Nobody likes weeds.
That tiny morsel of satisfaction one feels
As they uproot it
from the earth it pitifully clings to…
That is what I am waiting for.
I never wanted to be a dandelion,
let alone one with petals of twilight.
I am singled out because I am blue,
and trampled upon more than most
because I am too different.
Too blue.
My mother…
She always used to tell me
that I am a flower,
not a weed,
but after such immeasurable years
of being told otherwise
by all the flowers in the garden,
how can I not believe what the flowers say?
People like them;
They are beautiful.
Hence I remain,
Twilight petals wilting,
Waiting to be dug up,
Waiting for someone to enjoy
that tiny morsel of satisfaction
As they uproot all that I am.
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,840 Reviews
First off, let me just say that this poem is beautifully written, just amazing.
I like how you throw in some rhymes here and there, normally I would think that to be sort of weird, but In this poem, it just.... fits in. (I have a difficult time explaining things when my mind has been blown...XD)
I love this poem!!! Keep writing!
-SnazzyPencil
Haha many thanks!
Hi! Id just like to first off say that this poem is absolutely beautiful
) feel is on point, and I think the use of flowers and weeds is a very creative way to portray these feelings.
I think the way that it is so personal really drew me in, like I was getting a glimpse into someone else's inner mind and thoughts.
The fact that you close the poem with the same imagery (idea?) as the opening really completes/gives the poem a finished feel.
I, and I think many more can relate to this piece of work. The way that it reflects on our society and how it can make individuals (yes individuals that are just as important as anyone else, definitely not 'weeds'
It really struck me how, this Dandelion being very unhappy by how they were treated, would rather suffer leaving the earth rather then flourishing to prove the flowers wrong. I think that this is a big issue people face these days and this is a great way to bring light to it.
The way that the dandelion accepts that they will inevitably be plucked from the earth is a very sad thing, even more sad is that they know they will be bringing someone else satisfaction through that act but do not have any strength left to care
Overall I really enjoyed this piece of writing and I can see nothing to critique you on
keep on writing!
-Terangikaira
Wow thank you very much for the wonderful review! ^^
Hey! AJ here for a quick review.
First off, thank you!! You used punctuation!
(It makes it so much easier to read in my book)
Anywhoo, this was such a lovely imagery. You captured the idea beautifully! And although it's not the formatting I tend to use, it fits the poem nicely. I really don't have any critique on this, except I wish it was longer. Keep on writing!
-ajruby12
Thank you! ^^
Amazing job! You adequately portrayed the way one feels after hearing one is no good over and over again. I could really hear the hopelessness in this poem. Beautifully written. Impecable flow. This a true work of art. Keep writing.
--MS
Aw thank you ^^
Heya! Gravity here for a review.
I was previously Defyingravity01, just got my username changed. (I sortof have to put that in the beginning of all my reviews since the name change happened less than a week ago)
This poem was beautiful. I can relate to it and I feel it's something that tons of other people can relate to as well. How it feels to be the odd one out, the one who doesn't look like a model. The one who feels like a waste of space. Like a weed
Anyway, on to the review. I noticed this sort of has a free verse feel to it. But there's one place in this poem that's really jolting for me.
This part comes right after "Too blue." I think here is the natural stanza break. Here's a hint for formatting. If you just want one space between lines, hit shift-enter instead of just enter. If you want two spaces, (the way the lines are separated here), THEN hit enter. See? Anyway, I think those two parts really should be separated.
I think the punctuation here could be changed and made better. You use a lot of commas, which creates several run on sentences. If I were you, I would make these lines "that I am a flower,/not a weed./But after such immeasurable years"
That way "That I am a flower, not a weed." Is a complete thought.
My favorite part is the ending. I really like that you close with repitition, echoing what the beginning said. That someone is just waiting to dig you up and throw you away for their own satisfaction.
Now for my own personal advice to you. I would say that you aren't a weed, you're a flower. But I know from experience that no matter how many times somebody calls you beautiful, usually unless it's from a romantic interest... it doesn't have much impact. So instead of saying you're not a weed (which you're not), I'm going to be honest. When I was younger, I loved dandelions. Especially the ones that I could make a wish with. Kill your inner weed. Confidence is beautiful. There have been times when people have told me I look beautiful because I was particularly confident. You know the phrase "fake it til' you make it"? It's true. Act confident until you FEEL confident. And even if you don't feel confident, others will notice which might help you feel like less like a weed.
One of my favorite quotes is this: Never frown, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
XOXO,
Gravity
First of all, thanks so much for the wonderful review and your personal advice! <3
But I'm still confused about formatting... I actually did separate the lines into stanzas, but it took them out when I posted it. Shift enter = 2 returns (1 space in between stanzas)?
Hit shift and then enter. Make sure its shift first and you hold it down while you press enter. That equals one return.
Okay I'll try that! Thanks!