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One thing in this universe was always there and always was A mother’s love for her daughter From Eve To mine Will always be a Stong, everlasting Bond One person can make us tremble in fear One person can make us obey One person made us who were are One person we daren’t disobey Yet she’s the one person whose love we yearn the most for The most silent hero Who bears an unappreciated sacrifice A mother’s body is the most beautiful thing For with it she carried us She carries her love With it she continues to carry us; Uplifting us in our time of need Carrying our burdens Supplementing us with love My friend My hero My Mother. |
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I doubt there's anyone one this planet who can't relate to this poem. You've put it down beautifully!:)
But, the line breaks at times don't sound good, like at
"St(r)ong, everlasting
Bond"
OR
"Yet she’s the one person whose love we
yearn
the most
for"
I mean, everything about this poem is perfect and all you need is to give it a better structure, you know - the way you arrange the lines in a poem.
My favourite lines:
"The most silent hero
Who bears an unappreciated
sacrifice"
Keep writing!
This is really a beautiful poem!
A really good way to start everything off. A mothers love for her daughter. It is an amazing way to put accross that a mother and her child have a very strong bond, as though it was always meant to be that way. From the very begining. My only issue is that you say 'daughter' and a mothers love is for both son and daughter, you may want to change it to 'child'. Even though this may be written from a perspective of a daughter to her mother... it is probably a good idea to put accross the point of a mother loving her children, not just daughter. See where I'm coming from?
I really love this stanza. I just do. It fits together so perfectly, and describes a mother so well too. It may describe a mother as someone to fear, but when you look between the lines, along with the rest of the poem, we can see that it comes from a protective nature. An act of instinct of a mother.
Very true. Our mothers are the ones we want to make proud, no matter what. Even if we argue with them, and claim to hate them, we all still want to make our mothers proud, and want them to love us tremendously. They do so much, and are never appriciated enough for it. Without them, we wouldn't be here, and that gets underlooked so many times. I really do love this stanza too, it's quite moving.
Again, a beautiful stanza. Whenever we are upset, it is our mother we go too. Whenever we have a problem, it is our mother who we go too. And whenever we go to our mother with those issues, she gives us her love, and assures you everything will be fine.
With this, I can see why you chose 'daughter' instead of 'child', as it is generally a mother and daughter who share the problems, and who share a lot with eachother. But 'child' child still works just as powerfully.
A lovely way to end the poem. A mother being our friend, our hero and of course, our mother. Just a perfect way to sum everything up. Simple yet filled with meaning.
Okay, so overall, I loved this poem! I can't see any spelling mistakes... No mistakes at all really.
The only thing I am going to complain about is the way you structured the stanzas... they look a bit awkward. It may look better like this:
Spoiler
was always there
and always was
A mother’s love for her daughter
From Eve
To mine
Will always be a
Stong, everlasting bond
One person can make us tremble in fear
One person can make us obey
One person made us who were are
One person we daren’t disobey
Yet she’s the one person whose love we
yearn the most for
The most silent hero
Who bears an unappreciated sacrifice
A mother’s body is the most beautiful thing
For with it she carried us
She carries her love
With it she continues to carry us;
Uplifting us in our time of need
Carrying our burdens
Supplementing us with love
My friend
My hero
My Mother.
There may be a few comma's that you can add at the end of stanzas, just to spilt it up more evenly, but it's nothing too important.
Well done Stella! Keep writing for sure!
-Clarity'xo