I Have Lost My Dogs

Hello! I'm K, and hopefully my review of your poem will be helpful!

I like the short sweetness of it, and how it tells a complete story through only a handful of lines. I also really, really like the rhyme scheme. You managed to make every line rhyme which is just wonderful!

I'm confused as to why you capitalized the "I" in if, shouldn't it be lowercase, unless there's a specific reason?
Other than that, all of your mechanics and spelling and grammar are perfect! That is really, really good and you deserve lots of praise for that! <3

As I reread your poem, the line that sticks out as awkward is, "Why is this how it will end?" It seems so short and awkward compared to the rest of your lines. Perhaps it's just a syllable that needs to be added, or something along those lines!

Other than those small things, great poem! Keep it up!! <3

Hey Wonder! It's the Yubster here to review this poem, "I Have Lost My Dogs". YWS Review Day Sandwich.

First off, What I like:

-This poem flows well and has a wonderful rhyming scheme. The scheme adds an emotion to the sound of the poem, making it seem more harsh and angry.

-My favorite part of the poem is the first two lines. All I can see is wheat towering over my head for as far as the eye can see and my face is turning red from anger, frustration, tiredness and of course, the heat.

-It's short, sweet, simple, and to the point. I was browsing through the poem section, trying too something I wanted to review, and your poem caught my eye because it didn't fill a whole page. It says what it needs to in a small space.

What may need improvement:

-This poem is a little bit choppy is some places. Removing a few of the smaller words may make this poem flow smoother and easier.

Example:

"I’ve been running through a field of wheat,
All I feel is anger and heat.
My arms are full of scratches,
My face endured a hundred lashes,
And I wonder, If dogs are man’s best friend,
Why is this how it will end?
I hear the croaks of frogs,
But it doesn't matter -- I've lost my dogs."

As you can see, removing just a few words improves the over-all smoothness and flow to the poem.

Hope this helped, Wonder. If you ever need another review, don't be shy to drop me a line! Keep Writing and Have a Happy Review Day!

yubbies21

Very nice sweet, simple, yet strong poem. You did a great job with the rhyming and pattern of this, but I noticed the end was a little shaky. I donno, It could have been just me(I try not to read the reviews below mine), but I feel like it ends to...suddenly? Like I said, I am unsure. Maybe try adding another line or two? I think that there are to many syllables in that last line(I might be crazy).

But, I do like the imagery. I could see the image in the back of my mind as I was reading. Good job on that.
I also like that it is a short poem, not to long and drug out. Nice and to the point.

I also have to say that I'm so sorry about your dog
I know what it is like to lose a pet and it is no fun.

Keep this up, you are doing a great job!

~Rainn

Hi Wonder! It's Dark Here to freebies your "wonderful" poem! (See what I did there?)
Anyway, I loved this poem a lot! Your rhyme scheme was very original and in sinc. My favorite part was when you wrote,
"I can hear the croaks of frogs,
But it doesn't matter -- I have lost my dogs."
You blended the poem with a sense of danger from being lost, with a sense of sadness your friends have been lost. I loved that the most!
Cheers! ~Dark. Fire Flower

Okay, so just to start off, I would say changing your rhyming pattern so it's just not an AA BB CC DD. This is just a suggestion though, I think it will add to your poem and make it more creative and unique. It also changes the flow of the poem and adds to the poem if you do it well.

I don't really understand what you were getting at with the last sentence to tell you the truth though, I think it seemed a little forced like you had that sentence already in mind and tried to build around it. I think if you reworded it maybe or tried to change things in the beginning so it flows more nicely with the ending, that might work. This is just my opinion though and a suggestion.

All in all, I think this is a good poem and I hope to see some even more creative and complicated poems from you and I look forward to reading you grow as a poet.