Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic


Lizard

by anne27


There she was, still

until I saw her. She moved

tried to escape me

there was no way out.

I was the giant standing

at the only door-

the only possible escape she had.

She kept trying to run 

as I chased her.

But neither her, nor me knew

where she was to go.

You would think

there was a problem

with no solution, except-

the next time I tried to chase her

She ran straight towards me 

And made her way. 

As she scared her problem away.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
10 Reviews


Points: 33
Reviews: 10

Donate
Tue Oct 19, 2021 3:29 pm
cryptologenic wrote a review...



hi there! i thought this was such a cute poem :3 i feel like this a lot, like the creature who is about 1/100th of my size is probably more afraid of me than i am of it, but i get scared off instead anyway.

i thought the deeper message was something about how some of our problems that seem so big can actually be easily overcome. thanks for sharing!




User avatar
138 Reviews


Points: 15000
Reviews: 138

Donate
Tue Oct 12, 2021 3:17 am
View Likes
FireEyes wrote a review...



Hey anne! Incoming review!

I was, and still am, confused as to why you titled the poem Lizard but I liked the work either way. With that said let me get on with the review!

I'll start out with critiques. My biggest complaint would be with clarity. Is the "she" a lizard? Are you actually a giant? Why are you trapping her? It's those kinds of questions that get me hung up on a poem and don't let me see the rest of the poem's beauty. It's like when you read your favourite book again and there are major plot holes that you just can't ignore. Other than the clarity issue, I couldn't find anything else really to critique. You fixed autocapitalization, not really a mistake but makes writing look better.

With the critiques out of the way let me praise your work! Your punctuation was pleasing to the eye with the layout. Although I'm sure it was completely accidental, the periods seems to come at just the right time.

This was also a more action-like poem and I don't see that regularly. Just another way to show that poetry is more than "Roses are red/ Violets are blue." Even with the confusion, or just my smooth brain, my favourite lines were

She ran straight towards me

And made her way.

As she scared her problem away.
It's like "she" was more scary than you. Somewhat of the notion that people say "Insert scary animal here is more scared of you and you are of it." Although, I think the first line I quoted was auto capitalized when it shouldn't be in the poem.

But that's all I have for today. I hope you found some of it useful! It's great to see you posting more works again and I hope to review more from you in the future! Anyway byeeeeeeeeeee<333




anne27 says...


Thanks a lot for the review FireEyes :D
Ok, so I named the poem Lizard because I wanted to emphasize on the little creature. And yes the 'she' the lizard. This poem was written metaphorically, trying to say that problems are meant to be dealt with not run away from. As the lizard did. Although, I think I wasn't that successful in putting forward that point -_-.
For your other questions- I am a giant to her by size. She's comparatively smaller than me- or atleast that's what she might think. Like we think that our problems are bigger than us. And try to evade them.
And I'm not actually trapping her, she's sure scared of me and that makes her feel trapped. Our mind does that to us sometimes, doesn't it? We feel trapped in a situation which actually isn't even a problem- but a thing to be simply dealt with. That was my point. Sorry for the obscurity.I hope it's a bit clearer now.
Glad you liked it. Thanks. <3



FireEyes says...


Ah okay. That was really creative of you! Thanks for the explanation lol



anne27 says...


Anytime <3



User avatar
95 Reviews


Points: 23
Reviews: 95

Donate
Fri Oct 08, 2021 6:21 pm
View Likes
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



This is a short poem,but it has meaning to it.I believe the narrator was someone important in their life,but that other person was being a “lizard” and pushing the narrator out of their lives forever.Unless the “lizard” in the poem had the right to do it,because the narrator was standing in the way of their opportunity in life.I liked the poem.I hope you have a good day/night.




anne27 says...


Thanks a lot for the review :D




You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself. What you say is completely up to you.
— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time