not myself.

Hey there, Toasted! Consider this a return gift for the tarot reading you just promised me. Don't mind as I help out myself through this as well. Let's get started!

Do with it what you will.

An atypical work you say? I know just the thing for this. Behold- my festive review template!












In the work, the poetess repeatedly expresses how doesn't feel like herself these days. She's exhausted of always seeing the best in everything and thus questions if hoping really is worth it. There's another interesting aspect of the poetry- the subject. Throughout the stanzas, she mentions that someone else needs her for suppot. Despite struggling with her own battles, we see the poetess try to be by that person's side too. We see her begin to hope again and become stronger, if not for herself then for the loved one she's looking after. But this appears more like self neglected and caring for others. There is also a subtle irony in the tons of the final lines, as if the poetess has built up a resentment against the subject for not giving them time to pick themself up in the time of need.

I am trying my hardest to be,
Something we all need.

Okay, THIS SLAPS! The poetess reducing herself to mere usefulness to others- how very ironically dramatic. Like she's struggling herself and thus, fails everyone's expectations to handle things as she used to.

'Cause you need ears, you need eyes, you need a voice deep inside.
You need someone, something, anything, to hold you at night

Another taunt suggesting the selfish subject cares for the poetess no more beyond what they need her for. I'm surprised you very successfully managed to portray such a cold character with no direct appearance or dialogue of theirs.

Took your hand, dug you out of the grave you dug yourself.

Despite all the I'll treatment she endures from the subject, the poetess is narrated to save them from their self-sabotagial tendencies. It's such a powerful scene. Without the aiding hand of the poetess, the subject is no more than a corpse to be.



There is a very real possibility that I'm just chronically dumb but a lot of these significant lines didn't get across to me. Let me show you where this didn't land-

I didn't ask you to try again,
I didn't mean to upset them,

For the very first lines, these prove to be utterly confusing. Unlike the lines following these two, there is not much content to go with. The idea isn't really clear or coherent. I'd even go as far as to say the tones and themes seem to contradict. Separated and included in a more fitting stanza, these lines might have worked way better than they do here.

But I'll still hold my head up high
'Cause you still need me.

I get what you're trying to say here but the phrase 'holding head up high' acts like a missed dart. That phrase signifies pride in the face of adversity. This meaning might've actually go along really well if the theme centred around the fight of poetess against a tough time a little more. Instead there's a helpless and satirical narrative about assisting others even when the poetess can herself barely function. A sudden shift in the focus from the life challenges to the subject doesn't give enough room for the line to really bloom. I believe this part coul also have flourished better if recycled elsewhere. In it's present form though, I suggest this simple alternative-

But I must slay my inner demons / But I must shake this anxious feeling
'Cause you still need me

Pulled the rope up the hill,

This one I take entire responsibility for not being able to understand . Is this a Jack and Jill reference? (Now I'm gonna sound real stupid if it's not)
Just consider this insight about what the dumb audience my struggle with. I think the lack of correlation makes interpretation a little tricky here.

I'll keep talking. Push the conversation, make it last.

This felt so vulnerable and personal to read. The poetess makes all these efforts and yet, the subject doesn't show interest in their talks. It's her who needs to dig up topics and drag it on. How very fascinating.. It's certainly a unique addition, for sure.

And I've pushed again and again
To try and make you understand
That I need space to fix what I didn't mend.

Such a raw and intimate scene. I do think the last line needs a little refining but the idea in itself is really incredible. What has felt like a passive sarcastic ode to the subject has turned out to be a song about his ignorance. They had the benefit of doubt before, that perhaps they are so dependent on her that they don't realise her inner battles. But now that the poetess has written of this occurrence, the leverage of the potential excuse no longer remains. It's like the poetess is finally voicing how hard it's been on her. She's taking a stand for herself, even if the subject refuses to acknowledge it. Bravo to her! This was my favorite part, considering it's significance in the the bigger picture.

Lastly, the stanza where you switch the 'I can't' to 'I'll' was the best executions I've ever seen. It does an entire 180 on the meaning and yet remains relevant to the evolving theme.

With this, I sign off from this review. Wishing you happy holidays! Here's to hoping I get to read more of such brilliant works from you soon. 🥂

Until then, Keep Writing
Alex