Dandelions

Thank you all!

Dreamy115 wrote:She could remember the dandelions,
Sweet and yellow, I moved the comma to replace the period so that the sentence would continue more fluidly.
And she had always wished for them to be honeysuckle
Because she heard it was sweet, too.
But she had never tasted it,
And as she got older,
as the dandelions flew away
On little white wings,
as the honey turned to sadness
And its taste turned metal,
She realised that fall had already come
And the yellow was gone.

i like this poem, it makes sense and gives a big impression about how we lose our innocence as we get older and that causes us to think very different of when we were younger, i also like the fact that its short and sweet, some poems just drone on and on and become less understandable, but this is completely understandable great job!

Hola Dreamy!

I like this. It's short and sweet, and to the point. So...I guess my review is gonna be short, sweet, and to the point as well. Well, there really isn't much I think you could improve on here, except maybe adding more emotion and detail. Also, you start off a great deal of your lines with "and," and it reads like a big run-on sentence at parts. I think if you maybe made this longer and split it into stanzas you could avoid that problem and simultaneously give more detail and emotion.

Anyway, I wish there was something more I could say! Let me know if you need any help with it.

-Knightley