Young Writers Society

Greetins, WarriorMingan! Lee's here to drop a review for your lovely poem!

I'll let you know right away that I think you've chosen a good, solid subject to write on. It's a poem that isn't so subjective or targeted that only a few people can relate to it, but rather one that is bound to pique the interest of most readers. Simply put, most of us can relate to it.

regarding your structure, however, I have some misgivings. I enjoy writing blank verse myself, and don't have a problem with that, but I'm confused regarding how you've used punctuation. In some laces, it aptly ends a sentence, but in others it is simply non-existent. This didn't create a flow, it just confused me; take this stanza.

Is it grand

With spires

And spiral stairs

With delicate china

And an abundance of rooms?

This place that we’ve found

Where friendships blossom

And old ones never fade

This is why we love a place

This is Home~

Hi TheWarriorMingan!! I'm here to review your work.

First of all, I really loved the idea that you have tried to express so beautifully in this poem, that homeliness and people are the main reasons why we love a place. I can count numerous places I love, but they don't have any special attributes, neither grandeur nor poverty.
Anyway, so let's begin with the review.

STRUCTURE
This is a point where I really appreciate this poem. I feel, in blank verses, structure does play a role for the flow. The structure of your poem was very interesting. And it provided a really good flow to your poem.

LANGUAGE
The language used was great too. Not too modern, which was good since this is an evergreen message.


Suggestions

The ones who hug and cry

For Goodbyes and Hellos?

Hi slubbs here with a review:D

I liked this poem a lot it was an interesting concept.

The wording had a really nice flow, that’s hard to do without rhyming but you absolutely perfected that!

I agree with the other reviewers, I love how you build up to the points adding more detail.

“Breaking sweat and breaking bread
The ones who hug and cry”

This was my favourite part! I kept reading it and thinking wow what a cool and meaningful line.

Anyhow the only thing I would change is the exit line. It didn’t roll off my tongue like the rest did.

Overall this was an exquisite poem!
I hope to see more of your works. Have a good day, and continue on your writing journey:D

Hi! I'm here for a quick review.

I like the topic and the simplicity of this poem. It's not all complicated, it's easily understandable. I really like the way you build up to the main point (I could use that style too) (Hope you don't see it as stealing your style). The questions, hypothetical or not, really makes the reader think. Though it doesn't rhyme, the words simply roll off my tongue, something that I really appreciate (I find it hard to write like that). The alignment also somehow enhances the point.

My favourite part was this :

Do we love a place for the people?

The ones who give us strength

Who brighten our day

A place where friends abide

Greeting life and crying death

Working side by side



I liked the ending, it wrapped up the entire poem nicely.

I have no critiques for this poem, it's perfect!

Keep Writing!

Hi Mingan!
Here's a short review for you today!

Do we love a place for the people?

The ones who give us strength

Who brighten our day

A place where friends abide

This is why we love a place

This is where we call Home~