étudiant
Do you remember the hiss of gas
from brass taps on wooden benches?
The orange tube, frayed at the edge,
the rusted bottom of a Bunsen burner?
Do you remember that the tall, proud,
yellow
That flicked and teased at hair and
sleeves
was safer
Than little,
blue,
closed-in?
Do
you remember what rendezvous meant en français?
Did
you remember it then, with twilight cups of milk and cereal,
and
gentle hugs goodnight, and a quiet serpent tongue,
to
those who ignored our adolescent rituals –
Too
involved,
up
in the music room,
with
rituals of their own.
Do you remember how much music means when you’re seventeen?
Did you touch it, lift it?
That veil over Juliet,
And Daisy Buchanan,
We laughed at it until poetry swallowed
us whole.
It destroys the same way.
Can
you still grasp
that
moment when everything was free,
and
amazing,
and
possible?
The
sports fields stretched forever,
there
was the church bell toll,
and
deer racing past the maths classroom.
Were you thinking of it then?
You had a Swallows and Amazons,
Boy’s Own,
homegrown
wilderness inside you.
What a thing to put in a metal-ringed
pen.
Did
you know Delilah wept
when
she realised what she’d done?
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139,640 Literary Works • 672,638 Reviews
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hmm..very interesting..I do love poetry and this is a pretty nice..not bad at all.you have quite tastes of imagination and good choice of words,.
I kind of like that...why not post poetry everyday? it will be very nice..lovely gentle poems like your, makes feel comfortable, good feelings..good luck bright poet.
Ooh. That first section really hit me with the nostalgia. And the fourth absolutely pins down a moment for me - a long, sustained memory kind of moment.
I'm afraid I can't write a review that really does this justice on my phone, but I want you to know I really like this. The "Swallows and Amazons, Boy's Own, homegrown wilderness" is a wonderful description that really paints a picture.
You lost me a little with "it destroys the same way" - I don't think I quite understand, but it's possible I'm missing something from not having read The Great Gatsby? Or is it just referring to the swallowing whole?
Hey @Cadi! Thanks for the review
that line is referring to the "swallowing whole" rather than to Daisy which is a Great Gatsby reference or Juliet from Romeo and Juliet. The "it" in that stanza is meant to refer to that all consuming, destructive type of love - and I chose those two texts as texts we often read in English classes as teenagers to fit with the rest of the theme - but I can see how that isn't clear! I'll try clean it up. Thanks a mill 
Why does the text center and then go left intermittently? It really confused me there. also 'You had a Swallows and Amazons' should be 'you had Swallows and Amazons'. Also, tall proud yellow what? That really threw me off, even though you left out a word twice like that, I mean, I don't know what you are trying to describe, because of missing signifiers, but it may just be how you wanted to word it. Other than the strange placement of the text and some grammatical errors and missing words, I think it's a great poem.
Hey @AneiDoru! Thanks for the review. The first stanza those lines refer to the flame from a Bunsen burner but I wanted to use the colours themselves as the nouns/subjects of the sentences but maybe that doesn't come across well.
Swallows and Amazons is a book and I was using it as a descriptor so the "a" refers to the wilderness a few lines down. But I can see the problem - I'm using adjectives as nouns and nouns as adjectives! My bad.
Thanks for the review
The feeling of nostalgia is so prevalent and wonderfully executed in this. I particularly love the lines "We laughed at it until poetry swallowed us whole. / It destroys the same way." Beautiful poem Stella!
Thanks for your kind words, @alliyah! I'm really glad you felt that because that's exactly what I wanted to convey.
Oh, étudiant is the French for student. I...probably should have realized that, since the Spanish is estudiante.
Hmm...is there anything much to say? I love this poem. It's contemplative, elaborate, and has a gorgeous style (the formatting, in particular, is flawless, and separates stanzas/moments appropriately). As far as I can tell (and I hope I got this correctly, because I hate getting themes wrong, even if it's so easy for me to do), it's a powerful piece on teenage years and memories. The openness and freedom involved is best visualized, and directly expressed, in the descriptions of the third-to-last stanza and the wilderness metaphor in the second-to-last one. However, the more subtle preceding stanzas are equally effective. There is the description of Bunsen burners and flames, which are vivid and evocative. I'm reminded of stars, and how the coldest have red colors, whereas the warmest are blue. As such, considering the metaphor, it shows the force that being quiet/an introvert may have over being open/an extrovert; the former of which being more likely to compose a teenager's life. The couple relaxing in the sunset, hissing softly (sort-of mockingly, I suppose?) at those ignoring their rituals, is perhaps my favorite part of the poem. It's the most romantic part here, but hits the sweet spot between over and underdone. The result adds on to the relationship between the narrator and "you" beautifully, emphasizing their mutual memories and wonders.
That final stanza, though, adds a whole new tone to the poem in such few words. As Delilah stripped Samson of the hair that was his power, so too might adulthood and adult responsibilities deprive one of the innocence and freedom of teenage years. Heck, I can even view the narrator as the force of time, locking arms with "you" in younger years and depriving them of their past blessings in later ones. That may be going too far, of course, in my interpretations, but it could definitely add more layers of symbolism to an already beautifully complex piece. All in all, this was a remarkable poem to read, and I may have enjoyed it more if I was in a position to better relate to it (being sixteen, the poem came across as more foreboding/bittersweet than somebody in their twenties might take it). Great job!
Wow @TheSilverFox! Thank you for your beautiful interpretation. It was really interesting to see where you come from. I love this about poetry, how things have so many different meanings, I'd never really thought about who the narrator was.
The poem is mainly about nostalgia about teenage years but in particular it refers to a friend of mine who just got married (that's what the 'metal ringed pen') refers to and reflecting on those intense relationships you have as teenagers. That's how I intended the flame metaphor to be but equally can refer to personality types!
And it's funny that you read the second stanza as a couple/romance, it more refers to the group - in my boarding school at night all the boys and girls gathered to hug goodnight except for the ones too busy with their boyfriends/girlfriends. But the whole thing is meant to feel romantic and magical and I'm glad that that's how you felt about it!
Sorry I'm in no way refuting your interpretation, in fact I adore it. I was mainly trying to convey an emotion and I'm so glad that you got that and I love the way a poem converts depending on who reads it, and I appreciate so much hearing what you thought about each stanza