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Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Rejuvenated Light, (Chapter One.)

by Terian805


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

“State your name and nationality for the Archives.”

“Alexa Stepanov, North Aerisian.”

“And your date of death?”

“14th June, 2089.”

The man in front of her tapped away at his computer, staring down at the screen below him, with glazed, bored eyes. He was probably a Program built into the Haven’s massive computer system, so considering the fact that he’d probably spent most of his existence sitting in this very room, she couldn’t blame him for being bored.

It was far from a boring room though. Alexa found herself looking about from where she sat, whilst she waited for him to finish typing. Shimmering blue light strobed across the ceiling floor and walls, merging and splitting in infinite, interlocking masses. It was almost hypnotic.

“Ahem.” Coughed the Program, and she flicked her eyes back to him.

“Sorry.” She said. “Just admiring the decorating.”

“State your withdrawal code.” Intoned the Program, ignoring her.

“X2095157715146823.”

“Your globe number.”

“487452X.”

“And please describe your assigned role as a Rejuvenated Lightform on Earth.”

“I’m going to work as a bodyguard and...companion, I suppose, to a Princess in South Africa.”

The Program nodded, looking dangerously close to satisfied as he finished tapping away at his computer.

“Please step towards the Pod please.” He said, gesturing to the left.

Alexa turned her head and was surprised to see a glass-globe appear out of nowhere. She never knew what was real and what was programmed in this place. She would likely be in a computer program right now, her data inserted into some kind of extraction program. Or maybe she wasn’t. If she could have headaches, she was sure she’d be getting one now.

She stood and wandered over to it, seeing a cushioned seat inside and pulling open a small door, which allowed her to push herself in and sit down. She pulled shut the glass door and leaned back into the seat, watching the blurred blue light through the translucent glass.

“Please place the head-set on.” Came the reverberating voice of the program.

Alexa turned and found one beside her, so complied. “You’re polite for a program.” She called out, and of course was met with no answer.

“Please lean back, relax, and close your eyes. For many Lightforms this experience can feel....unusual.” He continued.

There was a whirring, like a robot booting up, and it was getting louder and louder, almost swallowing Alexa up.

“Do you have any advice for me?” She called out, giving it one last try.

There was a moments silence, before the same bored sounding voice replied to her.

“Do as you’re told.”

And everything exploded into blue light.

***

She was falling, endlessly.

She still sat within the globe, yet outside there was a vortex of swirling, kaleidoscopic colour, which never seemed to end, as the globe fell,

And fell,

And fell, whilst she screamed like a madwoman, with euphoria or terror, she couldn’t tell.

And all of a sudden, she landed noiselessly. She was on a beach, a sandy one, which she was looking out from where she sat within the glass.

There were great, jagged cliff faces, which curved up above the ground like tidal waves, reaching for the lustrous blue sky. And in the distance there was some great, metal building which towered over the cliffs. It was ringed by clouds, it was so high. She thought she could see ships, flying machines which shot through the skies. They were entering and leaving the building at will, like moths to a candle.

But then there was a human sound. The sound of happy, girlish, laughter ringing across the beach, though it was muffled from where Alexa sat in the globe; four girls of varying ages, all with raven hair and pale skin, the oldest about nineteen, the youngest about eight. They were skipping across the beach together grinning and laughing in each other’s company, running for the tower with the sun beaming down on their pretty faces.

And then Alexa was sucked back into the vortex again, and she began screaming again, screaming and screaming, before the globe almost seemed to shatter and she was sent spiralling out into the vortex,

before she landed, slamming into a stone floor, rolling, and lying there for a few moments, feeling inexorably sick.

“Um...hello?”

She glanced upwards to see a man looking down at her with concerned eyes, his head ringed with ceiling lights.

“So....” Said the other. “I’ve never really done this before. Do I give you a hand up, or is that not possible...you being made of energy and all. Or can you get up?”

Alexa nodded laboriously. “I can get up.” And she did so.

The man she came face to face with was nothing special in particular, save his sparkling green eyes. He was dark skinned, with dark combed back hair, and a ghost of a smile on his face. Powerfully built however, with a weapon slung over his shoulder. Obviously not someone to mess with, despite his smiling attitude

He held out his hand, and Alexa tried her best to shake it, her hand almost passing through his sometimes. Damn, so this was what it was to be a Lightform on earth. It was going to be annoying, that was for sure

“Welcome back to life.” He grinned, speaking with a light accent. “My name is Jason Cloud. I’m an envoy for Princess Lesedi of South Africa. I believe you’ve been beamed down to work for us?”

He held up a small glass globe, etched with various markings. Her Light-Globe. She'd been told about that, and the strong link she'd have to it. Jason was obviously holding it up to demonstrate how he had her in his grasp.

She disliked him already.

“Um yeah.” She said. “To my knowledge.”

“Well if you’ll come with me...” Said Jason, “My craft is parked outside. We’ve got a long journey ahead of us.”

He turned and began to walk towards the open entrance to the cave in which they were in. Alexa glanced about her, seeing various glass globes, stacked in towering shelves. More places for Rejuvenated Lightforms to beamed down no doubt. She looked ahead, to see the exit they were heading for, and only saw blue open sky ahead.

“What’s your name?” Jason called back.

“Alexa. And sorry I have to ask. Where am I? This seems pretty worn down for a Beaming Centre. Being a cave and all.”

Jason laughed. “You’re just off the edge of Rome. I don’t know how long you’ve been stored, but the Vatican doesn’t like Rejuvenation whatsoever. Any Beaming centres are pretty out the way in this country, nobody knows about them apart from people like yours truly.”

Rome, she could vaguely remember Rome.

They’d left the cave now, and had come out onto a jagged cliff edge, which jutted out into a yawning valley. Alexa almost gasped to see the mountains and grasslands stretching as far as she could see into the distance.

Jason led her to his craft around the corner. It looked rickety and unreliable at first glance, with wheels, and wings that were relying on a sail structure. Alexa said as much, and Jason laughed again. He seemed to find everything amusing.

“Don’t you worry Alexa. My girl’s never failed me in any journey.”

It took her a moment to figure out he meant the craft.

Jason pulled off the glass windshield and climbed inside. There were four seats, spread apart, and an open area in the back. Alexa made herself comfortable in one.

“So where are you from? Where were you, that is. I don’t recognise your accent.” Jason said, as he fiddled with various levers and buttons, starting the craft up with a low hum.

“North Aeris.” Alexa replied simply.

“Anything more than that?”

“Nothing.”

“You don’t remember?”

“Of course I don’t remember!” She exclaimed. “I don’t fucking remember anything right now. When you become a goddamn Lightform, you’ll understand.”

“Well you remember how to swear like anything. That’s for bloody sure.” Jason chuckled.

The craft was beginning to lift off the cliff edge now, the wings exploding outwards, and the engine beginning to roar. Jason wound it up from it’s position, and began to rise at great speed. Alexa looked up to see them heading for the top of the cliff, which they were about to cross over, to whatever lay beyond.

And then she saw what lay beyond, as Jason flew the craft up and over the cliff edge into the open air. Her mouth hung open with amazement, as she saw Rome.

It was a multi layered city, with buildings expanding for miles towards the horizon, and buildings situated in the skies as well: held up by anti-gravity tech, and linked by a network of interlocking bridges and islands. And there were hundreds upon hundreds of craft just like Jason’s, shooting back and forth throughout the air, up to the higher levels of the city, and down to the lower levels again.

Jason looked back and smiled at her amazement.

“Yeah, welcome to a new world I suppose. When you get your memories back, this world's going to look very different to the one you remember.”


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User avatar
12 Reviews


Points: 775
Reviews: 12

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Sun Mar 25, 2018 1:38 pm
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HalfbloodFangirl wrote a review...



I'm HalfbloodFangirl, here with a review for you!

General
Great job! Not much of a futuristic fan but good coming from someone who does not particularly enjoy this genre.

Punctuation and Wording
"'Ahem.' Coughed the Program" was a little strange, reading. It sounds okay, but maybe change it to "'Ahem,' the Program coughed," to make it look a little less wonky.

"with glazed, bored eyes." was a little bit weird to read, too. Try taking out either glazed or bored. That would sound much better.

Other Nitpicky Stuff
There was a random paragraph break in the middle of this paragraph:

"And then Alexa was sucked back into the vortex again, and she began screaming again, screaming and screaming, before the globe almost seemed to shatter and she was sent spiralling out into the vortex,

before she landed, slamming into a stone floor, rolling, and lying there for a few moments, feeling inexorably sick."

Also in this paragraph, again was used too many times. The entire paragraph is only one sentence. That is a major run-on. Also spiraling is misspelled. May I suggest:

And then Alexa was sucked back into the vortex again. She began screaming. Screaming and screaming, before the globe almost seemed to shatter and she was sent spiraling out into the vortex. Then she landed, slamming into a stone floor, rolling, and lying there for a few moments, feeling inexorably sick.

Read that and see if it's better. Overall, I think this is good, with some wording and spelling errors here and there. Keep writing!




User avatar
351 Reviews


Points: 11482
Reviews: 351

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Sun Mar 25, 2018 4:20 am
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Kanome wrote a review...



Hello, Terian805. I am here to provide you a review in honor of Review Day. Let's get started, shall we?

Overall Opinion
I am not much of a sci-fi fan, but I have to say, I personally enjoyed this story. It was intriguing and interesting. Alexa seems like character I would love to get to know throughout the whole story, I hope you do continue this. Jason looks interesting too. I don't know romance will be in this story, but it will be an interesting addition to do so.

Nitpicks and Stuff
The only issue I had was that your characters' development seemed vague? Like, what does Jason even look like? Alexa? That would be information your reader would like to know.

Conclusion
Just make sure you describe your characters. You don't have to go all-out. Just enough for your readers to get a visual on what they look like. That's all I have to say. Keep up the great work! Can't wait to read more of your novel.
Keep writing ~

- Kanome





The adjective should reinvent the noun.
— Leslie Norris