Young Writers Society

Hey there!

This is so cute. I really love it. I feel like I'm always going on and on about how unique every piece of work on this site is...but it's the truth. Everyone here thinks like no one else and I love reading your thoughts on a page.

The emotion in this piece is fantastic. I love the beat you have going in every two lines. I'm not super great at poetry, but yours really reads like art. You leave me wondering a little bit, a little starry-eyed. The metaphors and imagery are absolutely gorgeous, too.

I will definitely be reading more from you.

-M

This is so sweet! The chosing of words is on point. Love the narure methaphores a lot. They have this wonderful romantic feel to them without being to abstract, truly perfectly balanced. Another thing that I admire is when you use some of the same words in two sentences in a row and twist them around. For example in the beginning and in the second last part.

Usually I don't like when writers skip using full stops in their poetry. However I think you made it work since you split the text up wisely so it still was easy to read.

I also like the title, both memorable and beautiful. Your name (or just username, I don't know) also sounds like the name of a real world famous poet .

The only thing I would change is the last line. Personally I would prefer "I thought, but then i saw you" to give it more rhytm. But that's just my opinion and it's totally up to you.

Wonderful poem, keep writing!

Hello,

This is really nicely written! Every line just holds a poetic and deep meaning around love. I like how you switched around the words in the first and fourth stanza to give each one a different meaning, but with the same words. Overall, this poem is really meaningful!

Keep Writing.