*I have written this poem to describe how I feel people would react, if I told them my secret.. PM me to know*
Why do you stare?
You don't even care.
Why am I strange?
You want me to change?
I stand before you,
Radiate anew.
I may not be whole,
But that's not my goal.
How am I odd?
Not like you are god.
How am I seen,
If I'm so unclean?
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137,699 Literary Works • 672,061 Reviews
Thanks Kattie! As you can see, I worked to keep the same rhythm here.
I love the rhythm in this poem its just so easy to read and I love the use of questions, make you think and actually wonder whats behind it, you dont give a lot away but I think that makes it easier to relate to. I really like this, good job
Thank you very much! It's always encouraging to hear praise. If you liked this as much as you claim, then I suggest looking at my other works.
EDIT:
StoryWeaver: Thank you for your input, I'll keep that thought in mind next time.
Well this was pretty good, but the real problem I had with this was that I just never felt like it completely came full-circle in what it was trying to say. Honestly I think this was a situation where the rhyme scheme was restricting you from completely letting out everything you had to say, because you condensed it into rhyming couplets. It just made it seem a little sing-songy and caused it to lose some of its force. All the same, I felt like this was a decent poem, and I like the topic.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver
Very emotional! I liked how I could pick out the rhythm as soon as I started in on it. It's very mysterious, and I've read it over like five times, and I still don't know exactly what you're talking about. I'd love to know what it's about! I also like the rhyme scheme; it's over-used, but you made it pretty intelligible. I love it. Great job!