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139,521 Literary Works • 672,597 Reviews
I haven't even thought about this story in a year and a half.
**LOCKED** Once I figure out how to work the new moderator panel...
You simply must write more to this series. It would be a disservice to the world not to.
Planter? I am perplexed.
-ing verbs are lame. "She blinked a few times, and her hopes started a long and soon to be..."
I love the second part of this sentence. So witty!
Make the stuff after the comma its own sentence.
I love, love, love that you say it was angry-looking.
Does furiously add anything to this sentence? No. Cut it.
So, OK, I really love this.
The only thing I can say is that you got a bit too British for them to be in America. Colour, mum, rubbish--Brit slang is fun, but aren't they in America?
Srsly [to steal your lingo], this is amazing. I really enjoy it, and I want more, and I love your characters. I will now go bite on you until you give me more.
Good. I liked this one. I think Carolina's anxienty was just right, and the excitement about having somebody actually sit with her at lunch. I could really feel for her.
This was the only thing I could find wrong. What is a planter? I have absolutely no idea what you're saying here? Is it a typo, or something, like, American?
Apart from that it was really good. Can't wait for part 5!
why wont Ronald be her friend? is he gonna be a complete "jerk" to her like every one else? really good chapter but i don't really like that last part... not because of what happened but it just didn't sound right to me... i don't... cant wait till part five!
Oh, poor Carolina... once again, you do an absolutely awesome job of helping us get to know and identify with your characters.
Gah, don't you just hate it when stuff like that happens? Lunch monitors can be so mean. XD I still remember when they used to blame my grade for trash on the other side of the cafeteria from where we sat. [/random] This seems like a teeny bit of a run-on to me, "it was just another injustice in a long line of injustices." Could easily be its own sentence. But as is, it helps with the mood of the scene... gah, I'm so indecisive. XD
Great chapter as always, your work is just... awesome. Can't wait for chapter five! *impatient* ^_^