sometimes, it is not so difficult to imagine that the earth is flat,
that we're all balanced on the edge and trying not to fall,
like at the end of this all, there is nothing left -
that we have all tricked ourselves into believing light is turning,
and not disappearing when the night swallows up the sun.
sometimes, it is not so difficult to imagine that when you left,
i drowned somewhere in a lake, 10,000 leagues deep,
and that you left my body there, for the fish and sea to inhabit -
that i had tricked myself into believing you were an anchor,
just for you to learn to fly further than i ever imagined the sky could stretch.
sometimes, if i am honest, i almost prefer this way of thinking,
that valleys, and skies, and earth, and grief are finite,
that after some time, everything ends, and there is nothing left -
but there is no comfort in lying to myself. and i promised myself,
along with the sun, i will not stop here.
i will not fall, even if the sky is dark, and my feet unsteady.
i will not stay to drown, no matter what the seabird's siren-song promises,
i refuse to allow these fish to eat me alive - i too, will fly
and i will not stop chasing the edge of tomorrow, until
this day has turned, and light returns again.
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Thank you Alliyah)
The latter part of the text delivers a strong message of resilience and determination. It reminds us that even in our darkest moments, we can find the inner strength to carry on, to resist succumbing to despair, and to strive for a brighter future. The metaphor of chasing the promise of a new day until the light returns is a beautiful representation of hope and the human spirit's capacity for renewal.
it's important to me right now.
I can feel the emotion in this poem. It is raw, it is powerful, it is overwhelming. I love how you've created a stack of juxtapositions here: reality vs. imaginary, fact vs. blind faith, light vs. dark, emptiness vs. eternity... It's just adding so many beautiful layers to grief, and it shows us how complex and deep grief and loss really is.
Once again, beautiful job. I love your works, and I can't wait to see them on a bookshelf in the future!
Thank you! Glad you caught all those parallels within the stanzas! Thanks for stopping by to comment. Have a good day!
Aloha @alliyah!
Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye an intriguing poem titled “i will not stop here” that deserves a good review. So without further ado, let’s begin.
Very first of all, you've written a beautiful poem here. It reflects on themes of loss, resilience, determination and maybe also uncertainty.
Your poems opens with "sometimes, it is not so difficult to imagine that the earth is flat", so sometimes it's hard to to believe the old theories from the old times about the earth. The first stanza mostly focuses on the fact that reality can be deceiving, the earth can have edges and people have brought themselves to believe that the disappearing act of the light is a far-fetched theory.
The speaker tells their tale of loss and abandonment, part of them felt like drowning in a deep lake due to the leave of someone, perhaps someone very special and important.
But if the speaker is being honest with themselves, they "prefer this way of thinking", the thought of living in a fantasy world, of making up their own theories for certain things that they just don't want to believe.
And the speaker promised that they will not stop there, not anymore.
A teeny tiny suggestion from me: You could, however, consider using capital letters in your poem at the beginning of a sentence. This will make things clearer and give the poem more structure.
Everything in all and all in everything, I enjoyed reading this remarkable poem. You've created a perfect blend of imagination, reality and themes such as resilience and loss. Chapeau!
That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!
With writer’s love,
Rose
Thanks for your comments Rose -> in this case rather than using capitalization to create sentence-structure -> I wanted to be a bit more informal with the sentence arrangement by creating a series of run-on sentences indicated by punctuation which created structure through parallel use between stanzas. (ie. each stanza had a dash in the third line, and a comma in the second, and a period in the fifth line) sometimes in poetry by minimizing capitalization it can draw attention to other forms of creating structure like line breaks or punctuation or repetition to create order which is a technique I use quite a bit.
Hope that makes sense to understand what I was going for there! Thanks for your nice comments and analysis here!