Young Writers Society

Hello Alliyah

This is an amazing story. It describes how the person is feeling and how they like to follow the map that's written in front of them and not take there own way. 😁😁

A few things that you could work on though, watch your capitalisation and your punctuation it can get confusing sometimes if you miss a comma, e.g. Come eat, mum- Come eat mum.

Horselover1001

This is a fascinating work. I like how you've expressed your wandering thoughts, your candid hopes and fears. You've shown how hope and fear, love and hurt can be so strongly intertwined.

I'd suggest paying attention to capitalization and punctuation. The whole thing kind of goes on as one unending sentence and so it's a bit confusing. The lines between thoughts are blurred. You've gotten your hands on some fascinating concepts, though. Keep up the writing!