In a garden that is devoured with flowers lies a purple bunch. It’s weird really, every time I look at it from a daisy it looks as if it’s been painted into the picture. I wonder how long I would be sitting up here, let alone gazing at the garden this family has. I don’t live in that house though; the door is always slammed shut at my face which hurts my eyes because the dust dances in my vision and landing on my spectacles with is absolutely frustrating! Believe me, if I had a petal for every time that happened I would be completely rich and famous in the world I’m in now.
So, I might as well tell you who I am before you go on and stab me with questions. Wait, I should actually be more formal about this, shouldn’t I? I’m sorry, I’ll start over. Hello and how do you do? I’m the Lavender Prince, the one that takes care of the flowers and whatnot while you guys are on holidays or sick. Now, this is probably confusing you right now so I’ll put it frank, I’m the one hiding in your garden and I watch you, full of glee and excitement, as you run around in the yard after the dog.
I wish I could be like you lot, running around after the animals and laughing full heartily at absolutely nothing at all but unfortunately for me, I have a job to do. My eyes dart from one flower to another and they finally land on a brown spot blotched on a flower petal. I frown, lifting my cape and jump off, falling face first towards the ground. This is when I realize that the wind isn’t picking up as it usually does around here. Oh no, not this again! Mother Nature, I swear if you dump me on the floor and end up getting me a cut on the palm of my hand again I’ll scream! The ground comes closer at my face like it’s being zooming in. This is it; it’s the end of my life. I shall never come back again!
I’m not met with the ground though, in fact, far from it. I open my eyes to see my feet dangling and my arms holding on tightly to my cape as it’s all puffed up. I’m flying, I’m actually flying! This is the moment I’ve been dreaming of! You see, I’ve always wanted to fly for as long as I could remember, wanting to be a bird and something that could dance in the wind! Wait, I should be more formal, huh? I cough, blinking as I watch my body sway to the left as the wind brushes my hair into my face.
As I was saying before, I’ve always wanted to sore through the sky and be free with the clouds. When I was younger, I had asked Mother Nature if I could be a bird, or at least a Bird Prince. The amount of times I have begged and pleaded with that lady is unimaginable, but the same answer always spits out of her mouth. No, absolutely not, no way on this Earth and my personal favourite not on my dead body, Lavender. Do you understand what I’m babbling on about now? I just want to be able to do something extraordinary but I cannot, she won’t let me.
I sigh as I fly over towards the flower, landing on my own two feet on the infected petal. My eyes widen in worry, it’s dying. The poor flower is crying in pain and the smell isn’t normal. It’s this weird smell, like that stuff you drink in the big mugs early in the morning. What was it called again? Don’t stare at me like I’m sort of lunatic, I know what I’m talking about. It’s this brown liquid that wakes you up for some odd reason. Well, whatever it is, I really don’t want you to spill it on the flowers. It makes them sick and they end up crying their life away.
That’s it; I have had enough with you people. I will end this madness right now, I will not make this garden die in vain and peril. I shall make this happen starting right now!
My head quickly darts towards a book laying there in a patch of grass. It’s funny how you people leave everything lying around, how lazy. I jump off the flower and race towards the book, feeling the wind blow at my face. Once I make it, I hoist myself onto the pages, seeing that there is an empty gap of your page that you didn’t use. A pen, the giant quills you humans scribble things down with, is also in my vision and an idea pops into my head. I grin and, somehow, snatch the pen into both of my hands and begin to write down a letter.
So, this is what I said to you:
To whom it may ever concern,
Please do something about your flowers. They are weltering and their tears are falling constantly. Do something immediately before they all die.
Lavender Prince
There, I hope this will help you realize about the situation. Now, the one thing that I have left to do in this situation is wait.
I’ve been waiting from spring to autumn and the person hasn’t answered my plea for help. Why isn’t that person answering me! Am I losing my mind? If you don’t believe me then hear this, half the flowers are gone, banished, destroyed. This is absurd! I feel like crying my heart out for help now, the garden is dying and there’s nothing I can do about it. Sure my job is to protect the garden, especially the flowers and lavenders, but I can’t do a thousand jobs at once!
I slump against a dead flower stem, tears finally escaping from my eyes. This is not fair, this is not fair! Do you know how hard it is just to make one flower well again? A month, an entire month it takes to rebuild that beauty into life! I close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep. I’m not too sure how long it will take, but I shall get my garden back.
The smell of rain runs up my nose and drenches my hair, causing me to snap my eyes to open. The weird thing is the fact that I’m hallucinating, the flowers seem to be surrounding me. That’s strange, the last time I remember the flowers were all dead. I blink, sitting up and rubbing my head. How long have I been out for? I don’t remember but this must be a lie. I place a hand on the stem, feeling the freshness of this baby flower. It smiles down on me, the tears of joy spilling down from the tip of the petal.
That’s obviously the rain but I don’t care. I don’t care! The flowers are back! It’s a miracle! I’m living again! This only proves that miracles can happen!
I mean, my dream has come true. The flowers are back and everything is okay once more. For that, I am happy.
I’m really happy!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hai there! AlexSushiDog here back from his break! Ready to review this piece of work!
First off, I found this short story to be fun to read and interesting to think about. It seems to be about a little girl who cares for this garden of flowers like mad. She doesn't seem to understand the world around her except for her flowers. I especially liked this story because it was from the point of view of this girl as she babbles on about her life and correcting herself; it sounds like someone actually talking to themselves!
I found in some places that I was really confused about what she was talking about. For example:
What does she mean by that? Shouldn't mother nature be a little bit nicer :3
I had another quick skim through and I couldn't see any other problems, good job!
I really enjoyed reading this, I loved the style of writing shown here.
Alex out, beep.
Thank you! This helps me.
Cheetah here, ready to review your piece!
Well, this was definitely interesting. I'm not quite sure if I completely understood it all, but that's okay. I really like your description, especially the part where the Lavender Prince is describing the flower. Well done on that!
There was one part where I was a little confused.
And even when we reach the end of this, he still hadn't reached the ground! Maybe shorten this up a little so it's easier to understand.
Other than that, this looks good. Keep writing!
Thank you!
Hi! It's Aravis; here to review! This is my first review on this site so... here it goes!
First, I like the laid back feel. It is somewhat like the Lavender Prince is actually talking to me. Plus, it is always interesting to look at humanity from a different perspective. This story definitely probed my thinking.
A few spelling errors I saw: First paragraph: "...landing on my spectacles WHICH is absolutely frustrating!" In the letter, I'm not sure, but I think you meant to put wilting, but you put weltering.
At first, I was a little confused. Is it a garden or a field? The biggest thing I noticed was, well, it felt like the Lavender Prince was telling me a story. But, it was in present tense. Then, it seemed to switch to a stream of consciousness sort of writing. Also, why did he start flying when he couldn't before? Maybe I just missed something.
This was interesting and fun to read and try to figure out. Keep it up!
Thanks!
Ohh,little did i know at first what you were trying to say.Ideas,ideas and ideas,frankly,are what i see in this story.But first let me ask you to fully tell me how this word match into the picture:"It’s weird really, every time I look at it from a daisy it looks as if it’s been painted into the picture."what is wierd?,looking at what from a daisy? What is actually a daisy,isn't is a flower?,and painted into what picture?,really u did something Good here,but making things clearer would bee much better.Absent-mindedly,i overlooked these words as i read it,whispering words of dissatisfaction in my heart,becuase it is clear(or real),but wait,if everybody overlook these words,then whenever it seem your words are not clear,they would jump over,thereby overlooking the whole write up.Another issue you should tackle is your plot,every little bits about it.A great story Per sé,not withstanding the faults(your fault) in it.Keep writing,and try making up the story again.If you need help,surely ask for help-that way upyou can make a better story,as ugly as i may have describe it,its a great work,your usage of first persom narrative is great!,i guess this is the first draft?,if it is then you are on the right path!!
Thank you! This helps me!