Phorcys wrote:I found the style simple and easy to follow. However you say "Steven" far to many times, we know who the scene is about so "He" will do just fine.
The last bit is a tad cliche - but - It depends in what you make it into. I would have prefered a more fantastical element to be in the envelope as opposed to a simple note. Maybe the letters appear in his own blood and he is cut as it appears in the air. Maybe thats just my dark fantasy side coming out.
Overall, in terms of writing I liked the simplicity of it without the need of masses of description.
Keep Going.
I hate when I do that. I follow my use of "he" more than I do his actual name. Sorry.
(that's at myself)
That paragraph made me chuckle. =D The simple note kinda fits the character that wrote it... who will be introduced next.
Thank you. =D
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