Young Writers Society

Hello!

This hasn't been touched in a while.

I think this has... appeal to certain types of people. But for me, it's just not doing it. To me, it sounds like the plot from some chick flick (which are very popular movies!), but as a poem, it's not really pulling me in. What do I care about these girls? I really don't. I don't know them. You tell me what they do, you tell me some adjectives to describe them, but I don't connect with them. I think it might be a "show, don't tell" sort of thing. You need some images. You need some metaphors. Also, I don't see why the uniting of these girls would help. Sure it might help, you say "maybe," but It just sounds like you strung them together.

What do you want to show with this poem? I think emotion is very important in poetry, but I don't really feel anything when I read this.

That is not to say that you're a bad writer, no not in the least. This poem could use some vamping up though. Let me know if you have any questions on how to do that.

Keep writing!!

good poem I love it. Keep writing!

Hi! Sarah here, not necessarily to review, seeing as I can't find anything. I love this poem. It really does inject loneliness and emotion into the reader, without it feeling like the reader should feel sorry for the subject of the poem. If I had to say so myself, I think you just described me perfectly. You should seriously consider writing more poetry. I have the same situation that you do. I normally don't write poetry, but lately, I've been on a poetry kick. Good luck with yours, and as always.......

KEEP WRITING POETRY! I demand more!

First off-Why is this in the Vex folder when I put it in my Poetry folder???
Second-I don't usually like poetry, but I've seen some pretty cool poetry lately on YWS, so I got kinda inspired and expressed myself.