Deleted. Check my blog as per reasons why, in the entry entitled "Sigh."
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter The Assassin King pt. 3Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I hate when I do that. I follow my use of "he" more than I do his actual name. Sorry.
That paragraph made me chuckle. =D The simple note kinda fits the character that wrote it... who will be introduced next.
Thank you. =D
I found the style simple and easy to follow. However you say "Steven" far to many times, we know who the scene is about so "He" will do just fine.
The last bit is a tad cliche - but - It depends in what you make it into. I would have prefered a more fantastical element to be in the envelope as opposed to a simple note. Maybe the letters appear in his own blood and he is cut as it appears in the air. Maybe thats just my dark fantasy side coming out.
Overall, in terms of writing I liked the simplicity of it without the need of masses of description.
Keep Going.