Young Writers Society

Hey there! MapleWay here dropping by with a quick review!

This is such a cool format for a novel! I can't even express how unique and great it is! Tomorrow I am going to review most of the other parts! I REALLY hope you keep writing this! You most certainly have a gift! Keep up the absolutely fantastic writing! You are doing great! Sorry, the review was a tad short! I'll try and make the other reviews longer!

- Maple

Hi WishIHadASword,

Mailice here with a short review!

The title made me curious, as it sounds a bit paradoxical to put "lovely" and "assassin" together in one sentence.

Your letter turned out very well. It looks very authentic (even if the address and date are missing to make it even more authentic). I haven't found much to criticise. I think what I like most here is how you try to make this whole assassin story as normal as possible. Next to all the other things Amanda tells, it seems so weird and I love that. And yet it gives me this creepy feeling that something is wrong, especially with Amanda.

Presumably, you could now amuse yourself by analysing this letter in many psychoanalytical ways to find out what mental disorder Amanda is suffering from, but I think that's too much for the story. Especially as it seems to me that Blake is more of an assassin for the unjust.

Since it´s in a letter form, I really like to know now more about Amanda and how she thinks of different things. I think, especially with texts like that, it's important to then try to create the character in such a way that you can interpret it between the lines.

The writing style seems simple and good, just like you'd expect from a letter. I think that's what I liked most about it, that you didn't make it extravagant. You should definitely keep it that way.

I really liked the letter!

Mailice.

Hey there

First off, the title was really intriguing. It feels like a paradox almost, "LOVELY assassin letters". Seems those two don't really go together.

And second of all, wow ur acing it ! It's been what.. three days since you're on this site ? And you've already posted three chapters of your novel !! You're really motivated xD

-

MINUSES

Really, not much. I just felt that since this is a letter, addresses are needed. But since he's an assassin, maybe not the best idea to put his address on it. So how do the do it then ? It's a really tiny tiny detail, but it's still a detail.
Also, I don't really see where this is going. This is going to be a series of letters no ? But what's gonna happen in them ? Are they just going to send letters to each other and talk about their lives ?
I just don't really see where you can take this. usually letters are used to show two different point of views, for example in a book (it's French, but it's called "Inconnue à cette Adresse" if you want to check it out)

The main character (let's call him B) sends letters to his childhood friend, who's become a German soldier during WW2 (let's call him C). (C was also very clearly someone that believed in Nazi ideas.) And along their letters, B begins to say things hinting that C is Jewish. He was doing that on purpose as he was clearly against C's ideas, even though he was his childhood friend. And in the end, C stops responding to his letters as he's been caught- which was ultimately B's goal.

I know that this is a totally different book than the one you're working on, but as you can see there was something going on through the letters. So if you're planning on writing a novel with letters, maybe try having still a purpose and a plot behind them.

PLUSES

Everything else. The pace was good, the characters look interesting, and you've got a pretty good grasp on writing. The characters are really interesting, and it's nice to see the girl pour out her heart to him (her ?), even though he's an assassin. Maybe you could explore where this trust comes from, since usually assassins are not exactly the easiest to trust. So what happened to make them so close ? Is it because he's her childhood friend ? Or she met him some time ago and they fell in love or something ? It'd help flesh out the characters a bit more if you explore that side of their friendship.

Hey!

First of all, I really liked your title. It's intriguing without being too obvious. In short, it was perfect.

I really like how you portray the girl pouring her heart out to her friend. I like how she doesn't distrust him because of his secret side.

I don't know if this is a mistake, but isn't it usually like this -



In your story, you've written it like this:



Like I said, I'm not sure if that's a serious mistake, or if I've just been reading that symbol the wrong way around for years. In case it's the latter, sorry! My bad!

On the whole, I really liked the letter. I can't wait to read the next one.

Keep writing