ll rather
have a rainy day.
Then it passes, they’re stuck
with me- but I don’t mind
I know I’m important too!
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hello rose here to drop off a review!
I hope you are having a great day/night.
I want to let you know that I never really reviewed poems this short but it's great to try new things. So let us get started!
I really like how your poem is short and simple. It's really straight to the point. I love how it has a positive outlook to it. It makes me feel like I'm reflecting on the world. My favourite line was most definitely
"they're stuck with me-but I don't mind
I know I'm important too!"
One thing I will probably recommend would be putting a comma after "they're".
And to explain why? Look at it this way:
"then it passes, they're stuck"
Putting a comma after they're will give the reader a chance to pause and think and absorb what they are reading.
so it will look like this
"Then it passes, they're, stuck".
Overall I really liked your thought process with this piece and the clarify of your poem.
Haha! Cute poem. The sun knows that it’s an important source to bring joy. Who knows? Maybe it will, ”Brighten someone’s day!” I am one of those people who prefer the rain, but the sun is nice too.
However, there are a few words in the poem that start with a lowercase letter. Was that intentional?
Other than that, This was really nice to read! The sun shines even after a cloud comes by, no matter what!
I wish you a very sunny day and glimmering moon night.
Thanks for the review! And yes, that was intentional!