Hey there staph! Not sure if your username makes sense to shorten that way, lol, but I'm sticking to it! I quickly read through the previous chapters so that I could have some context for this review!
First thing I noticed was that Veronica's voice in this narration is very distinct! I like how I got a clear idea of her personality just a few lines in because of how she's reacting to this guy's confession of love towards her. It's also kind of funny how she's treating the audience like she's pulling us in an aside, like a mentor taking us under her wing, and assuming what we think (though I will say on my end she's not correct in her assumptions, lol).
Man, Veronica's been through a lot. Understandably, she's having a hard time. I really hope she gets out of this!
I do wonder though, about her calling this man who kidnapped her "the Author." I know you put this story under satire, so I'm wondering if this is some kind of commentary on how characters feel when the literal author just makes life a living hell for them by causing one thing after the other to happen. If that's what you're going for though it's a little weird to me why the Author is confessing their love for Veronica, and, if I read that correctly, definitely assaulted her to some degree.
It's also interesting that a lot of Veronica's internal dialogue seems contradictory to her actions. On one hand, she'll say things like:
I was in a car; a car with a psycho and that’s...that’s okay.
Only moments before this happens:
I repeated the question as I began to bang my palms against my ears violently as I continued to scream on top of my lungs, sobbing like a child in a Walmart.
So it seems like there's a disconnect between her mind and her emotions. I hope she's able to find her way out of this or someone comes to help her, but I don't know if that's the story you're looking to tell, especially since it all started with her walking into her home and finding her dead parents. ;-;
I'm curious to see where this story leads, and I hope more clarity comes along the way. I'll go read the next chapter! If you have any questions or want more specific feedback let me know.
Keep writing!
-sound
Points: 5037
Reviews: 182
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