Serendipity

You're getting better, at least this is something entirely different from your scary stories heheheh I love the story within the poem, It made me teary eyed in a good way of course. Keep writing, It would be nice one day if I could get a copy of your book one day with your autograph on It :p. Missyou Ches! -Chichi

This is so lovely! Heartbreaking, and terribly sad, but lovely all the same.

I LOVED the perspective, and the narration was brilliant!

Its so sad to think that he gets to see her moving on, but shapely because she has moved on, and we wouldn't want her spending her life missing him.

I also adored the ending, that now he seen her move on, he feels he can finally go on as well and that's beautiful!


Really amazing job! I agree that you should separate the stanzas but apart from that I thought this was really wonderful!

Hey Tiny here! (SB's don't get exited I'm not returning for good)

I would just like to say that this poem is wonderful, gorgeous and strung with elaborate jealousy. It rhymed beautifully capturing a talent I fail to own (you're one of the lucky ones, don't waste your talent. Ever.) I'm in that situation myself at the moment where I feel like I belong to someone else who is just to blind to see me. This hit me hard man, seriously. The only suggestion I have to you is to separate your sections off which I will take the time to for you now.

CodeSelect all

She was one of a kind

I never met a girl that I can call mine

Too bad I have to go away to the sky

And left her without a smile


I could watch her cry while sitting on the chair

I feel devastated and happy because I could see how much she care

But she’s so far away

Until everything became grey


I saw a man held her shoulder to cheer her up

I was happy someone gave her a warm cup


Because warm cups always make that beautiful girl smile

Just even for a short little while

I had the feeling of my heart is breaking

But I can’t help it since I’m not living


I’m also happy because I feel this guy is a serendipity

A serendipity that will take her to the a big city


Years and months passed by

I still look after my wife

My wife who wears a different man’s ring

My wife who already have another new king


I knew that guy is a serendipity to her

Love found her in the middle of agony and suffer

Love found her as if it was looking for another love.

Serendipity flew to her like a dove


Now that she’s happy and at ease

I could go to the light and accept the wonderful breeze


Thank you for giving me the freedom to enter the gate

Even though it took me a little late

I love you my dearest wife

Thanks for the memories you gave me while I still have a life

Thanks for the review guys x3 I'm just taking a break from writing so, i'm very sorry if I haven't replied or published anything yet. I'm still working some of my works and i'm currently, finishing my novel for the NanoWrimo's writing contest. I do appreciate all the support and compliments you say about my works. I do read some of your stories and poems too, but I don't have enough time to write a review about it. Since I myself needs to do some other stuff in my life. But soon I will make a review. Besides, I need to earn points again. I'm slowly losing them ;-;

But please do keep on writing and someday we all soon be an amazing writer :>