IF ONLY

Hey Dogs here for a review!

I really liked this poem, and can actually relate to it a lot!

I just have a couple of suggestions for ya!

1) Instead of having it like you do, you should put this poem into stanzas. The rhyme scheme would definitely come out more, and it would be easier for readers to read. It was honestly hard for me to see the rhyme scheme, but if you put it into stanzas it would be much more clear, and easier to see.

2)

And that left me, a story that should have been told.

Instead of saying "should have" I think you should use "should've" and connect the 2 words together to stick with the flow. When I read this i felt when reading "should have" messed up the flow but if you combine those words into "should've" then the flow would flow much easier.

That's all the suggestions and nitpicks I have for you today!

I really enjoyed reading this poem, it was very relatable. I feel like everyone has that regret, and everyone at some point in their life says "if only..." I know I do.

Anyway that's all!

I hope to read more works by you in the future!

Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs

Hey there! Hope you don't mind if I leave you with a quick review...

Firstly, The poem would be much easier to read and flow better, if you put it into stanzas or at least separated each sentence. if you have a steady rhyme scheme like you do, it helps to read easier and also helps to keep track of the beats in each line and keeping them similar.

If only I had said the things that I should.
Then they should have heard me.
If only I had listened to the things that I could.
Then I should'nt have felt empty.
If only I could see things as if they're gold.
Then I should'nt have been filled with vanity.
If only I had held the waiting hands in the cold.
Then I should'nt have been lonely.
If only I had learned to treasure and behold.
Then it should'nt have just become a memory.
And that left me, a story that should have been told.
In the end, I can only regret and say 'if only'.

Also, four times you used "should'nt" and, it should be "shouldn't".

Then they should have heard me.

Here, i feel like instead of should-would, would work better because if they never said the things they wanted to, the intended audience "would" have heard them. Purely my opinion, but i think it would flow a little bit better.

Other than that (honestly, most of that was nitpicks), I truly enjoyed your poem. These are thoughts even I often find myself thinking... "If only." regret is something most people can relate to on this level. My favorite part is when you say, "a story that should have been told.", very relatable and really resonated with me. You did a great job! I hope to read more of your work soon.

Keep writing,

-Katja