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139,798 Literary Works • 672,771 Reviews
It sounds like a song. It's great.
Thank you!
I just wanted to tell you that I really liked this poem.I think this poem really speaks for a lot of people.In this poem I think you really captured some of the feeling of being trapped.We all know what its like to feel trapped sometimes.Great job!
Thanks!
This is a good piece. It's short, but it's still interesting. I believe you wrote this while feeling depressed as you mentioned. But it's still good to move onward!
The way you rhyme seems a little bit forced, and yet, it doesn't.
I don't understand "From all this war and hate;". If you were feeling a little down, then why war and hate really if the war isn't really happening. I suppose I can understand if you're trying to escape from the war of emotions, but still, an explanation would do just fine
I love how this is short like I mentioned. (Or did I?) I like how everything is in just a short poem, so people don't have to waste their time reading and reading on. They don't realize how much time has passed until they look at the clock. Wait, maybe they don't have to, but you get my drift.
Yeah, thank you!
I think I just threw in the 'war and hate' part randomly, just to make it rhyme, as at the time I didn't really care about my word choice (spur of the moment poetry, you know?).
I think I'll change it to 'From all these lies and hate.' The war part really didn't fit in, like you said. Thanks for the review!!!
-Wonder <3
Hey Wonder!
This is a cute, simple poem that I think is meant to express the desire to just be able to run away from it all -- ultimate freedom/living a life of peace. I like the subtle differences in meaning between the first and second stanza as well - the first, is the wanting to get away from the destruction and war; the second is almost seeking for an isolation, wanting to get away from society. It's a simple sentiment, and I think also a universal one.
Watch your semicolon there in the first stanza, as it's not needed. A comma there would suffice instead. Another suggestion I think is perhaps explore sensory description -- I think if you rewrite some of the lines using more airy, or vivid vocab -- you can still maintain the simplicity in the two-stanza piece, while bringing more sentiment and emotion into this. It's all about choosing the best words and putting them in the best order.
Experiment and see where that will take you! I hope this helps. Lovely piece, quite a breath of fresh air.
~ as always, Audy
Thank you! I'll drop the semi-colon like you suggested, and I'll play around with my words choice. That's the fun in writing poetry!
(I try to make all my poems rhyme, because I HATE it when poems don't, so it makes it harder to get the right flow/words/emotion...)
-Wonder
Gooooooooooooood poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:):) -Neon
Thank you!
Hey wonder!!
I'm hanorah!
I really liked this poem!
It rhymed all the way through well done!
It's so short and simple,it was perfect.
Some people over write things and over think poems which makes it a bit messy so I really like simple.
I would give it 10/10,well done!!!!!!!
Aww, thanks. ^-^
Tehe it rhymed!
Making poems that rhyme is not my strong suit so I got a little giggly. 
Anyways this poem really paints a picture of a small town with the main character wishing to move to a big city and being told that "You're crazy," and you'll never make it just because you want to leave and do you're own thing. I really liked the format but I do think it would be better if you capitalized "people" so that it's more like a person's name. Also maybe an "is" after "do" before the comma might make it flow better when read. Hoped this helped, but if you think your poem's fine then you don't have to change it one bit, but I hope you take things like that into consideration when you write your next poem. P.s. I really liked your poem.
Thank you!
Rhyming, for me, is e best part when I write my poems. 
It is simple.
That is the best thing about it. Its so simple that one just cant hate it.
But one cant love it either because it does not have a great technique.
You use simple words which are good but not moving.
It does not show your true ability as a poet.
But you clearly have potential so do not stop writing!
I know, it's really short...
But I really didn't want this poem to be more than five stanzas long, so I guess I could've written more. I'll work on making it long. :]
I think SalmanK meant was not to make it longer but to use words with more meaning behind them, you know words that might move the reader. (Can't do that myself though...)
Okay, thank you. =^-^=
Just what IHI said.