The True Throne (Prologue + Chapter 1)

by YP@17

Published January 4, 2022

E - Everyone

In The True Throne

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(Note : I am not native english speaker, this is first time I am writing novel, so give it look, tell how bad it is.)

PROLOGUE: 

In the beginning, there was only one world, the world of Gods.

Many years later, they created a world for humans and animals.

That world was called "CREATA".

But it did not last long, with the greatest war being fought between humans and animals, known as the "GREAT WAR".

It was so devastating that the gods had to intervene in the war, and in the end, the gods tried to stop the war. But they had no choice but to kill both humans and animals.

And ‘CREATA’ itself was finished by the gods.

Many years later a new reign of GODS came.

The new God and Goddess, the 7th generation is known as the 7th King and Queen.

The two decided to give humans and animals another chance even after the Great War. But, this time they created a different world for both, one is the animal world created by Goddess and the other is the human world created by God.

ANIMAL-WORLD is known as 'AMIA'.

HUMAN-WORLD is known as 'EARTH'.

Today, three worlds exist, yet we can only live in one world. And, In the hope of Great War will not happen again.

This is the story of the 'EARTH'.

AND THE EARTH IS DIVIDED BETWEEN EAST & WEST BY THE WALL.

WEST KINGDOM - RAME & RYAN

EAST KINGDOM - SARE, SWIX, SXES, MARIAN

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CHAPTER 1:

THE WALL:

The dark horse, which is barely seen in the winter fog, was standing in front of the giant ice wall.

The huge wall is always covered with snow. Also, in winter, the air gets more foggy and humid

Things are barely seen.

It was a winter morning, the trading day;

the day when import and export (things get exchanged) happens between the east and west kingdoms.

All trades take place through the wall.

Both Eastern Kingdoms (Swix, Sare, Sxes) and Western Kingdoms (Rame, Ryan) agreed to trade on four trading days in four different seasons each year.

Both sides are equally well in resources. The Eastern kingdoms have massive land as compared to the western kingdoms.

Western kingdoms do not have agricultural-rich soil.

Rame has a little bit of agricultural land. But Ryan most depends on the eastern kingdoms for food resources.

That's why these trade days are so important to Ryan.

Also, the trade of books and documents from the library to the library to get to know each other and get to know each other's culture and language is an important part of the trade.

The wall is under the warriors from the eastern kingdoms. They are all well trained in Slagon (Far from the wall, The place is in a snowy area surrounded by a great environment with high altitudes.

The place where strong warriors are trained and sent to the wall to protect the wall. This place is the powerhouse of the east.

Slagon is known as "Warrior Born Land". The Sxes, Sare, Swix have too many young talented children who can be used as warriors. These children graduate from the military school of Sare and are then sent to the Slagon. All warriors on WALL trained in Slagon. After they are nourished and trained. They go to the WALL to protect their lands and protect all east.)

All warriors from the eastern Kingdom have tattoos/symbols on their bodies (They have a tattoo-like structure that appears when they learn a new sierra (skill) and their blood is fully adapted to that sierra (skill). To use those sierras (skills) symbols soak the blood from a human body. Today only five sierras are present. (Eaglion, Marion, Harshion, Snowion, Slaygion)).

The warrior who serves at the wall is known as the Knight of the wall.

Today is a day of trading,

This is brutal weather for knights who are the serving wall, high altitude has much more rapid breathing and pulse rates (as their bodies try to obtain more oxygen), hard to use sierra as well (as its soaks blood).

Still, without any excuses, every knight serves the wall.

The Two Knights of the wall named one are Ether and the other is Eric on level three of the wall looking down.

(The Wall has three layers (by height).)

It's impossible to see from down there in winter.

So, Knight Eric uses his sierra Eaglion (the skill in which you see the long-range object.) blood starts flowing rapidly towards the Eyes, triggers the eyes, and flashes the Eaglion symbols on his hand, to see the man down on the dark horse.

He got a cheeky smile on his face. He picked up the arrow and looked up at his friend Knight Ether, making a suspicious eye.

Knight Ether replied: "No."

Knight Eric makes a frustrated face and says: "Common..., I am getting bored."

Knight Ether smiles and says: "Fine! don’t hit moving objects."

Knight Eric smiled and once again used Eaglion and proceeded to trigger his arrow towards the object. At the same time, Knight Ether also uses Eaglion and stops him immediately.

Knight Eric says: "Now what."

Knight Ether says: "The man you are going to scare is a King of Ryan."

Knight Eric says: "Then, what? if he is King of Ryan, as we know he will escape my arrow and if he is not then, we are having fun."

Knight Ether says: "You know if you hit anyone on that side, that will going to violate the law and agreement. It might lead to war."

Knight Eric says: "Then, what's going to happen next? war, we already defeated them every time. They don't have the guts to fight against us.”

Knight Ether says: "Well, that is true."

Knight Eric took an arrow and aimed towards the King, once again using Eaglion, and released it.

King of Ryan sees the arrow and just moves a little bit of his head. The arrow hits the ground.

Knight Eric says: "Yep, he is King of Ryan." and he starts feeling a little pain in his heart.

Knight Ether says: "Idiot, why do you use sierra many times when you know it sucks blood every time."

Knight Eric says: "Yep, it's hurting I am dying. My friend, the day has come. I must say to you, my last wish."

Knight Ether says: "Um...Not today, and stop acting." and took him to the medics.

Knight Eric loses himself and says: "What a pleasant night" in the morning.

after hearing that Knight Ether says: "oh boy."

and he is getting a little heavier and sleepy.

Knight Ether says:"(loudly) Don't...Yep, and... he's in sleep."

and shouted to the other Knight and said: "Look at my side as well."

Knight Ether grabs Knight Eric to the medics.

Doctor says: "Not again. Where and why."

Knight Ether says: "As usual."

Doctor checking his body says: "Can you stop encouraging him and can you stop him from overusing his sierra."

Knight Ether says: "I did, but he is stubborn and I just can't deny that face he made during begging."

Doctor symbolically says no by his head and says: "He's fine. He just needs a little rest and blood. I still can't believe the safety of the Kingdoms depends on people like you and him."

Knight Ether smiled and left the room.

RYAN:

The silent, beautiful night, moonshine like silver.

The noise of the woods is burning in the fire freeing themselves from the chimney, making light sound pleasant to hear.

The king of Ryan, King Acelin, is on the balcony staring at the dark, silent night.

The footsteps lightly approach him. The beautiful cracking sound of footsteps of a red-haired woman, the Queen of Ryan, Lady Rosalia with a red silky dress kissing the floor.

She reaches the balcony.

She says: "Isn't it a beautiful night."

Minute of silence.

King is wondering something in the sky; he didn't even notice the question asked by the queen.

Again, she asked the king: '"Are you okay, Ace?"

This time the king answered: "Hmm, everything is fine".

But the answer doesn't justify his expression.

So, she asked again: "it doesn't look like it."

King Acelin says: "just busy and tiring day."

Queen Rosalia says: "Hmm, today is a trading day at the wall. I think so because of that you feel tiredness".

King says: "No Rose, It's not about that trading day. I feel every trading day just reminds us how weak we are."

The Queen says: "What do you mean how weak we are."

King says: "not only weak. Sometimes, I think how hopeless we are."

The Queen says: "What's in your mind?"

King says: "I am going to take the wall. I want to break that thing."

The Queen was surprised when she heard the answer from the king. She didn't expect such an answer.

The Queen says: "You are not fine. You need rest."

King says: "so, you don't trust me."

The Queen says: "I always have trust in you. but I am not sure about the wall thing. It's just like touching the star."

King says: "I am not sure about touching the star. But I am pretty confident about taking the wall. I had faith in my comrades and my people. it's time for the west to rise and awake"

The Queen says: "But I think such decisions must be made with a calm mind."

King says: "I am thinking about it."

The Queen with a light smile says: "I didn't expect such an answer from the king of Ryan. I thought he already had an answer."

King didn't find a way to end the conversation.

So, he just says: "I am going to the library".

The Queen says: "It's the night, I don't think, it is the right place for the night."

King says: "to answer your questions I need to be there. so, good night and sweet dreams."

The Queen didn't get time to say something. The king went fast.

King went to the library which was held at the bottom of the palace (the big place had a lot of books of all the genres present like history, politics, etc. and documentation, copies as well as war expenditure as well. all of the things are present in the library).

The chairman or head of the library is Sir Vidar.

He didn't notice the king. After some minutes he noticed the cracking sound of books. He went to check what the noise was about and he noticed the king was there searching for something.

So, he asked the king: "What are you doing? Son. at night, are you searching for something."

King says: "Hmm, Sir, I am searching for documents or books about the wars that happen between the eastern and western kingdoms after building up a wall."

King says: "Sir, can u help me to find all related things about wars."'

Sir Vidar says: "Ok, can you give me some time, son."

King smiles and says: "Take your time, Sir. Can I help in some way to find the books?"

Sir Vidar says: "No, Son. It's fine, give me some time."

King says: "Ok. I am waiting here."

Sir Vidar took some minutes and came with three books and some old 100-200 pages.

King is surprised and says: "That's it. Sir."

Sir Vidar says: "That's it, son. If you want more you can refer to some books from the upper shelf from 12H (H stands for History.)."

King says: "Ok. Sir, thank you."

Sir Vidar says: "I am on the bottom floor. If you want something you can call me."

Sir Vidar curiously asked: "can I ask you something."

King says: "Sure, sir."

Sir Vidar says: "Why are you interested in these books."

King says: "I am planning to take the wall."

Sir Vidar chuckles and says: "Is it a new challenge you took? Son, good luck with it. I am sure if in this world someone would come up with such a crazy idea. and is also capable of achieving such a thing. it is you."

King laughed with a little smile on his face and said: "Trust me. you are the only person who always backs up with such a crazy idea, Sir."

Sir Vidar with a light smile: "I am leaving if you need me, just call me."

Sir Vidar leaves the place.

The king sits on a chair. The pages are turning. But the focus stays the same on every page. The Pile of books started increasing. At the start, there were only three books but the book number started increasing as well as draft pages piled up on the left side. He didn't even know what time it was. He read all the material on the table for straight 12 hours. That's insane. During these, the librarian gave him tea. But he didn't even take a sip of tea. He focuses on reading only. He sleeps there.

In the morning, around 9 am, the Queen visits the library.

The Queen meets Sir Vidar in the library and asks him: "Sir, is he there or not."

Sir Vidar says with a questionable face: "did he read for the whole night. As usual, pushing hard on himself."

The Queen chuckles and says: "he had a meeting at 11 am and he is still there."

and in the end with a sarcastic tone, she says: "It's hard for me also, to take care of him."

Sir Vidar laughed and said: "It's true."

Queen searching king in the library. She stops where she finds the king is sleeping.

She woke him and reminded him about the meeting.

King, totally in misery, woke up and went to the ready for the meeting.

But, due to some inner issues, meetings get postponed by Master Ari (master who is like the vice king of the kingdom.)

Somewhere afternoon during dinner time,

The Queen curiously asked the king: " Ace, Would you come up with a plan or not?"

The King was totally in his world thinking about something he didn't even notice what the Queen said.

Queen just cracks the sound of the spoon with the dish so the king can notice her.

The king noticed it and he said: "what? Are you saying something?"

She angrily says: "Are you not listening to me."

She got pretty upset.

King recognizes it and says: "My apology, can you repeat what you are saying, Rose."

The Queen with a hard voice says: "Apology accepted. So, I was saying, Did you come with anything about the wall or not?"

King says: "not much. I got a little idea of why we were defeated in all the wars that happened after the wall."

The Queen says: "Can you like to share with me."

King says: "Of course". the king sarcastically says: "if you are not an assassin or spy sent by the eastern kingdom."

Queen also sarcastically says: "when did the king of Ryan start fearing spies and assassins."

King with a light smile on his face says: "Joke aside, I find a similar pattern in all wars, similar reason, similar mistakes. As a result, we were defeated miserably."

The Queen says:” Hmm.”

King says: "The first war happened nearly 300-350 years from now. In the first war, Rame and Ryan had an equal number as eastern kingdoms. But, due to un-similarities in the thinking of the two kings, the result was we were defeated badly, which took 40-50 years to recover from that loss."

Queen says: "I heard about it when I was growing due to that loss. Rame was totally in chaos. politically as well as economically. Some call it the black period in the history of Rame. I think the first time deep-down Rame got weak psychologically."

King says: "True. But, 70-80 years after the first war, the western kingdom summons a second war. This time we lacked resources as mentioned in books and we got defeated miserably. But, one thing about that war is, I find interesting, the information got from the expenditure tally. We had good resources at that time but no one doesn’t know how to use them. completely inexperienced move. So, to hide the fact that we lost due to inexperienced leadership, they came up with a lack of resources; a completely immature act to hide the truth."

The Queen says: "That's a strange reason. but I think it's the right thing to do. what they did without preparation going against war with the experienced kingdom's not a wise decision at all. without preparation going into the war, I think it is an expected result for us. But We can't blame them for the reason they share false news or lie to us. At least after a defeat, we stand psychologically strong. In that period after the loss that is very important, they did what they needed to do. It may be the best decision after looking at how fast we recover from defeat."

King says: "I had nothing to say about that war, But I hate that we keep the facts disclosed in the dark so as mentally our kingdom still stands. but these facts are going to come out someday so better to accept your defeat. So, the upcoming generation can understand what to do. and what not to do."

The Queen says: "might be true. Then comes the last and third war. Which changes everything in your life. You lost your grandfather in that war. "

King says: "It's just painful when I read all of this thing. but it is more painful when I read the same mistakes repeatedly."

King paused for a minute and said "Third war, if we compare previous wars this time, we had plenty of resources, plenty of men who were ready to fight. But history repeats itself, once again different leaders. One day's strategy is different and other days are completely different. But these times we gave tough fights but we all know we can't win the war based on some tough fights."

The Queen says: "Even if we give our 100 percent there is no chance, we can stand against the wall, the facts and all odds are always going against us in the war."

King says: "That's true. But, In the third war, a wrong decision at the wrong time, even if we are in advantage, that one wrong call. and then, after day 7th, Both leaders start implementing and commanding independently throughout the whole war which results in the third defeat. Which is still hard to digest even today.”

The Queen says: "I know. But did you get a solution or way to win?"

King says: "kind of, just don't do what we did wrong or just do what we did right."

The Queen sarcastically says: "That's.... good going. That's a good answer after spending the whole night behind books."

King laughed and said: "no... I am still thinking about it. don’t jump to the conclusion directly."

The Queen says: "fine."

King says: "you are the worst person I ever met in my life."

The Queen says: "that's my words."

One Master’s man came up with a letter.

(Ryan doesn’t have guards. For messenger or letter sending, King uses Master’s Men’s.)

The man gave a letter to the king.

King read it. The letter is about the rescheduling meeting time on it and apology for rescheduling. The meeting was rescheduled for the next day morning.

The Queen says: "what is in it."

King sarcastically says; "The letter is from the Eastern Kingdom."

The Queen seriously says: "is it what they want from us?"

King with a sarcastic smile says: "they are asking Assassin Rose...alia; did she kill her target or not?”

The Queen took a sigh and said: “I wish I completed my mission. But it is too easy a mission. so, better give it to a low-ranking assassin rather than me.”

King smiled.

The Queen with a smile on her face says: "you’re still really bad with jokes.”

King says:” am I?”

The Queen says: “YES !, you are.”

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POEM 1: 

SNOWY Naked Sky waiting for BLOOD.

ARROGANCE of Air waiting to CRUSH his PURITY.

SNOWFLAKE waiting for RED SHADES.

HOPELESS things searching for HOPE.

DAYS are becoming more DOUBTFUL.

MISTAKES are happening on EVERY STEP.

Yet we are persistent-


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Comments & reviews · 2
VengefulReaper wrote a review Review · Jan 11, 2022

Hi, just leaving a quick review

Firstly, the concept is great and the prologue gives us all the info we need concisely (Which it should). The decision to keep humans and animals in separate worlds entirely and then divide humans into east and west is one I have not seen done before. I am interested to see how that plays out.

The King and Queen are a comedic duo and you've built up their chemistry quite well. I would say try separating long sections of dialogue with some description. Have characters move around the room, maybe describe their facial expressions. If you continuously write dialogue for too long, it feels like a script.

There are some minor grammar issues but considering English is not your native tongue, you did great. It's a good opener to your novel. I look forward to more.

Finding a balance between exposition and plot progression can be hard. For an opening chapter, it's fine to be exposition-heavy. Just don't forget you have characters to build as well.

As always, thank you for the read and I hope this helps.
Reaper

YP@17 replied · Jan 11, 2022

Thanx !! try to work on it.

User avatar
Horisun
Review
Horisun wrote a review Review · Jan 4, 2022

Hello! And welcome to the Young Writers Society! I hope you are having a fantastic day or night!
Right off the bat, I just want to say, this was an excellent start to the story you are planning to tell! Tons of questions already, about how this great wall came to be, and how the other two worlds shall play into it! You introduced a lot of potential story threads, about the Gods and mortals both, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with them.
That being said, I will warn you, in your first chapter, it's important to focus on things that will be relevant later on. At the start, you talk about two different sets of Gods, and as your reader, I am wondering if that minute detail is truly necessary. If it has no impact on the plot down the line, you may want to consider cutting it in later revisions.
A common mistake that many writers make when writing their prologue (or even writing in general!) is info dumping. As much as I am curious about the world you are creating, the prologue does feel a little bit like an outline rather than a proper introduction. Though this is mostly subjective, I would suggest cutting the prologue entirely, and spreading tidbits about your world down the line.
Still, if you'd rather keep your prologue, you could potentially try telling it from one of the Gods perspectives. Consider this: instead of explaining to us how the worlds came to be, show the God and Goddess discussing and/or arguing about the creation of the new world, and maybe afterward, following through with it. You can still give your readers the same amount of information at the start, but you may find it'll flow more naturally overall.
However, this part is completely up to you, of course.
Speaking of, my favorite part about reading this was the interactions between the King and Queen. I like how you characterized them, and the dialogue between the two was very fun and playful! I really, really enjoyed it!
One thing I may suggest is adding more variety with your dialogue tags. Rather than using,
"The King says "this and this" and the queen says "this and that." You could try shaking it up a little bit.
Maybe instead of;

"The Queen with a smile on her face says: "you’re still really bad with jokes.”
King says:” am I?”
The Queen says: “YES !, you are.”"

You could try;

"The Queen with a smile on her face says: "you’re still really bad with jokes.”
"am I?" Says the king
She laughs, “YES !, you are.”"

Still, I read the authors note. Give yourself some props, because this genuinely was a really good start! Especially for a first attempt at writing a novel! I very much enjoyed most, if not all, aspects of it, and I hope to see more from you in the future!
Make sure to tag me when you publish chapter two! I'd love to read more of what you have in store! Keep on writing, and have a fantastic day! :D

YP@17 replied · Jan 5, 2022

Thanx, it is great feedback, I will work on it, Sure. I will ping you when i upload second chapter.



I don't do time.
— Liberty