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A broken friendship

by Uni


Man is unpredictable and his actions are more or less deceiving, not to his eyes, though. Amidst the community of unpredictable creations of God, there lived two friends of different gender but same disposition.

The boy had compelled the girl’s interest when he had shifted near his house. That had given rise to a friendship that seemed unbreakable. It was not discreet, though. It was known to all and nearly all knew that they were not girlfriend or boyfriend. Except for those who still had this misconception.

Usually, they did everything together- ride to school, play, talk, have lunch and again play.

To the eyes of the common man, their routine seemed monotonous. Only the two knew that everyday there was always some incident which aroused interest.

This, however, changed in days. From that day on, the sun started shining ferociously. From that day on, nights were so silent that each one of them could distinctly hear the rustle of leaves. From that day on, each day appeared like a void that could never be filled with love, friendship and joy.

It happened like this.

The boy had, as a guest, a family friend of nearly the same age. Words couldn’t describe her beauty. Such was her grace.

There was no contender who could match the allure she possessed. Every boy vied for her attention.

Some wake up early so as to have a glimpse of her, watering the plants. Others made it a routine to peek inside the house through the window until they were d=shooed away by any figure of authority. Although they were almost always unsuccessful as drapes obstructed their vision, they never stopped trying, believing that when there is a will, there is a way.

“She has deep eyes, as blue as the ocean. She has a slim waist, perfect complexure, small nose and silky, auburn hair,” one boy, who has had the pleasure of noting every bit of the angel, would tell the others who merely had dreamy fantasies about her.

It was one insufferable evening when the girl realised that enough was enough. Her friend had to make a choice between her and his cousin. Her expression had emerged from the fact that she was jealous of anyone who dared to creep close to her friend. She was not to be blamed for it. It is part of human nature.

As she stood there, she noticed the sky having a riot of colours- blue, pink, yellow and interpreted the colours as different memories.

Needless to say, she was thinking of him, who began to have an altered temperament, since the arrival of the third party.

Furious and anxious, she marched to his house to solve the matter forever. To end the chapter of either their friendship or the interfering girl’s life.

If he had forgotten her, she decided to ignore him till that friend of his leaves.

“I’ll stop talking to him for the rest of my life,” she said, sounding convinced.

Birds had stopped chirping. The sun had gone to sleep. The moon struggled for apace amid the thousand stars that had reserved their places. And silence enveloped the neighbourhood.

‘Knock-knock’ went the door knob. Half regretful, half confused, she turned back. Just as she did, she was compelled to stop. What her eyes registered, baffled her.

(I am leaving it till here for you to guess what she saw)       


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User avatar
66 Reviews


Points: 4094
Reviews: 66

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Thu Jun 06, 2019 7:56 pm
silvermoon17 wrote a review...



My friends see me as someone which prefers Stephen King, tumors and gory kills over romance in movies and films, although I also love romance, broke friendships, lost sister stuff etc.. this is one of the best pieces I’ve seen so far. The less action-packed story compared to other stories, and more.. passive state of the narrator, just made me read this thing until the end. I love how you represent the prevailing of love, even though, as I said, dialogue is scarce and action even less. This may seem like a bundle of words and monotonous plots, although your story is great, keep the good work, but keep the blandness from it :)




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8 Reviews


Points: 920
Reviews: 8

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Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:16 am
Awru says...



Oh no I think I posted my review thingy in the reply section.(embarrassed laughter).




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44 Reviews


Points: 231
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Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:54 pm
shieldmaiden wrote a review...



Hey! You can't leave it like that (well, actually you can as the writer, but that's just plain torture)! I really liked this piece. I'm a fan of love that develops from friendship. Friendship is important and when two friends happen to fall in love eventually, it seems more real and natural. They already know and care deeply about the other.

So, I'm a bit displeased that I have no idea as to how this ends. Plus, you mentioned that the pretty girl (the one ruining the friendship) was the boy's cousin - perhaps you should omit that. If this story takes place in this day and age then - ew. It shouldn't be too hard for the boy to make up his mind. Having feelings for your blood relation is unacceptable. However, it's quite understandable if you are writing in a period age. They did that all the time back then. (Explains a few things don't ya think ;) )

If you don't finish this story for presentation sake, could you please reply below and tell me what you were planning? I'm dying from curiosity!

Keep up the great writing!

-Shieldmaiden




Uni says...


Thanks for correcting me. I am sending you a pm. Please check.



Awru says...


Wow!!That was just amazing.I absolutely loved how you visually described everything.I am new to this site too joined yesterday%uD83D%uDE06.I think you should update your profile a bit.Just a Suggestion.



Uni says...


Thanks Awru



Uni says...


How's the new profile. Cute, huh?



Awru says...


It melted me XD




cron
We're all stories in the end.
— 11th Doctor